Kipnis Against Love

The Lais of Marie de France are a collection of poems that tell enchanting stories of handsome knights, kings, queens, and romance. Although the lais varied in content; love is the common theme in each of the lais. Since, love is the center theme of the lais it is important to define the term. According to the article, The Social Psychology of Love and Attraction romantic love is defined as, “a love that is supposed to stand the test of time, enduring all hardship. Romantic love emphasizes being in love with a certain individual” (Braxton-Davis 1). In the lais Marie de France, their a conflict between love, marriage, and moral responsibility.

Love isn’t easy. Love is such a disarrayed and varied topic that even scientists are unable to completely define the word. IND AFF, by Fay Weldon, is a short story about a woman falling out of love. The story demonstrates a comparison and contrast between the impulsive, violent actions of Gavrilo Princip and the heartfelt impulsiveness of the main character. In both situations both characters suffer for their beliefs. IND AFF proves that not all love is virtuous.

On the other hand, Laura Kipnis, who is a professor of media studies at North Western University, and the writer of “Against Love”, questions the essential stereotype of the love with mutuality. Kipnis argues that ordinary concepts of the love can make bad effects such as deficiency of emotional affection, character, and personality. Both

Ever wondered how love can bring you happiness and pain and make you sane and crazy at the same time. How this emotion can change you and make you accept things you are not used to. How this emotion can overpower you in many ways in which you did not know existed. In Lancelot by Chretien de Troyes, the power of love is a commanding driving force that can dominate a person’s mind, body, and soul and one who is courageous enough to love sometimes undergoes serious consequences. Consequences that are driven from the power of love that harm and cause hardship to the one who is determined to seek love.

This element serves as a conflict device for many lovers who are pure of heart but separated by one’s prior vows to someone who doesn’t have the capacity for true love and in romance, this device allows protagonists to overcome obstacles in the form of a spouse. Love serves as the spark that causes the desire to be free of one’s own uncaring or loathsome spouse to become something tangible and action-worthy for characters. In certain instances however, infidelity is also a device which allows for impure or devious characters to receive their just punishment sufficiently. Infidelity in situations where there is a satisfactory marriage where there is true care for a spouse, adultery becomes something that can instead be punished in the name of nobility and

As an expression of two people, love can be an overwhelming state of being with intertwining emotions. In “Against Love”, Laura Kipnis argues over the fact that those who experience love are overworking themselves with the chore of a relationship. She views the idea of coupledom to be that of beyond reasonable expectations of desire and emotion which sooner or later fall flat. Kipnis tells of how togetherness is said to seek out two different souls close as one. Whereas in her reality, cutting off all other possibilities for romance to achieve this deep connection with someone, has a numbing pain to it that is not entirely worthwhile.

Laura Kipnis first sparked controversy when her essay, “Against Love”, was published in The New York Times in October 2001. Her debatable arguments about love and relationships oppose the popular and traditional views on these topics. Kipnis stresses the idea that “We moderns are beings yearning to be filled, yearning to be overtaken by love’s mysterious power,” (Kipnis 805). She believes that humans yearn to have companions that satisfy their needs and that love is “infinitely malleable,” (Kipnis 801) which explains why she believes marriages are bound to fail from the beginning. Kipnis’ overall essay generally describes marriages and relationships as unpredictable and unsuccessful. In TC Boyle’s story, “Carnal Knowledge,” the relationship between the narrator, Jim, and his animal rights activist girlfriend, Alena, goes against Kipnis’ views on relationships. Their relationship contradicts Kipnis’ views on obedience, domesticity, and mutuality while also being debatable as to if the love is expressed by both sides. Jim’s feelings towards Alena are consistently optimistic while Alena’s have a questionable motive, especially once Rolfe is introduced towards the end of the story. Throughout TC Boyle’s story, “Carnal Knowledge,” the narrator, Jim, is in a relationship based on infatuation; a concept that stresses the question of what is love and how does Kipnis view the idea of infatuation?

The ultimate fairytale of human life is love; it is the world’s greatest mystery. No one knows exactly why we fall in love, but we know that when we do, we are hooked. Love is so powerful that it consumes a person’s very being like a drug. A time has never existed when humanity was not accompanied by love. In fact, such common themes have persisted through centuries, namely through Shakespeare’s Hamlet, in which a young man and woman are tormented by their love.

Love is like an antique vase, it is delicate and must be handled with care. If love is not handled with the proper caution and not taken care of properly, this may result in a crack or it may slip out of one’s hand causing it to shatter. Once the vase shattered, this exposes what it is on the inside whether it is bad or good. The theme of love should be used with caution, ties into “Trifles,” “Story of an Hour,” and “My Wicked Wicked Ways.” All of the stories mentioned above have the common denominator of love can be a beautiful thing, but if not cared for the right way it exposes us to the darkness on the inside. This paper will the discussing the theme and symbolism.

The first thirty-two lines of the poem rhetorically ridicule love, looking at it practically and using strong educated language to describe lovers'

Perhaps the most beautiful thing about humans is that emotions and thought seem to go hand in hand. One either distances or comforts the other. When together, these two things can create a mirror into human nature, or shatter what people see in themselves for another. The stability of the heart is something precarious and not fully understood, but it is through works as “The Broken Heart” by John Donne that we can see this stability; understanding it and seeing it in ourselves for what it truly is. Works like Donne’s poem use varied imagery to put into words many of the feelings people experience when in Love; feelings often shunned or ignored because they baffle any who try and understand them. But his clear words, each giving a stage for Love’s form and character, clarify these sentiments; and in that way, the words convey Donne’s own attitude towards the nature of Love, and our nature to Love.

“Against Love”, by Kathrine Philips, is a poem that was written in sixteen forty eight. “Against love” is based on rejection of love. There is a high price when it comes to love and there is no need for it, if it ends up being destructive. The speaker makes it indistinct that there is no need to get caught up in love and person can live their life content without being in love. There are countless thoughts that come to mind about the poem “Against Love”. The development, the history, and the person that put it together used many devices that has given this poem strength to last many centuries later. Love is not perfect, even if the picture is painted perfectly.

Many love poems are not actually about love; rather they are the objectification of a woman into a vessel for desire. John Donne’s poem ‘To His Mistress Going to Bed’1 appears on the surface to be a poem celebrating the beauty of the female body and the joys of sex. However it is through a closer reading that we see that this poem is in fact not celebrating the woman at all, rather she becomes an object through which the speaker can achieve his desire. By looking at Slavoj Žižek’s essay ‘Courtly Love, or, Woman as

The achievement of an interpersonal mature union between two people can never be reached through pseudo-love relationships, yet that does not mean that in a capitalist society rational love cannot be experienced and lived by those modern citizens to don’t follow the herd. In the second part of the book titled, “The Theory of Love”, within The Art of Loving, Fromm explains that love is an activity, an activity of giving, rather than receiving. The act of giving is “the highest expression of potency” therefore giving is an expression of one’s aliveness (Fromm, 23). The productive character, unlike the modern citizen, when he offers rational love, in return, he receives love without having to ask or negotiate for it; because in rational love “giving means receiving” (Fromm, 25). In addition to the act of giving, love will always include five basic elements common to all forms of rational love, that includes, caring, responsibility, respect, and knowledge. To love rationally, one must be concerned and caring of the loved one’s life and development as an individual. The persistence of caring is necessary in order to love. As a result of one’s active involvement in the life of the other person, with whom he forms a mature union, a new aspect of love needs to be introduced: that of responsibility. Fromm specifies that responsibility acted in a mature love relationship is not a kind of duty that is imposed by external factors, rather it is a voluntary act of being ready and able to

In her comparison of effort in relationships to work in a factory, Kipnis develops a strong criticism of the development of the modern attitude toward fixing the loss of love or desire. Its instilled in the minds of those in society that when something, like a relationship or sex, is not working, it is because the people involved are not working hard enough. However, while working harder may get one a better grade in a chemistry class or a faster time in a cross-country race, this approach cannot be applied to a situation involving intimacy. Some parts of life simply do not work, or stop working, and there is no amount of “plugging away” that one can do to change that reality. The importance of this metaphor and what it is criticizing is the message it is sending which calls the reader to recognize that one cannot fix everything. This belief in being able to solve all problems by simply trying a little harder is naïve and arrogant. And while one can maintain that effort is an important part of a relationship, the problem being addressed is the belief that one can work to make themselves love or desire someone. These aspects of a relationship are supposed to come naturally, and- Kipnis argues- leave naturally too. If sex or love feels like work,