Julie Laake: An Abusive Mother

Crash! I was on the ground. I clutched my knee in pain. My parents taught me how to deal with problems presented to me, including pain. That injury changed my perspective on my parents knowledge.

My maternal aunt gathered us together and we all sat on the couch. She turned to my mother and told us she had cancer. I looked at my aunt and I did not know what to say or how to respond. Three months later, my father received a phone call from his sister telling him that my pregnant cousin, Elizabeth, was diagnosed with leukemia and had to give birth to her premature baby. She and I grew up in the same house in Arizona and what hurt me the most was not being able to be with her during this difficult time. When we went to visit her in Arizona, my dad told us before entering the hospital room that he did not want us to cry in front of her. I was scared to enter. I did not know what to say to her but I knew I had to be strong. We stayed there for the holiday season but we never celebrated the holidays, that was too

That day when I returned home from school, my mom’s boyfriend called me asking to speak to my grandmother. Typically, Gus would call my grandmother himself if he wanted to speak with her, which was rare. I found out about my mom going to the hospital from my grandmother after that phone call. The doctor told my family that a stroke afflicted her in the middle of the day. My mom confused the date with her birthday, had trouble getting words out and remembering our family member’s names. The nurse had to take her for walks periodically and exercise her legs and arms because they were weak. Seeing my mother in this condition made me appreciate my mother and everything she does for me tremendously. However, I was terrified for my mother’s health.

I was awaken by my mothers frantic crying. Immediatly I broke down because I already knew what that meant. My grandpa was no longer living. We rushed to hospice were his cold lifeless body was still laying in the hospital bed. Walking into that room was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. The moment we stepped into the door our family members were all circled around the hospital bed and all that was heard was weeping and crying. My mother was clearly affected the most by his death because she was the definition of a daddy’s girl. When she saw him laying there she instantly brroke down and rushed to his bedside and began talking to him as if he was alive. I remember her repeadtly saying “ I love you Wedaddy”. The look on my mothers face broke my heart. She had always been the light in a dark room. She was always the person that found a way to put a smile on everyones face. I had never seen her like this and it frightened me. Looking at my garndpa lay there lifeless and realizing I would never be able to get one of his famous hugs hurt

My bus was extremely empty since most of the injured were drumline members, the other section on my bus. I was there when the drumline captain had to call one kid’s dad in Texas to let him know his child was one of the severely injured. We couldn’t even tell the dad what hospital his son was in or what his injuries were, all we knew was that last we saw him, he was crushed under a two foot thick slab of concrete. After a long bus ride back to school, I drove myself home. When I got home and saw my dad I broke down crying.

I fondly remember my horrible crash as well. I crashed because I was riding at my bikes top speed through a tunnel and what I did not know was that there was a sharp left turn at the end of the tunnel that I did not know of. Therefore, I continued straight and right into a hillside off the side of a three foot ledge. The bike flipped on top of me as I fell and crushed me. My lips and cheeks were bleeding slightly, the visor on my helmet was knocked off somewhere, and I was in tears. It was a very good thing I was wearing proper riding gear. Despite the crash we continued riding on for another hour or so. The next day turned to disaster. It started fine but it quickly got worse; it started with a very close call involving a cliff. We were all riding when I fell off my bike and they continued ahead without me. While I struggled and succeeded to get the bike off me and start it, my father and his friend nearly went off of a cliff a turn ahead. Even though that disaster was avoided we had another problem; my father’s bike broke down. My father’s friend and I rode all the way back to the truck and drove it all the way back to where he broke

When my dad was around 25 he lost his mom to cancer. It hit him really hard. It couldn't of came at a harder because he had a baby on the way. He knew that he had to stay positive for his family and his sister. His sister was the most devastated of them

It happened when I was young. I was outside at my friend’s house sledding. We were taking a break when I got that phone call from my mom; she was crying. My sister was on her way to the emergency room. I started sprinting through the neighborhood towards my house. My dad was waiting with my brother in the car. My mom went with my sister in the ambulance. I was so scared that I was going to lose my sister. We got to the hospital and we were in the waiting room. It felt like days before we heard about her condition. My sister had pneumonia and mixed with her asthma she was having a hard time breathing. She had a severe attack and couldn’t breathe. If the crew from the ambulance didn’t show up the doctor said she wouldn’t have made it. I know

The first loss that I remember in 1982, when I was four years old. I actually had my fifth birthday while I was in the hospital. I broke my left elbow, while riding a bicycle with my cousin. He had just learned to ride a two wheeler with no training wheels. His bike had a banana seat on it and he asked me to go for a ride with him. While riding along the edge of the yard he hit a rock and we tipped over into a field that had been plowed up the Fall before. I landed just right on my left arm and broke my elbow just below the bend. I ended up being in traction for two weeks, flat on my back. I lost my ability to walk and had to build my muscles up once I was able to get out of bed. This was a tangible loss in my life, because I lost my ability to walk or move for two weeks.

The Emotionally Abuse Woman by Beverly Engel, a therapist with sixteen years of experience and a victim of emotional abuse herself, is a book geared towards women who are involved with friends, family members, bosses or any one significant in their life who is emotionally abuse towards them. Her goal of those reading who are also in emotional abusive relationships is to share her knowledge and experience of others to educate the abused woman, leaving her with skills on how to cope, move on and avoid future abusive relationships.

In spring of 2002, my father-n-law had a stroke. At the time, we were not sure if he would survive the incident, however, in hindsight, it may have been better that he did not, but he did and the aftermath was a hard consequence.

One day when I was about 8 years old I wanted to learn how to barrel race. So my uncle decided to teach me how. I was pretty small so he allowed me to use his short horse. The first day went pretty well I got on and me and my cousin went for a little ride to warm up. When it was mine turn to go around the barrels we started at a walk. Everything was going great until I pulled at her mouth to hard and she reared up. I fell off and when she turned to run away she kind of stepped on me and broke my arm. It didn’t hurt at firsts but when it did I balled into tears. So I was takin to the emergency room and they had to give me a cast, it was blue and hard like a brick.

When I was five years old I found out my sister, who at the time was two years old, was diagnosed with Cancer. This was a challenge for my entire family.

At the beginning of my freshman year my great grandmother had a stroke while at home. This stroke left her unable to walk, talk or eat on her own. After recovering in the hospital

Losing my grandmother was one of the worst things that have happened to me. When she died, I knew my life had changed. I watched her take her last breath in the hospital and it was very heartbreaking. She was like my second mom because she was always with me. I didn’t think it would come so soon. Dealing with her death was one of the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do. It was very hard because it was my second experience of losing someone very close to me around the same time of the year. I had to learn how to cope with losing her. I let all my emotions out, I didn’t listen to what anyone was saying, and I had to remember to take care of myself. Losing my grandmother changed me because she did everything for me. I had to grow up and be more responsible. I had to learn how