In the 1970’s, divorce was relatively uncommon and difficult to happen. There needed to be adultery, abandonment, cruelty, intoxication or some other reason that made it necessary to end the marriage (“Why”). In today’s society, divorce happens every ten to thirteen seconds. Men and women fall in love, get married, and start a family. They make a vow to stay together forever and love each other unconditionally. However, not all marriages make it that far. Divorce occurs for multiple reasons such as financial problems, abuse, addictions, infidelity (cheating), and lack of communication. These factors, along with many others, not only affect the parents, but the children are affected as well.
Love is what makes us creative, or it can also nail us to pain. If we pay attention we will see that Failed Romance can show our blind spot, our well-hidden trauma. Right there, instead of getting into a new Romantic commitment, we should stop and think what made the relationship collapsed?
Relationship satisfaction is an important part of romantic relationships. A lack of satisfaction can lead to consequences in other areas of life and eventually, the destruction of the relationship. For example, job performance is heavily influenced by romantic relationship satisfaction. In a study by Greenhaus and Beutell (1985), they argued that poor satisfaction leads to poor job performance and vice versa. They stated this was to because these two spheres are “interdependent.” Satisfaction can also influence quality of health. Conflict in a marital relationship is associated with higher heart rates and blood pressure (Broadwell & Light, 1999; Ewart, Taylor, Kaemer & Agras, 1991; Flor, Breitenstein, Birbaumer & Furst 1995; Frankish & Linden, 1996; Kiecolt-Glaser, 1993; Mayne, O’Leary, McCrady, Contrada & Labouvie, 1997; Morell & Apple, 1990; Shwartz, Slater & Birchler, 1994; Thomsen & Gilbert, 1998). It is also strongly associated with depression and depressed syndromes (Beach, Fincham & Katz, 1998; Fincham & Beach, 1999). This relationship between marital conflict and depression seems to be bidirectional meaning depression is not only a result of conflict but also is caused by the conflict (Beach, et. al., 1998; Fincham & Beach, 1999). Because a lack of relationship satisfaction can negatively affect so many important areas of life, it is important to understand what influences the level of satisfaction held in romantic relationships.
For example, the Kendall states that divorce, teen pregnancy, domestic abuse and family violence will cause these transitions to take place causing changes to occur. Family violence includes child abuse, spousal abuse and elder abuse. This type of abuse can be Domestic and or Physical. Divorce is a very dramatic change that also restructures the whole family and according to the author most divorces are blamed on irreconcilable differences meaning husband and wife could not reach an understand or fix their problems. (Kendall, 2014) Finances are still the main cause of divorce in the US. Divorce can sometimes be very positive, like in my case it was actually the best thing that ever happen to me because I was able to get out of a very toxic relationship and achieve personal growth in a way I could've never done if I were still married. As much of a change divorce can be so is remarriage, especially when you are blending two families together with kids can be a challenge for the two spouses but not impossible. It is a big change, however it can be very
“’Yes, but how often the happiness of marriages founded on reason crumbles to dust because the very passion that was disregarded makes itself felt later.’ said Vronsky. ‘But by “marriages founded on reason”, we mean marriages between those who have both passed through that madness. It’s like scarlet fever: one has to get it over.’” (125)
This research paper evaluates the Bowen Family Systems Theory and its impact on the practices of Marriage and Family Counseling. Dr. Murray Bowen is credited with being one of the founders of family systems theory. This paper will discuss the eight concepts which Bowen deemed causes anxiety within the family system. Also, the goals and practices which have been utilized by professionals within the psychology field relation to the Bowen Family Systems Theory. Analysis provides that anxiety is passed along through the family system by the triangle concept and when families are dysfunctional there are several outcomes based upon the concepts developed by Dr. Bowen. The therapeutic structure which is developed by Bowen allows clients to help themselves and lower levels of anxiety over time.
Traumatic bonding may be categorized in Bowlby’s attachment theory as anxious-ambivalent, as the abusers in traumatic bonding intermittently abuse their victims rather than consistently. This hypothesis states that abusers do hold some attachment to their victims, contrary to their actions. The separation process induces anxiety, despair, and prolonged or extreme emotions, including anger (Sable 1992). So, the abuse in a traumatic bond could stem from a psychological and physiological deformation in the understanding of what is considered a healthy bond. The abuser may believe his or her actions are the only way to show the victim love. Likewise, the victim may believe the actions are performed because love exists in the
A later study was done on two couples in which the female partner had survived breast cancer. The findings supported the results reported in the first study, that the couple that was able to resolve their differences and experienced improvement in their relationship satisfaction was the couple that shared with each other more emotional experiencing and more affiliative behaviors. The variable of the health crisis had no bearing on the outcome of the improvement between the partners. In both healthy couples and those facing chronic illness, there was a commonality that the couple that improved shared more emotional and empathic exchanges in therapy
It is estimated that 20 percent of individuals in Australia will be affected by mental illness at any stage in their life. Previous research attained, highlights that mental illness is twice as common in individuals whom are single than individuals in which are married (Stoddart, 1926). Marriage can generate an essence of identity and contribute to one’s self-worth (Gove et al. 1990). However, marriage can be stressful, specifically to those that are generally more vulnerable to stressors and therefore can eventually lead to the individual becoming more predisposed to developing a mental illness than others. Depression is noted as one of the frequently occurring psychiatric disorders. Depressive symptoms can significantly affect changes in marital status due to the sensitivity and reactiveness predisposed by the symptoms. England & Farkas (1986) found that women appeared to show more emotional investment in their marriage. A study by Gonzalez and Koestner (2006) showed gender differences regarding one’s expression towards romantic emotions, in individuals married or in current relationships. The participants analyzed content of 300 valentine announcements, in which love, praise, commitment and fidelity were the emotions addressed. The study concluded that women emphasized love and fidelity; whilst men emphasized praise and commitment significantly more. Further, research has shown that greater distress was possessed by married women compared to married men, which may be as
Ultimately, mental illness in marriage creates isolation and drives a wedge
The expectation of excelling in our tasks wore us down and made us think we couldn’t be whatever we wanted, we could just be ourselves. The stress and pressure got to be too much, and in turn, hurt our relationship with one of the most important people in our lives. The relationship became coarse, and we both helped cause it to be that way.
Bowen’s theory consists of a system of eight interlocking states that describe the inevitable chronic emotional anxiety present in family relationships and concludes that chronic anxiety is the source of family dysfunction.
Megan Colon is a 27 year old recently married female who agreed to participate in a series of psychological tests for academic purposes. The client reported feeling depressed about her parent’s divorce and her husband’s deployment. She reports that she is feeling sad about her parent’s divorce, and this has resulted in a lack of energy. She states that she is having a hard time adjusting to her parent’s divorce and she tries to avoid talking about the issue. She states that her husband is in the military and will be going on leave soon. She reports there have been marital problems from her husband’s deployment and her parent’s divorce has impacted her marriage. She claims that issues with communication and the lack of emotional support have
Dr. John Gottman, studying how wedded couple communicates, devised a system where he can prophesize if romantic partners will divorce or if they will remain married. With the discovery of a balance of negative and positive interactions, Dr. Gottman formulated a ratio of five positive interactions to one negative interaction that conceivably foretells a couples' satisfaction. Through his research, Dr. Gottman also composed a list of negative interactions that collectively cultivate a marriage's demise, deemed the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse,” (ClaytonKG, 2010, Jennings, 2010)