Kerr And Bowen's Collapse

Variables such as abuse, illness, death, and financial issues all factor into crumbling marriages; “irreconcilable

Sadly, not all marriages have good endings. This could be caused by several reasons, such as falling out of love, neglect, or lack of communication. The latter is the main cause of the short story A Young Man’s Folly by Susan Michalicka. The story revolves around a modern family, where a boy tries to deal with the loss of his father leaving him. Michalicka conveys the message of: “Sometimes when you’re chasing something, you lose sight of what is really important” very well through the use of conflict, characterization and symbolism.

For example, the Kendall states that divorce, teen pregnancy, domestic abuse and family violence will cause these transitions to take place causing changes to occur. Family violence includes child abuse, spousal abuse and elder abuse. This type of abuse can be Domestic and or Physical. Divorce is a very dramatic change that also restructures the whole family and according to the author most divorces are blamed on irreconcilable differences meaning husband and wife could not reach an understand or fix their problems. (Kendall, 2014) Finances are still the main cause of divorce in the US. Divorce can sometimes be very positive, like in my case it was actually the best thing that ever happen to me because I was able to get out of a very toxic relationship and achieve personal growth in a way I could've never done if I were still married. As much of a change divorce can be so is remarriage, especially when you are blending two families together with kids can be a challenge for the two spouses but not impossible. It is a big change, however it can be very

“’Yes, but how often the happiness of marriages founded on reason crumbles to dust because the very passion that was disregarded makes itself felt later.’ said Vronsky. ‘But by “marriages founded on reason”, we mean marriages between those who have both passed through that madness. It’s like scarlet fever: one has to get it over.’” (125)

In the 1970’s, divorce was relatively uncommon and difficult to happen. There needed to be adultery, abandonment, cruelty, intoxication or some other reason that made it necessary to end the marriage (“Why”). In today’s society, divorce happens every ten to thirteen seconds. Men and women fall in love, get married, and start a family. They make a vow to stay together forever and love each other unconditionally. However, not all marriages make it that far. Divorce occurs for multiple reasons such as financial problems, abuse, addictions, infidelity (cheating), and lack of communication. These factors, along with many others, not only affect the parents, but the children are affected as well.

It is estimated that 20 percent of individuals in Australia will be affected by mental illness at any stage in their life. Previous research attained, highlights that mental illness is twice as common in individuals whom are single than individuals in which are married (Stoddart, 1926). Marriage can generate an essence of identity and contribute to one’s self-worth (Gove et al. 1990). However, marriage can be stressful, specifically to those that are generally more vulnerable to stressors and therefore can eventually lead to the individual becoming more predisposed to developing a mental illness than others. Depression is noted as one of the frequently occurring psychiatric disorders. Depressive symptoms can significantly affect changes in marital status due to the sensitivity and reactiveness predisposed by the symptoms. England & Farkas (1986) found that women appeared to show more emotional investment in their marriage. A study by Gonzalez and Koestner (2006) showed gender differences regarding one’s expression towards romantic emotions, in individuals married or in current relationships. The participants analyzed content of 300 valentine announcements, in which love, praise, commitment and fidelity were the emotions addressed. The study concluded that women emphasized love and fidelity; whilst men emphasized praise and commitment significantly more. Further, research has shown that greater distress was possessed by married women compared to married men, which may be as

A later study was done on two couples in which the female partner had survived breast cancer. The findings supported the results reported in the first study, that the couple that was able to resolve their differences and experienced improvement in their relationship satisfaction was the couple that shared with each other more emotional experiencing and more affiliative behaviors. The variable of the health crisis had no bearing on the outcome of the improvement between the partners. In both healthy couples and those facing chronic illness, there was a commonality that the couple that improved shared more emotional and empathic exchanges in therapy

Bowen’s theory consists of a system of eight interlocking states that describe the inevitable chronic emotional anxiety present in family relationships and concludes that chronic anxiety is the source of family dysfunction.

Dr. John Gottman, studying how wedded couple communicates, devised a system where he can prophesize if romantic partners will divorce or if they will remain married. With the discovery of a balance of negative and positive interactions, Dr. Gottman formulated a ratio of five positive interactions to one negative interaction that conceivably foretells a couples' satisfaction. Through his research, Dr. Gottman also composed a list of negative interactions that collectively cultivate a marriage's demise, deemed the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” (ClaytonKG, 2010, Jennings, 2010)

This research paper evaluates the Bowen Family Systems Theory and its impact on the practices of Marriage and Family Counseling. Dr. Murray Bowen is credited with being one of the founders of family systems theory. This paper will discuss the eight concepts which Bowen deemed causes anxiety within the family system. Also, the goals and practices which have been utilized by professionals within the psychology field relation to the Bowen Family Systems Theory. Analysis provides that anxiety is passed along through the family system by the triangle concept and when families are dysfunctional there are several outcomes based upon the concepts developed by Dr. Bowen. The therapeutic structure which is developed by Bowen allows clients to help themselves and lower levels of anxiety over time.

Gurman, A. S. (2008). Clinical handbook of couple therapy (4th ed.). New York, NY: Guilford Press.

Love is what makes us creative, or it can also nail us to pain. If we pay attention we will see that Failed Romance can show our blind spot, our well-hidden trauma. Right there, instead of getting into a new Romantic commitment, we should stop and think what made the relationship collapsed?

Traumatic bonding may be categorized in Bowlby’s attachment theory as anxious-ambivalent, as the abusers in traumatic bonding intermittently abuse their victims rather than consistently. This hypothesis states that abusers do hold some attachment to their victims, contrary to their actions. The separation process induces anxiety, despair, and prolonged or extreme emotions, including anger (Sable 1992). So, the abuse in a traumatic bond could stem from a psychological and physiological deformation in the understanding of what is considered a healthy bond. The abuser may believe his or her actions are the only way to show the victim love. Likewise, the victim may believe the actions are performed because love exists in the

Conflicts which lead to unresolved issues can influence the quality of the marriage. Although several research was made on marital relationships, the factors which influence the arising of continuous conflicts are still not clear. Unresolved issues are problems which are continuously brought up in a marriage. However, marital conflicts are not the only source of unresolved issues in a relationship. Unresolved conflicts within the marriage can affect the longevity and quality of the marriage, but personal background and individual trauma contribute to marital problems more often than conflicts within the marriage. In fact, marital conflicts are usually started because of personal unresolved issues. If a person develops a behavioral property

Relationship satisfaction is an important part of romantic relationships. A lack of satisfaction can lead to consequences in other areas of life and eventually, the destruction of the relationship. For example, job performance is heavily influenced by romantic relationship satisfaction. In a study by Greenhaus and Beutell (1985), they argued that poor satisfaction leads to poor job performance and vice versa. They stated this was to because these two spheres are “interdependent.” Satisfaction can also influence quality of health. Conflict in a marital relationship is associated with higher heart rates and blood pressure (Broadwell & Light, 1999; Ewart, Taylor, Kaemer & Agras, 1991; Flor, Breitenstein, Birbaumer & Furst 1995; Frankish & Linden, 1996; Kiecolt-Glaser, 1993; Mayne, O’Leary, McCrady, Contrada & Labouvie, 1997; Morell & Apple, 1990; Shwartz, Slater & Birchler, 1994; Thomsen & Gilbert, 1998). It is also strongly associated with depression and depressed syndromes (Beach, Fincham & Katz, 1998; Fincham & Beach, 1999). This relationship between marital conflict and depression seems to be bidirectional meaning depression is not only a result of conflict but also is caused by the conflict (Beach, et. al., 1998; Fincham & Beach, 1999). Because a lack of relationship satisfaction can negatively affect so many important areas of life, it is important to understand what influences the level of satisfaction held in romantic relationships.