Item I Carry

Decent Essays
I carry numerous items and a list of unexplainable and unnecessary baggage. From important and useful items like responsibilities and hard work ethic to foolish baggage like my fear of being hated by others and my mind constantly worrying about every minute detail of unimportant events. The tangible and most important item I carry are my keys. I understand that the majority of people carry keys and many people respond with always having them, but my keys are truly irreplaceable and extremely substantial. My jet black oval with a silver outline and buttons essentially controls my whole world. My parents both leave for work in the morning and I am the oldest of four kids so my keys not only serve a purpose to me, but they contribute throughout…show more content…
I avoid talking at school because I don’t want people to think I am annoying. I have been told that my voice is annoying and I don’t want to irritate people so I just keep quiet for the most part. I want to be “that girl” who is outgoing, confident and people want to talk to her… but instead I have a handful of friends and stay quiet. People avoid talking to me and no one reaches out to me since I unknowingly give off an ‘avoid me’ vibe because I am so scared of being outgoing and consequently irritating people. Internally, I am very social, caring and have a sense of humor, but I am too scared to be myself so I have decided it’s better to just be overlooked.
As far as smelling bad, I know that I don’t. Bad smelling people are disgusting however, and my great distaste for body odor has caused me to become extremely self aware of my own breath and smell. I shower twice a day and brush my teeth all the time to avoid smelling bad because I never want to be that person that makes other people turn their heads in disgust. Part of my avoidance tactic is to never standing close to anyone and not talking unless I have to. Personal space is something I stand by and I am not at all a touchy
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I have always struggled with my weight and have always been fat. I know I am over weight and I strived for a healthy life, but the doctors said unless I can control my mind, then I will never lose weight. I used to stress eat or not eat for a long time and then binge eat. Mentally, I knew this was unhealthy, but I could not help it. I have been working hard on my weight loss and being healthy and it is finally working. My sleeping habits and schedule are also discombobulated since my mind never stops spinning. I cannot remember a time where I slept for more than two hours at a time. I wake up every other two hours since my mind never stops. My heart beat throbs into my ears when I sleep and makes my brain quiver from the extreme amount of thoughts existing in my head. I always feel the need to be up and working, even my parents will tell me to quit doing chores and other things and go rest, but I physically and mentally
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