Kerr And Bowen's Collapse

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Kerr and Bowen (1988) got my attention with the description of, “An event or more likely a series of events, can disturb the balance of a relationship system and trigger symptoms. The event may be the addition of something new that has to be dealt with or the loss of something old that relied on” (p. 265). This brings more clarity to the collapse of my first marriage and gives an answer to the “why now” question that has often been asked. We were together for ten years prior to our marriage and then married for another ten years. While the situation was always filled with anxiety, I could not come to terms with what was the determining factor that caused the “symptoms” to go so far that our relationship ended. Although we had survived for
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