Lack Of A Marriage For Children

In “Unmarried with Children” Edin and Kefalas interviewed 162 low-income mothers in inner city Philadelphia. The 5-year interviews lasted throughout the beginnings of the mother’s intimate relationships, pregnancy, birth, and post-birth. The interviewee’s were expected to provide an answer to why they choose to have children while still young and unmarried, even when they know it will be difficult to support them. Edin and Kefalas learned that poor people greatly value marriage. They insist on marrying up and preventing their relationships from ending in divorce.

     Moreover, the essential idea of marriage is that to create a healthy relationship that there must be a bond of love as well as maintaining their own identities. The converging of two individuals cause tension and usually end up in conflict. When two parents disagree either one of them gets hurt or a child feels it is their fault and responsibility.

Marriage is oftentimes praised for all its good qualities, but people tend to avoid discussing the downsides of marriage in order to avoid discomfort. Confronting the problems that many couples face in marriage is hard, and most people find it easier to simply overlook any issues they may face to avoid furthering the problem. In “My Problem With Her Anger,” Eric Bartels elaborates on the struggles he and his wife face and what experiencing the effects of spousal anger feels like from a husband’s perspective. Through emotional appeal and anecdotes, Bartels semi-successfully argues that husbands are too often, and unfairly, on the receiving end of their wives’ anger and stress.

Does your marriage still felicity as same as your dating time with your wife? Most of people’s love is affected by children, work and stress after married. Therefore, more and more family was broken, only 30% people get happy marriage. In essay “Masters of Love” by Emily Esfahani Smith, She introduced two kinds of couples that is the masters and the disasters. The masters were still happily together after six years, but the disasters were broken up or had really bad marriages. Those people who are masters all have a same characteristic that is they understand how to use kindness to manage their marriage, so I extent Smith’s claim “Kindness makes each partner feel cared for, understood, and validated---feel loved.”

In the article “The Myth of Co-Parenting: How It Was Supposed to Be. How It Was.,” author Hope Edelman claims her husband does not put forth effort in their marriage. Edelman discusses the difficulties of parenting with a spouse who is seldom present and her misconception of marriage. In the article “My Problem With Her Anger,” author Eric Bartels claims his wife is angry with him all the time regardless of what he contributes to their family. Bartels discusses how the effort he puts forth in his marriage goes unappreciated and how he thinks his wife’s anger is negatively affecting their marriage. Bartels and Edelman both believe they entered marriage with unrealistic views resulting in dissatisfaction of marriage however, Edelman

Television psychologists and pop culture self-help gurus tell us that marriage is hard work; marriage is compromise; marriage is a choice between being right, and being happy. All of these statements are true. What these experts don’t tell us, however, is that marriage is also about putting on blinders, or looking on the bright side, or one of a hundred other trite phrases to explain the art of self-deception. In marriage, there are times when we may find it necessary to look the other way from our spouse’s faults or indiscretions, in the interest of self-preservation. For if we examine these problems too closely, our darkest, most secret fears may come true. Therefore, it can seem easier to focus on the positive. In her poem “Surprise,” Jane Kenyon uses denial, selective perception, and fear of betrayal to illustrate the self-deception that can occur in marriage.

“’Yes, but how often the happiness of marriages founded on reason crumbles to dust because the very passion that was disregarded makes itself felt later.’ said Vronsky. ‘But by “marriages founded on reason”, we mean marriages between those who have both passed through that madness. It’s like scarlet fever: one has to get it over.’” (125)

Divorce is a heavy concept that has many implications for those involved. The situation becomes even more consequential when children are considered. As divorce has become more commonplace in society, millions of children are affected by the separation of the nuclear family. How far-reaching are these effects? And is there a time when divorce is beneficial to the lives of the children? This paper will examine some of the major research and several different perspectives regarding the outcomes of divorce for the children involved, and whether it can actually be in the best interest of the kids.

Unsatisfied with their partners results in divorce rates and infidelity. These have increased over the years, blemishing the institution of marriage. People may believe that compromises and self sacrifice in a marriage make it a failed institute but the same reasons make a marriage successful. A married man has a constant in his life- his partner. The security and companionship in the relationship helps him achieve happiness. The same sharing is now a pleasure, a way to prevent loneliness (Argyle; 1999). Marriage is known to cause greater satisfaction, greater self esteem and less distress. Evidence shows that married men and women are happier.

Divorce is becoming all too popular in our society today. When a couple experience tough times or have one too many arguments, they automatically think divorce. Despite its prevalence couples are not prepared for it’s long, drawn out, hurtful process. Divorce does not only hurt the individuals involved, it also affects the children tremendously. While many people don’t think divorce is a bad thing. Hollywood makes divorce look cool and uneventful. When in all reality, it is disruptive. Some people would say that divorce is a lazy way out of a marriage; the cowardly thing to do when a situation presents itself. Divorce is not the only answer to marital problems, in most cases.

My wife and I are very complementary with each other. I have always been the type that if no one is going to see the way my bedroom looks then why make the bed if it is just going to be messed up in a few hours anyways. The same thought goes towards the kids playing with toys, I see no reason to walk behind them and clean up for them to just get them right back out. It makes more sense to me to just wait until they go to bed and clean the mess up then. My wife is the complete opposite. She wakes up every morning and makes the bed before leaving for work. As the

Relating to each other is not a technique we're born with. It's like a muscle that needs to be developed over time—and massaged when it hurts.

Sometimes divorce may be the only way to solve the various problems a family may have.

What I did notice was that my husband was not affectionate at all. He rarely even hugged me without being asked. When I tried to talk to him about this, he told me that I was being too sensitive and expected too much of him. I had never been married before and at first I thought that I was at fault but I gradually realized that things weren’t right.

Many families try to mask and conceal any problems that may be arising throughout their marriage. Many spouses stay together for either the children, or the convenience. A marriage that is lacking in love is a disaster waiting to happen. If the love and respect is gone out of a marriage, and there is no way of fixing it, then end it. People think that staying in a marriage for the children benefits the children. In all reality, it does not. No child wants to walk on egg shells every day from the tension between their mother and father.