John Gottman

Marriage is an adjustment between two people getting married Communication can cause a relationship to succeed or fail. If you do not share how you feel, it can cause your partner to withdraw. Listening can save a relationship. Schonberg (2011) found that “affective affirmation –basically, behavior that makes your partner feel loved cared for or special plays a role in a happy marriage and those men need it more than women. There are several factors and problems that can cause marriage to either succeed or fail. It is important to discuss problem things left unsaid can cause your partner to with draw.

The second part of Franklins advice is equally crucial. Marriage is all about being forgiving, overlooking, and staying positive. The first is very critical when it comes to being in a marriage. Being forgiving is pretty much the same as being tolerant to towards one another. The dictionary definition of being tolerant from Oxford Dictionaries says that being tolerant is “showing willingness to allow opinions or a certain behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.” This definition explains why a lot of individuals who are married experience frustration towards their spouse. In many cases the person you are involved with will have a certain behavior or interest that the individuals you associate with won’t always agree with, but just because they have those certain behaviors or interests that others can’t seem to grasp doesn’t mean that it is going to ruin or even be the slightest bit harmful towards your marriage. A good example of this is say you are married to a man who has a habit of going to his favorite bar after work to have a drink. He

According to the WHO (World Health Organization) the health of the people in the United States has not always been the greatest. With an obesity rate of 33.9 percent, which translates into over 106 million obese Americans, this has caused many problems to arise and impact the daily lives of Americans. Many have tried to help in regards to this issue by improving school foods or attempting to encourage more physical activity. Unfortunately, these may have helped but only in a small scale. However, a fellow at the Union of Concerned Scientists, Mark Bittman believes that he may have a definitive solution. On May 25, 2016, in “Taxing Sugar to Fund a City” New York Times food journalist, Mark Bittman, by using the taxing of sugary beverages in Philadelphia - America’s poorest big city - earnestly

“Will Your Marriage Last?”, by Aviva Patz, is a cohesive article about marriage and divorce. Aviva Patz is the executive editor of Psychology Today. Patz narrates the story of Ted Huston, a professor at the University of Texas, who followed the lives of 168 couples for 13 years after their wedding date. She was then able to draw conclusions about what makes a couple stay together or end up filing divorce papers. Although marriages and divorce are the themes of this article, it is really about society’s pressure on young people to be perfect.

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

Unsatisfied with their partners results in divorce rates and infidelity. These have increased over the years, blemishing the institution of marriage. People may believe that compromises and self sacrifice in a marriage make it a failed institute but the same reasons make a marriage successful. A married man has a constant in his life- his partner. The security and companionship in the relationship helps him achieve happiness. The same sharing is now a pleasure, a way to prevent loneliness (Argyle; 1999). Marriage is known to cause greater satisfaction, greater self esteem and less distress. Evidence shows that married men and women are happier.

In their lab in Seattle they had 50 pairs of newlyweds come at different times and stay overnight at an apartment where they will be asked to act natural under the circumstances that they will be monitored for 12 hours straight starting at 9am and ending at 9pm. They have video cameras, microphones, and monitors strapped to their chests. With the scientific breakthrough, Gottman and Silver, believed monitoring the newlyweds overnight was the best way to receive the information needed. After an experiment of 130 newlyweds Gottman and Silver (1999), accurately predicted that 15 of the couples were to divorce. Seventeen did end of divorcing over the next seven years including the 15 that they predicted. Being able to predict who will remain happily married and who will divorce is and incredible talent, however being able to keep troubled marriages from crumbling would be an even more impressive talent. Gottman and Silver (1999), later discuss ways to keep troubled marriages going with their theory of seven principles for making marriage

Gottman method couple therapy or Gottman's Sound Relationship House (SRH) theory (Gottman, 1999) is grounded on years of John Gottman’s research and exploration about what makes marital relationships succeed or fail. The outcomes of these studies reveal that couples with successful

In the first chapter of her book, You Just Don't Understand, Men and Women in Conversation, Deborah Tannen quotes, "...studies have shown that married couples that live together spend less than half an hour a week talking to each other...". (24) This book is a wonderful tool for couples to use for help in understanding each other. The two things it stresses most is to listen, and to make yourself heard. This book opened my eyes to the relationship I am in now, with a wonderful person, for about four years. It made me realize that most of our little squabble-like fights could have been avoided, if one or the other of us could sit down and

The ten principles are as follows. The first principle he points out is to avoid the seven-point checklist which includes things like getting married too fast, making the decision at too young of an age, experience base that is too narrow and a couple that has unrealistic expectations. His second principle is that people must develop a clear image of the person they want to marry. One should consider the personality, ambition, chemistry and other aspects to create their image. Warren says, that principle three is that one should marry someone that is very similar to oneself because with too many differences a healthy relationship cannot be built. Principle four is that both people in the relationship must be emotionally healthy before they can form a healthy marriage. Principle five says, one should be passionately I love with whom they marry, but must not show all the passion until after the marriage begins. Principle six states, that passionate love is necessary, but marriage should not begin until a deeper love is developed because passion

Rather than giving up and ending the marriage, many couples could save the marriage by trying to work through the problems that arise. Many people do not realize how much hard work has to be put into a marriage for it to be successful. When planning a wedding, some couples spend a lot of time preparing the vows that will be exchanged during the ceremony, but sadly the partners fail to live by the vows day after day. Scores of married couples drift apart because their hectic lives do not allow them to spend enough quality time together, which is important for a healthy marriage. Communication is also an essential factor in working through problems in a marriage.

When couples realize their relationship is starting to fail, they will try different things such as marriage counseling. That is when the couple will sit down with a therapist and they will try to work their problems out. Sometimes therapy can help the couples work their issues out and get to the root of their problems. Another solution is a vacation or a second honeymoon where they can reconcile or rekindle the relationship that they use to have. Or even as far as moving away to get a new start on life, to try to get away from the old way of how things use to be and try to start a new life together again.

A good marriage must be built on the foundation of this commitment. In marriage, the Little things ARE the big things...Its never being too old to hold hands, its remembering to say " I LOVE YOU," at least once a day. Its never going to sleep angry with one another, its standing together and facing the world! Its speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways, Its having the

Suppressing thoughts and emotions creates a subconscious tension in the mind, and it is possible that this tension causes a new argument in the future. However, as the research by Carnstensen, Gottman, and Levenson (1995) states, older couples have learned to let the other person retain their beliefs and opinions. This behavior allows them to achieve a happy marriage, unlike those couples which respond aggressively to differences in their personal opinions. However, this research does not state why people introduce possessive and dominant behavior in their relationships. This behavior can only lead to arguments and negative emotions in a marriage.

What 's the secret to marriages that last despite the annoying or frustrating habits of their partner? How do they make it through the negative times when one is being a little less than perfect? They focus on the positive and not the negative. They don 't dwell on what the other person does wrong. They don 't dwell on the bad times in the relationship. And, during tough days, they find a positive to focus on to help them avoid saying or doing something that could start an argument in the relationship.