Essay about Is Monogamy the Best Option?

Modern, contemporary society’s mindset on marriage has shifted considerably over the years. Some research has noted the increase in early sexual experiences, greater acceptance of cohabitation and the increase in narcissistic tendencies, are complicating and muddying the ideals of what marriage means to people today. Research done on this subject resulted in several studies that found that spouses who did not believe that marriage would last forever, were less likely to commit to the relationship financially and were more likely to have extramarital affairs.

Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera, two Mexican artists, entered into a consensually non-monogamous relationship. Frida was very well aware that it was not in Diego to be a monogamous man. We know this because she answered the question of why she puts up with his affairs like this; “Look, Diego is how he is, and that is how I love him. I cannot love him for what he is not. (Clancy Sigal).” These relationships are basically ways to engage in sex outside of the relationship but they differ from cheating because the partner is aware. Different types of non-monogamous relationships include partner swapping, swinging and polyamory (Pappas). Studies are just beginning to be started about consensual non-monogamy, but there is some evidence that these

An important question that is being asked in America, Is Monogamy over? In my opinion, No. The definition of monogamy to me is being intimate, sexual or emotional, with one person for a period of time. Many people are questioning monogamy because of so many broken homes and broken relationships, but is it because of the monogamy issue in the United States? Or is the problem much deeper? Maybe the definition of monogamy has changed? I think if a relationship begins with trust and strong communication monogamy will be easier to attain. I also believe the more spiritual/religious a couple is, monogamy is possible. And lastly, the happier and more satisfied an individual is in a relationship the easier it is to be in a monogamous relationship.

The Science of Two-Timing: The State of Infidelity Research noted, “Americans are obsessed with infidelity, and the indiscretions of high

Relationships can either be monogamous or non-monogamous in nature and its definitions and functions can vary. A monogamous relationship is traditionally characterised by two individuals who have dependent children or also as a ‘nuclear family.’ Monogamy is a hetero-normative practice that involves two individuals in a relationship; the couple is not engaged in extramarital intimacy. Nuclear families also fall under this practice. Polyamory is a non-monogamous practice that refers to multiple intimate partners and experiences. However, some scholars argue that if, or when one individual engages in infidelity, Polyamory is a viable option to sustain the relationship. Academic research positions Polyamory as an option that may successfully

People who enter into polyamorous relationships also report an “At first… but then” experience. At first they believe that there is something wrong with them or that they are interested in cheating on their partners. After doing some research they find that there are others like them, and that they are not as abnormal as they originally thought. They discover that there are more people out there like them, and that it is possible to enter into multiple, honest relationships (Barker, 2005). More people might be interested in polyamorous relationships if they were not afraid of the repercussions placed on them by society. People are afraid of ideas that go against cultural norms, and nonmonogamous relationships definitely push the boundaries. They might view polyamorous relationships as more realistic for their lifestyles and how they feel about relationships, but are too afraid to enter into a polyamorous relationship because they are pressured by their culture to participate in exclusive relationships. Also, many people who do engage in polyamorous relationships are not actually “out” about their relationships or sexual interests. Very small numbers of people are actually open about their nonmonogamous relationships either sexually or emotionally (Barker, 2005). Many people are

As a result of divorce or death, many individuals in monogamous societies will be in a series of monogamous marriages over the course

Unsatisfied with their partners results in divorce rates and infidelity. These have increased over the years, blemishing the institution of marriage. People may believe that compromises and self sacrifice in a marriage make it a failed institute but the same reasons make a marriage successful. A married man has a constant in his life- his partner. The security and companionship in the relationship helps him achieve happiness. The same sharing is now a pleasure, a way to prevent loneliness (Argyle; 1999). Marriage is known to cause greater satisfaction, greater self esteem and less distress. Evidence shows that married men and women are happier.

romantic partners of having sexual relations with another individual, or thoughts of their romantic partner producing deep emotional attachment. Throughout the predictions, the larger proportion of men than women decided sexual infidelity is more distressing. These coerced forced-choice results were repeated in a second study in which men displayed signs of more physiological arousal when visualizing their partners having intimate relations with another individual. This has been duplicated in many studies; the original source employing Buss et al.’s forced-choice methodology. (Guadagno & Sagarin, 2010)

Imagine having more than one mom and 40 siblings. Or having to share your husband with you sister. Or being rejected by the community you grew up in for being a young man. This is a reality for most people living in a polygamous society. TV shows like “Big Love” and “Sister Wives” have romanticized the practice of Polygamy; But it does not deserve glorification. Polygamy has a negative impact on society because it hurts women, young men, and children.

When people move from partner to partner, often with no intention of seeing the person again, they have to refrain from the natural inclinations to form a bond of trust with them. As Zimmerman states, “Rather than learning to approach the other with openness, the practice of hooking up encourages one to draw near to the other with distrust, doubt, and fear…hooking up in its most basic form, is simply about the ability to become unhooked from one’s partner” (Zimmerman 56). Although the natural human response to intimacy follows sexual behaviors, those who engage in “hooking up” must guard themselves, suppressing that desire, in order to continue this behavior without hanging on to past partners. This is not healthy behavior if one intends to enter into marriage in the long-run, as the practice of self-disclosure and trust is integral to a long term relationship. Again, Zimmerman writes, “the practice of hooking up fosters the skill of shutting down one’s mind and heart and allowing only one’s body to function as something to be consumed without any development of emotional or psychological intimacy” (Zimmerman 56). This is also unhealthy behavior for a future relationship. Constant practices of disrespect, objectification, and a lack of self-disclosure are sure to become habitual, and prevent

Intimates who develop high levels of attachment avoidance, in contrast, doubt the availability of close others and cope by avoiding behaviors that promote intimacy.” (Russel 242). In relation to each other, both attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance are factors that play into infidelity. Attachment anxiety in a relationship can be clinging onto one’s partner. This becomes a problem if suffocation from day to day activity is taken away by over control. An overcontrolling partner exemplifies selfishness or fear, whether of being left, or of not being good enough, and the reassurance of having one’s partner accept this is a red flag. Adultery is more as a shock for people in these situations, because it presents itself unexpected. In attachment avoidance, it is easier to comprehend the action of infidelity because there isn’t much communication or intimacy to start with. The correlation is positive in the experiment if one partner expresses an attachment disorder, then they’re more likely to have sexual relations outside of their

However, according to the study, they are both more concerned about physical infidelity. Eventhough, infidelity can have different meaning to people, the feeling that someone gets when it’s physcial is the same in everyone if they are in a monogamous

My experience as therapist tells me it’s important to make distinctions between a true orientation and sudden, unilateral or what I would call faux-polyamory, because of the harm it does to unwitting participants, the concept of polyamory itself, to those who practice ethical non-monogamy.

Monogamy does not imply fidelity (Fisher 63), and marriage does not imply monogamy. To understand this surprising statement, the word "monogamy" must be interpreted in a biological sense, and marriage in a legal sense. In other words, monogamy is just two people in a relationship for their mutual benefit, perhaps involving an extended family and children. Monogamy does not necessarily mean a life-long relationship, but it can, nor does it exclude occasional philandering. It is monogamy as long as two people maintain a pair-bond for their mutual benefit, no matter how short the relationship lasts. Marriage, on the other hand, legally recognizes many different mating