It Changed My Mindset About My Spirituality

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Overall this project was moderately successful, because it changed my mindset about my spirituality. When starting this project it was hard to accept the existence of forces outside myself that could affect me. Forces like god, love, change or fate. The habitual refusal to acknowledging these forces was my way of keeping my spirituality isolated and unchanging. It had taken time for my negativity to convert what was a beneficial view of these ideas into a sterile and safe spirituality. So to protect my sensitive ego from considering that my confusion could be easily explained or even solved by simplicity. Found in common places like bible verses. That existential anxiety was not a symptom getting closer to myself but instead to an…show more content…
While reading, something irked at me as wrong with them. They answered all the questions in the plan, but to me the answers were wrong. They were not going in a direction that I felt would help me care for myself. After reading, rereading and checking the projects direction endlessly the error became clear. I was trying too hard to change a concept that can’t be changed intentionally. Directly trying to change spirituality is like trying to change the direction wind by turning your body. While I may have been going in circles during most of the nine weeks, by reading the bible strictly for the project and without searching deeply for my own personal reason, praying only because it was for a progress report and because of faith or viewing my negativity as something new and devoting so much attention to it during the progress reports. Despite all that, there were moments when the wind blew a certain way over my body, touching something deep under my skin. That thing has been called soul, by Plotinus Poe St. John of the Cross or myself as just another metacognitive strategy to explain what my words cannot. Allowing myself to accept that these great thinkers may have been onto something was healing. By doing so it removed such a weight off my shoulders. For the first time since I was young I felt like I again could be free from the responsibility of being. I could exist as creation, an ideal that under no circumstance could stray too far off the well
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