Journal Entries: Visualization and Personal Affirmation

The weather cleared up and me, along with my entire class and teachers, got to enjoy a beautiful ceremony. Lining up we started to proceed out to the football stadium from the gymnasium, my mind would not stop thinking. I just could not stop remembering what it took for me to get to this day. The stress that I endured studying for the SAT, filling out my applications and most importantly, perfecting my essay. The idea that I was not going to be living in this beautiful town I have spent my life in, brought a flood of emotions. Thoughts of my friends not being by my side next year made me feel as if I was sinking into a deep hole; this place, this town has had so much to offer to me. The past two years that I had spent in this place were the most emotional and exciting times of my life. I knew even though I was not going to be waking up in my familiar place anymore, I would be waking up in what was to become my new familiar place. I knew that even though my friends would not physically be there with me every day, that they would be there when I called them. If it were not for all of the people I have met along the way, I do not think I would have ended up where I am today. It just is a common thought for whenever I get sad about everything ending, I remind myself that there is a new beginning coming and it is going to be amazing. The place that I have spent my whole life

The campus itself felt comparable to the size of a town. A brief feeling of excitement was overtaken by apprehension. I had never lived on my own before, I was in a new state, and my parents were much further away than a walk down the hallway. These were some of the thoughts that filled my mind at the time. Before they left to head home, we had an exceedingly long and emotional conversation over dinner. They handed me a photo of us all which had a note on the backside. The note summarized their level of confidence, proudness, and despite forthcoming complications, they will always be there for their son. Tears of love ran down each of our faces as we said

On the evening of June 5, 2015, it was the day of my graduation at Our Lady of Refuge Catholic School. I was somewhat nervous, but yet confident and proud of myself that I made it this far in my academic career, and to graduate was a bittersweet moment in my life. The sweet part was that I graduated and I was about to start a new chapter in my life which was high school! However, I didn't want to leave the school because everybody at that school was like a part of my family. When that day finally came, I was ready to enter in the Church with my class to begin the ceremony.

On the morning of my fifth grade graduation, I was chosen by my teacher to read a speech in front of everyone at graduation. Which included the fifth grade classes, faculty and staff, and most importantly, families of the graduates. I immediately felt my stomach turn upside down. Me being the person I was at the time, I have never talked or read about something at such a very large crowd or event. Also with being in my teacher's class, I was very shy and wouldn't really talk with anyone. So figuring out why she would pick me to talk to a large crowd of people totally shocked me.

As the music started, I felt a sense of satisfaction that our service represented years of hard work, and our team was worthy to be measured by a representative of our local esteemed seminary. We transitioned into the Welcome, and as I quickly worked the room, I made sure I hit the area near the Professor, wanting to make sure she experienced the genuine kindness and love that characterizes our congregation. It was in that area of the room that I gave a quick hug to our dysfunctional former member, hoping she would see she was still loved and respected. I also smelled my new friend before he came up behind me, turning quickly to give him a handshake and a big smile, knowing he would find out soon enough I was the Pastor. Back at my seat, I settled back into my hermeneutical, homiletical checklist. Was I going to make the correct impression on our Professor that represented what we were about at Park Lake? Was I ready and prepared for this moment?

I am writing this journal for you so that you will always know our heritage and where you ancestors came from. We may be United States citizens but our culture and homeland is elsewhere. Somewhere I am hoping you will one day visit. Here is a little bit of history about our dear homeland. The island of Puerto Rico (formerly Porto Rico) is the most easterly of the Greater Antilles group of the West Indies island chain. Located more than a thousand miles southeast of Miami, Puerto Rico is bounded on the north by the Atlantic Ocean, on the east by the Virgin Passage (which separates it from the Virgin Islands), on the south by the Caribbean Sea, and on the west by the Mona Passage (which separates it from the

I was getting closer and closer. Not a bird in sight, not even a single cloud. The moon was starting to shine as the sun was descending from the cerulean sky. Drivers were getting closer and closer to their destination, so was I. I took one more footstep where my mind flashes back four years back. It was a warm atmosphere, although it wasn’t my desire to start somewhere fresh. I walked into my first class, two girls came up to me, and secured that I had a nice first day. After my first, class I go into a classroom, which wasn’t what I all expected. It all seemed so historic and antique. It really emphasized his passion. He was teaching something, that I had already learned. He was asking the whole class what the regions of the United States

One evening, I pulled up to the lot of Faiss Middle School, the facility I’ve been attending for the past nearly three years. Some familiar and unknown peers emerged from cars neighboring my mom’s Honda. Each pupil manifested impeccable formal wear; as all of us settled into the reserved seating, the ceremony began. I recall being escorted to the stand to receive my Presidential Award, and despite my mom being the sole family present, I beamed with pride that night.

Since I have been a student of a small private school my whole life, experiencing this event with such a large group of talented people from around the country was intimidating at first. In fact, the sheer number of people attending this event outnumbered that of my K-12 school! However, I soon realized that I could use this opportunity to challenge myself to do things that I would not normally do. For instance, when the time came for a person in our group to introduce a keynote speaker, my hand was the first (and only) one that went up. Rather than standing on the sidelines, I found myself meeting the challenge by introducing the speaker in front of the whole

Sitting at a crowded table surrounded by my friends roaring with laughter, I gazed out at the ocean. The glaring sun burned on my skin, and I was exhausted from spending the day at the boardwalk of the Jersey Shore. My stomach was growling, and all I could think of was how badly I wanted food. All of a sudden, the aroma of melting mozzarella and fresh tomatoes hit me like a train. I could hardly wait. The waitress soon came over and left the pizza on our table. I wanted to begin eating at that second, but first I had to take a picture of this beautiful creation.

I proceeded to walk down the aisle slowly becoming aware of the acrobats doing summersaults in my stomach. With such great prestige I heard the announcer’s voice, “Gerdwine Bourdeau.” Still in displacement of what had just occurred, rivers of joy rushed down my face. In quick pursuit, I shook President Welsh’s hand, turned my cheek and gleamed a smile towards the camera. In an instant flash the proudest moment of my life quickly became a realization. As of August 2016 I would be a graduate student of East Stroudsburg University. All the tears of joy and stressful nights would eventually become memories I tap into over lunch with a group of alumni friends. The ceremony quickly came to an end. Myself as well as hundreds of students rushed in search of their families. I had become overwhelmed in the confusion to only hear a lonely voice over the crowd shout in creole “Gerdwine, Gerdwine!” Moments later I stood in front of my first love, my parents. They gazed with admiration and joy, as I stared into their eyes and seen hard working immigrants from Haiti. Raising seven children wasn’t always easy, they worked day in and day out hiking 12 flights of stairs in a Brooklyn apartment building. All to make sure their children received an education that they were unable to obtain.

The night of graduation we all lined up the same way we did at practice, ABC order, as I walked out I felt so rewarded that I was able to make it to my high school graduation. We all sat in a huge gym surrounded by our loves ones, Black and gold caps and gowns filled the room. I waited anxiously for my name to be called; with my last name starting with a W I was pretty much at the end. I walked up and across the stage, shook their hand as I received my diploma and smiled for a picture. As I walked back to my seat I feel my eyes start to water because I felt so proud of myself that I made it to this point after years of hard work. I look around once I’m seated and see how happy everyone is. Next year everyone will be going their separate ways, starting college and making new friends. The ceremony ends with a bunch of smiles, some tears and caps being thrown up in the air while everyone is clapping for

Graduation day arrived and I had butterflies out of this world. It seemed as if I misplaced everything. I could not find my dress. My family came from one state to another. I finally got to the church were the commencement was going to be held. I

I knew they were thinking “Our little girl is all grown up now.” Arriving to the ceremony staff members separated up into groups, we knew the moment had finally come. We all got into single file line and entered into the stadium and were seated in our seats. The ceremony started and row by row our names were being called. It was my rows turn to walk up to the podium. As I was walking my nerves began to kick in and my best friend turned around and said “ Aujanee we did it!” I looked at her with a smile and said “ I know!” as I watched her walk across the stage I knew I was next and then I went. “ Aujanee Unique Gotell-Askew” said I principal, and with the brightest smile I walked up and received my diploma.

Stepping upon a simple stage was the best thing I could have ever done. Overseeing the multitude that was there to witness my every word, every tremble, every emotion, and every heart beat, was then that I realized that the sentiment was real. It was essentially the end of time and I could not bear to hold back what I no intentions of doing. Cry. Tears of joy darted down my face as I walked across the stage and received my ultimate gift. With fancy inscription, my gift was entitled “Class of 2009”. I had just graduated.