Leslie Bell Individualism

The first chapter opened my eyes to diverse topics about human sexuality in general. My generation has sex almost emotionlessly because of the hookup scene that surrounds us in society. But we have sex until one of the partners has an orgasm. “Our concept of sex has become so male-defined that the single orgasm has become the gold standard for women’s sexual response, and orgasm is often considered “optional” despite many women’s ability have multiple orgasms (Chalker 23).” This concept of sex seems to be

What is even stranger is that women fully enforce this sexual double standard. Over 99% of woman agree that women enjoy sex as much as men do, yet when asked to describe a woman who has had many sexual partners, over 59% percent of women used words that fell under the negatively connotative ‘Promiscuous’ category, using words like “slut,” “cheap,” “loose,” “whore,” “easy,” and “dirty.” Twelve percent of women even used words that would suggest that sexually liberal woman are psychologically damaged, using words like “insecure,” “lonely,” “desperate,” “needy,” and ‘unfulfilled.” Only 8% of women tagged a sexually liberal woman in the more positive category of “sexually focused,” the respondents feeling that “these women were uncommitted and focused on sex rather than the relationship” (Milhausen and Herold). In addition, “Women were more likely to discourage a female friend from dating a highly experienced male that a male friend from dating a highly experienced female” (Milhausen and Herold). This fact furthers the case for women’s involvement in maintaining the double standard. In a one study researchers found that “Women will endorse a sexual double standard in which women are judged more

From this, Kelly concludes that these elements “offer only the perception of freedom” (72). Hookup culture places a burden upon students. The sexist nature of this culture puts women at a disadvantage; and this can be extremely harmful in developmental years.

Ira L. Reiss, a well-known sociologist, has contributed greatly to the field of human sexuality and in the 1960’s brilliantly predicted the revolutionary changes in sexual attitudes. In his novel, An End to Shame: Shaping Our Next Sexual Revolution, Reiss develops the notion that our previous sexual revolution did not adequately eliminate the inequalities related to sexuality. In reality he argues that America is in need of a newly formed sexual revolution, one that will address the negative consequences that our sex negative culture is experiencing. A significant portion of our population argues that these consequences are due to the fact that we talk too much and too soon about sex. This is an inaccurate view of the reasoning behind the sexual problems we are experiencing in America, as in reality the negative sexual outcomes we observe are due to the opposite of this view. This misconception is a common explanation for our sexual problems and many believe it is the key to solving our sexual crisis, but in reality is part of the problem. Reiss argues that “America is long overdue for a rendezvous with sexual reality” (18) and that the future of our nation depends on accepting these realities.

Throughout the book, Bogle places particular attention to gender differences. Supporting Bogle’s findings, there is still a double standard for men and women. Participation in the hookup scene is risky for women, while men have few, if any risks. Women who behave too “sexually” in the hookup culture have to recognize that there are repercussions. These repercussions include damaged reputations, being labeled, and being ostracized by peers. Women can get labeled, damage their reputations, or ostracized by having too many partners, hooking up with two guys that know each other well, dressing in a seductive manner, constantly hanging around a fraternity house, or drinking too much.

In the book, Slut!—Growing up Female with a Bad Reputation by Leora Tanenbaum, she collects a multitude of testimonies from women who have been subjected to sexual harassment, physical abuse, rape, incest and slut-bashing from all ethnicities and locations around the globe. One astonishing truth approaches you at the beginning of the book. Tanenbaum enters a table that shows the positives and negatives of being a sexually active man and a sexually active woman, unfortunately the truth is absolutely ludicrous. The table states a total of two positives of being a sexually active woman; hot and sexy. On the contrary, it states three negatives for sexually active men, compared to the twenty-eight negatives for sexually active women. This list consists of names from “slut” and “Jezebel” all the way to “prostitute.”

During the early 1800s into the nineteenth century it was believed that men and women came from two separate spheres. These spheres influenced the way gender roles were shaped and perceived. Suggesting that women belonged in the household, apart of the private sphere and men belonged in the economic world, apart of the public sphere. Men and women were understood to be polar opposites and because of this, women were oppressed. Female sexuality was defined as “passionlessness,” and only for the purpose of reproduction. We learn that women were considered “voracious” for expressing their sexuality however, men were encouraged to express their sexuality as part of maintaining power, prestige, and masculinity. (Cott, 1978, 222). Men

The women author Leslie Bell interviews in Selections from Hard to Get: Twenty-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom share their stories of how they found sexual freedom by not submitting to their environments beliefs. Bell describes to the reader the quandaries of these women who decided to reject the principles of their society and how they chose to deal with the tension it causes. Society leads people to the decisions they choose, which is why it causes conflict between its codes and the concept of individualism. In reaction to this conflict, each of Bell’s patients, mentioned in the passage, acted defensively in a way they felt was best to achieve their own freedom.

Leslie Bell’s “Twenty-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom” encompasses the ambiguity experienced by several women in their quest to find answers as to how to have proper sexual relations in their twenties. Ambiguity, very simply, is uncertainty. Bell’s patients experience this indecision in the lives of women in their “ in-between period of early adulthood” (26). Bell, a psychoanalyst, hones in on culture and environment to better understand the lives of these selected women. The ambiguity experienced by these twenty-something women has triggered disappointment in relation to their parent’s wishes and an unfulfilled answer to each woman’s identity.

Attitudes towards different issues in society are adopted depending on the prevailing beliefs in such a society. Every trending issue in a society helps shape the attitudes that people develop and greatly influences their behavior. There is no question that every society has a prejudged perception and possible reaction to any event that may occur within the realm of the society. This prejudgment and reaction is often informed by the various experiences that the society may have undergone through in the earlier instances of occurrence of specific events. Leslie Bell, the author of “Selections from Hard to Get: Twenty-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom,” largely focuses on female sexuality detailing the often confusing situations

Sexuality has long been a key concern of feminists and egalitarians. Most notably, they have long insisted that female sexuality is no different than male sexuality and that a woman should have the exact same right to choose not to marry, and instead engage in casual sex while pursuing a rewarding career that will secure her a (supposedly) much better future than the lifestyles of past generations of women afforded them. What has long been a major proponent of patriarchal societies is the inhibition on female sexuality. The “double standard” in sexuality is to

This article was about females’ sexual arousal and masculinity- femininity. It began by stating that it doesn’t matter what the female’s partner’s sex is, they can be sexually aroused by both genders. Their sexual arousal is dependent on other factors such as the context, social, or culture. Because of this, there can be more variability among females’ sexual orientation, attraction, or arousal.

Hamilton and Armstrong conducted a long term ethnography on a group of college women throughout their college years, assessing and analyzing their sexual experiences. The main objective of this study is how gender and class shape sexuality for young college students. The authors mention that the women in the studied found hookups problematic as men were able to hookup without negative criticism while women would be called ‘sluts’. Therefore, the fear of the ‘slut stigma’ constrained a majority of these women’s sexual behaviors. The author mentions that many of the women wanted to have intercourse but waited until they had boyfriends in order to prevent getting called a ‘slut’. Furthermore, the sexual double standard legitimized negative treatment

The reason I am writing this paper is to share the information I attained about human sexuality by learning about sexuality in a college setting and by exploring my sexuality through personal experiences. I do not consider myself to have experienced much exposure to sexual behavior but I do have a cultural bias to what I consider a heavy amount of exposure because the North American culture is considered more promiscuous and sexually active than other cultures.

emphasizes that although reality is constructed by our social interactions, our perceived reality, including those of a sexual nature are not the same for everyone. It is critical that a situation is defined by the establishment of relevant identities of those involved in the interaction. It is this construction that involves