Of particular interest to me was the complicated nature of categorizing and defining self-forgiveness. What seemed to be a simple concept is, in fact, layered with multiple levels of complex considerations that must be addressed in order to properly define and diagram self-forgiveness.
Review of "The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Depression, Anxiety, and Posttraumatic Stress for Women After Spousal Emotional Abuse”
The article, “The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Depression, Anxiety, and Posttraumatic Stress for Women after Spousal Emotional Abuse”, by Gayle L. Reed and Robert D. Enright, is a research study about the effects of forgiveness therapy. The study compared forgiveness therapy with alternative treatments, such as anger validation, assertiveness, and interpersonal skills, to provide an efficient treatment for emotional abused women.
Chapter 21 discusses the Forgiveness and Reconciling Though Experiencing Empathy (FREE) model as a useful model for couple therapy (Ripley & Worthington, 2014). Forgiveness interventions creates a platform to resolve issues that are affecting the ability to maintain a stable relationship. Forgiveness is not an isolated event but a filtration of hurt and emotional pain which takes considerable time to work through (Strelan, 2010). It is very difficult to move past any type of pain. When couples find themselves in a place that the pain seems to not go away then it may be time for interventions such as Forgiveness interventions to support the couple’s effort in relieving the relationship of the hurt and allow it to heal and for them move forward.
Elements covered in this graduate student’s first critique of Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Anger, Mood, and Vulnerability to Substance Use Among Inpatient Substance-Dependent Clients (Lin, Mack, Enright, Krahn, and Baskin, 2004) encompassed a compendium of its subject matter along with an evaluation of its first three components (e.g., abstract, literature review and research hypothesis). In its sequel, an analysis of the study’s participants along with an inspection of its procedure and instrumentation was offered. Within the third and final segment of this critique however, readers will find: (1) a scrutinization of
The article discusses how not choosing to forgive can hinder people from fully recovering. Brief therapy says that it is natural and okay for a person to feel anger toward an abuser but instead of teaching the benefits of forgiveness and letting go of the resentment, brief therapy does not allow the opportunity for reflection and understanding of what happened and why it may have happened. It does not allow the opportunity to find meaning in the suffering of the abuse, and when we can’t find meaning in something we can’t accept it and move on. Brief therapy causes people to dwell more on their anger, making it almost impossible to improve the negative outcomes of the abuse.
“Forgiveness, assert Fincham and his colleagues, can help restore more benevolent and cooperative goals to relationships” Everett L. Worthington, Jr.(2004). New Science of Forgiveness.
Every choice that an abused woman considers to do with regards in seeking help or ending the relationship involves a variety of risks. Time and time again, the common question arises, “why doesn’t she just leave?” Most often abused women, at great and potentially fatal risk, do leave their abusive relationships. However, there is a multitude of barriers, including increasing abuse and the potential for re-victimization by the system that does not respond accordingly, and most often force many women to return to their abusers. A woman may become vulnerable as she goes through the stages of leaving her abuser. There are many reasons why a woman becomes vulnerable; guilt, denial, and fear may be among a few reasons, though no matter what the
The cycle of abuse starts when an individual is abused and then the perpetrator feels regret. The guilt leads the perpetrator to ask for forgiveness and engages in positive behavior towards the victim. The victim does not leave the abuse because he/she “perceives few options and feels anxious terminating the relationship with the abusive partner, feels hopes for the relationship at the contriteness of the abuser and does not call the police or file charges.” In addition, after the victim forgives the perpetrator the couples experiences a honeymoon stage. During the honeymoon, stage the victim is optimistic about the relationship’s nonabusive future. After the honeymoon
According to Warshaw, Sullivan & Rivera (2013) notable traumas female victims of domestic violence often suffer from are those of significant mental health distress. Warshaw, Sullivan & Rivera (2013) do acknowledge the severe consequences of physical trauma including nonconsensual marital rape, but assert that it is the psychological experiences of these traumas (shock, chronic stress, terror, confusion, isolation and despair) that can prolong a survivor’s post-traumatic stress (Kubany 2008) and inhibit the ‘growth’ or ‘healing’ process. The experiences of trauma associated with domestic violence can also vary from short-term to long-term and depending on how prolonged the trauma is, a survivor’s recovery could take years; but when taking into account the word ‘recovery’ it is tremendously important to realise that every survivor will grieve for their own trauma and losses differently
Forgiveness is significant to a client because it helps to get relief psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually. "Before getting into forgiveness in counseling, there are concepts that are related to it and should be analyzed (McMinn, 1996)". Forgiveness is viewed in three perspectives which include opposition, technique, or an obligation. These perspectives included in counseling are a healthy method for forgiving.
interventions that are being utilized are effective when it comes to forgiveness. In the early case
This client was Christian and from my estimation now looking back was just beginning their walk with Christ and not on the same maturity level that I was at that time in my walk with Christ. At that time I knew how forgiveness first and foremost is obedience to God, and secondly how it can set you free from so many emotional problems, McMinn said, “Forgiveness, in its theological and spiritual context, is profound, life-giving, and transforming. When we remove the religious context and think of forgiveness only as a clinical technique, we risk losing the essence of forgiveness.” (2011, p. 254) After reading this chapter it made me re-live an area in which I was not fully equipped to help client maneuver their way through. This particular chapter has allowed me to see how vital forgiveness is in a therapeutic session, and how it must be used carefully. It is made me aware of how important my Christianity is to forgiveness, but also to assess the level my client is currently on before beginning a session on forgiveness. Reflection
As I was reading the chapter on forgiveness in Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian Counseling by McMinn (2011), the personal life experience that jumped out to me was when I had to make the decision to truly forgive my ex-boyfriend and his parents for the emotional pain they caused me. After living in New Jersey for a month and spending time with my boyfriend and his family, working, and taking care of an elderly lady with dementia my world came crashing down on me. My ex-boyfriend’s parents discovered sin in his life and told me I could no longer pursue a relationship with him because of the sins he had committed. After finding out the sinful things my ex-boyfriend had done, I chose to forgive him. I also chose to give him a second chance at a relationship with me, but my effort to salvage our relationship was futile.
Domestic violence is a very important social problem that we must educate ourselves on because it has such a profound and negative effect on the individual(s) being abused. They are affected mentally, emotionally, physically, and I know from experience that the scars can run very deep. Being in an abusive relationship for three years was devastating to my self-image as a teenager, and because of these feelings of inadequacy, my decreasing esteem allowed me to stay in such a dangerous scenario. Healing from the negative effects of that relationship has been a difficult journey for me, and I can only imagine how much more difficult it must be for women abused for years on end. To this day, I struggle greatly with the ability to let go of my own "control"