Is Marriage For White People?

Love is rarely the motivating reason for marriage, and Stephanie Coontz’s article, “The Radical Idea of Marrying for Love,” discusses this. Coontz brings forth a lot of information and many examples to inform the reader of how the western idea of marriage isn’t really as common as we believe that it is. She starts her article with a quote from George Bernard Shaw, who says that people who marry for love are, “under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions…” Many of the cultures that Coontz goes onto talk about later in the article share this viewpoint. The author writes about the history of marriage and touches on societies that have obscure views of it now. She does a great job of organizing the information into a timeline starting with marriage in the ancient times, love in African tribes, adultery throughout history, monogamy, and marriage now in Western society. Most of Western society bases getting married on the idea of “love until death.” Coontz argues that this Western invention is and has often been seen as radical.

Marriage is a relationship is about coming together in which two people have promised themselves being with each other. However, marriage in the United States has changed in the 1950s from what it is today. Marriage in the 1950s was different because there was no such idea of a divorce because women had to fix their marriage. (Tartakovsky). Yet, marriage that occurs today people can get a divorce in America. Marriage is better today in America than in the 1950s because of more freedom and not being pressured into marriage in society. This time period 2015 for me is more preferable to live in for marriages instead of in the 1950s. Although marriage is a union between two people, there is a

“Marriage and Love”, a short essay by Emma Goldman, gives a wonderful argument regarding love and marriage, in fact, she nails it. Marriage does not equal love or has anything nothing to do with it. Not only that, but the marriage could also easily kill whatever relationship was there prior to the declaration. Marriage is simply a social construct, one that imposes control by religion, tradition, and social opinion (Goldman 304). However, if marriage is such the ball and chain that we all joke about, then why do people get married?

Growing up children are surrounded with a fairy tale life, the ‘happily ever after.’ As girls we are supposed to wait for our prince charming and he will love us forever; and for boys it is finding and rescuing a beautiful princess who can cook, clean, and is loved by all creatures. That is what marriage is based off of as a child, but that perspective changes once we get a small grasp of the concept of love and we really see what marriage is. Marriage is not something anyone goes into lightly and maybe our expectations of the fairy tale life are why divorce is so commonly sought.

Marriage has changed dramatically over time in the many years it has been around. What do think Marriage was like 100 years ago? The article, “American Marriage in Transition”, describes how many different types of marriage there are and how people have changed their view on it. Andrew Cherlin (the sociologist of the article) does a great job going in depth explaining American marriage. He arranges the different marriages in three different categories; Institutionalized which was the earliest type of marriage, then Companionship around World War II, and currently we are considered Individualized.

He attended the University of Chicago and after serving in the Navy he attended the Northwestern University Law School and graduated with the highest grades in the law school history. He has been married twice and has a son and three daughters from his first wife.

Love is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection. Although it is not as easily defined as some may make it. Every situation and the lessons we learn from those times, help to form what we believe love to be. For some it may be a physical attachment that others degrade to lust. For some it may be their reason for continuing on in life; but overall for most, love is what drives our lives. From childhood to adulthood we seek to find relationships that will fulfill our hearts and make our short time on Earth a little more enjoyable. However as well as any other activity we partake in, ways in which we perceive love and marriage have changed over time. Although there is slight variations, when most imagine the life of a married couple pure happiness is what is expected. As wonderful as that expectation may be, not every marriage fits into this ideal. The criteria of marriage used to be based off of what your partner can offer you. However as times have changed and gender roles have begun to disappear, marriage has now

Marriage has often been described as one of the most beautiful and powerful unions one human can form with another. It is the sacred commitment and devotion that two people share in a relationship that makes marriage so appealing since ancient times, up until today. To have and to hold, until death do us part, are the guarantees that two individuals make to one another as they pledge to become one in marriage. It is easy to assume that the guarantee of marriage directly places individuals in an everlasting state of love, affection, and support. However, over the years, marriage has lost its fairy

Marriage has been a heated controversy for the past few years because people often marry for the wrong reasons. Anyone who thinks of an ideal marriage would think of two people loving each other and sharing a personal bond or goals together. Marriage is regularly defined as the legally or formally recognized union of two lovers as partners in a personal relationship. This definition remarks there is an actual connection between two people in marriage, but do people actually consider this when committing to “love” and “support” their partners forever? As research and studies have shown, people ultimately get married for many reasons, except love. This philosophy can be easily applied to the short poem, “Marriage” by Gregory Corso. In this emotional poem, the author argues marriage is more effectively understood or known for culture and convenience rather than through the abstract considerations of love. Here, we can identify people generally decide to marry for the incorrect reasons, for instance the story of the author himself. Corso finds himself confused multiple times, wondering if he should marry to not be lonely, for tradition and for his physical and mental health. He disregards love, a relationship or a connection with his future wife. General ways of convenience like loneliness, health and economic status between cultural stereotypes and religion are usually the true reasons of why people chose to have the commitment of marriage with another person.

What is the definition of marriage? Over the years, the word marriage has been challenged from its current definition as listed in Merriam-Webster 's Dictionary as an act of marrying or being married between a man and a woman. Marriage can also be defined in the Oxford Dictionary as the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife. The word marriage becomes a special type of bond between two people that share the same desire to become the other person’s life partner. Marriage can be challenging between two people based on their current government state laws, in their religious and cultural beliefs as well as challenging to the word to be defined

Love is a very powerful emotion that a human can experience. The essay Over 40 and Unmarried by Ron Beathard and I’m Not Sick, I’m Just in Love by Katherine Davis state what they think about love and marriage. People perceive life in different ways. Some people want to live their life first then get married, others want to get married early and live their life with their significant other. There is no right choice, it all depends on the individual.

Marriage is the unity of a man and a woman as partners in a relationship. Generally, a couple would get married due to strong emotional feelings towards each other. This leads to them pronouncing their vows and promises to each other which should last for the rest of their lifetimes. But, in some cases, there are exceptions. Marriage can lead to a separation due to the differences in interests between a husband and a wife.

Marriage is a ritual that marks a change in status for a man and a woman and the acceptance by society of the new family that is formed (Rosman & Rubel, 1981). Marriage, like other customs, is governed by rules (Rosman & Rubel, 1981). Anthropology has represented marriage as the definitive ritual and universally translatable regulative ideal of human societies (BORNEMAN, 1996). Marriage also the act of joining two persons of opposite sex together to become as husband and wife. Many people in the society have different opinions or outright misconception of the meaning of marriage. While some people see it as a union between a man and woman, others take it to mean an agreement made between a man

Marriage has many different meanings and the most traditional is religious. Theologically, it is a sacred union and equal partnership of a man and a woman that is given to us by God. For non-believers, it 's just a legal or formal recognized union between partners that are in a relationship. Lady with the Pet Dog, written by Anton Chekhov is a short story that focuses on two people that find themselves in love. They are not in love to the person that they are married to, but with each other. Dmitri is a professional banker who is nearly forty, has three kids, dislikes his wife, dislikes women in general, and carries on a number of affairs with neither regret nor much emotion. He has a low standard of women, and does not seem them as equals. Anna a young woman who is vacationing in Yalta without her husband is not satisfied with him, and the relationship she is in. Both partners seem to be unhappy with their life as a married spouse and decide to part take in an affair. Their motivation is driven by feeling discontent with the life they are currently living in with both their spouses. They both see the affair as a one night stand that happened, but little do they know that they will fall in love with each other. Many might argue that this is not real love, but an immoral adulterous relationship. My thoughts are a bit different, because I believe that love is found on what their heart desires. It is hard to predict when one will fall in love or with whom. A person can fall in

Wisdom gained from the American culture can be confusing. Especially when the topic turns to love the numerous variables can lead to misunderstanding. Looking past the fact that we are seen as an individualistic culture, the concept of love, specifically romantic love, is one typically lost. Despite the dramatization of romantic love in our culture rampant with mixed media illustrating the feeling of a loving relationship love as an action has the potential of being overlooked. The mainstream view possibly could be that love and marriage is purely based in emotions. It is safe to presume that most have the common knowledge that marriage has a 50% success rate. With 40- 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce in the United States and subsequent marriages having an even higher rate (Marriage & divorce, 2015)