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Joan Smetana Is An Eighty-Four Year Old, Four Foot Ten,

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Joan Smetana is an eighty-four year old, four foot ten, Catholic-German woman. She is sister to Mary-Ann Koenig wife to the late-Robert Smetana, and mother to Therese and Mary. She has five grandchildren, one of them in me. I love my grandmother, or as I call her: “Nana.” She is one of those woman that everyone loves, whether you know her or not; however, those who are closest to her, her family, tend to love her more from a distance, but love her none the less. She is literally the center of her family, as her house is in between the homes of her two daughters, otherwise known as my backyard and two streets over from my Aunt Mary. Eighteen years of growing up, knowing she was watching out her window for any sign of trouble and having…show more content…
Yes, I should call my grandmother more; yet, every time I pick up my phone and have all the intentions of calling her I usually get side tracked and it never happens or I chicken out because chances are I will learn about all these people who have died, knowing maybe one of them, and get lectured on why I should go to church, which to her knowledge I do every week. She also likes to call me fat and lecture me on all these diets that she heard about on the news and then, if I’m physically there, offers me cake or cookies or some other unhealthy food. When it comes to my grandmother she can make you feel like you caused the rainy day. She does what I would call and “open-face sandwich approach” to giving her thoughts. This means that she piles the fillings on with the insults and tells you everything, everything that is wrong with you or that you have done wrong, making you feel, continuing with the sandwich metaphor, bloated, horrible about yourself, and feeling sickly; however, she quickly concludes with something nice so that if you are not use to having the Catholic guilt, then this is where you go and have a good cry about life and then try to make up whenever “wrong” to my grandmother by: calling all the time, talking about all the dead people that she knows, agreeing with her on everything, and basically just making her feel like a queen until the you start to wear off again from her will
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