Leslie Bennetts A Mother's Day Kiss-Off

1.) Overall main topic of this book connects between the issue of motherhood and feminism. One major key point I found while reading this book is the author, Amber Kinser explains the growth and progress of the role of mothers in the american society meaning how the roles have changed overtime. A major theme of Kinser’s book is that the public debates may focus on mothering, but the issues affect us all.  Cutting back on health care for women, on education, and on jobs for teachers, social workers and others in the service sector have their greatest impact on mothers, but they affect all of us. Motherhood becomes a symbol for how men and women, single and married, gay and straight, deal with the need for individual options and the need to act for the good of others.

The modern day woman works outside of the home, but then returns and continues to take care of housework and the children. Sociologists refer to this part of the woman’s day as the, “Second shift.” Two studies conducted found that if a man is more economically dependent on his wife, he is less likely to do housework. However, no evidence suggests that becoming economically independent makes marriage any less desirable for a woman. The family is the initial agent of socialization in their child’s life, however, even though the mother of the family may have the job with longer hours and better pay, the parents will still reinforce traditional gender roles in their household (Thompson 301-302.) This behavior can cause a child to embrace the stereotype that the woman’s only role is to cook, clean, and take care of the children. Even if a woman is the primary

In her interviews with woman she was sure to interview very well educated women and those that strived for mere perfection. One thing is that the men in the lives of these women were not supportive and not mentioned of much. The men and society of today have placed a lot of responsibility on a woman’s shoulders when it comes to the child. It is the woman who makes the decision or is given the task to make the heavy decisions regarding the child’s future. Because of this many women choose to stay at home to be sure that the children will receive everything that they deserve and that they are not lacking in any area. Another issue that she reviews is that employers do not work with moms at all. For example she talked about the scenario where two moms brought a solution to their problem to management yet it failed to receive approval instead one mother was offered more money (Guest, 2011). Employers are not very flexible when it comes to mothers and don’t provide the proper care that is needed for a child. Since men are the ones that don’t carry the responsibility of the child’s well-being having proper day care is not a factor for them. Then there is the cost of day care which is high and can at times not compare to what the individual is making.

The online website SavvyAuntie.com was created by Melanie Notkin to help and inspire childless women with caring for children they care about whether it is exchanging ideas, getting advice or finding gifts. Sara Hayden evaluated the website and addressed the concepts of momism, intensive mothering and constitutive rhetoric. There is little previous research on both intensive mothering and on childless women. Hayden’s thesis is that new momism and our culture as consumers promotes shallow communities and relationships that negatively impact the people that take part in them.

Is there a common attitude society has towards women, and their roles as mothers? Betty Rollin, American journalist, reporter, and author, believes there is. She calls it the motherhood myth. She writes about this subject in her essay, “Motherhood: Who Needs It?” The myth is the idea that all normal women want and need to become mothers (Rollin 286). Rollin believes this is false, and argues that there is no biological drive or instinct, that makes women want to become mothers. Society reinforces this myth into us, through many forms of propaganda. Rollin argues against the belief that women’s most important role in life is to become a wife, and mother. She calls for the freedom to choose, and explains that becoming a mother is not an

In the reading, “From the Second Shift: Working Parents and the Revolution at Home”, Hochschild explains her experience conducting a case study with a series of different women to get their perceptions of their lives as mothers, but also working women. Moreover, she provides good information to start her study. She reports that in 1950, 30 percent of American women were in the labor force, 28 percent of married women with children worked out of home. Today, those numbers have dramatically increased. During her findings, she saw that women felt a responsibility to be able to balance work and life at home, focused more on children, and expressing how overworked or tired they felt. Whereas men in this study expressed that women did most of the work around the house and childcare. In addition, what stood out to me in this reading was that some men felt pleased that their wives received more income than them. For instance, in an interview a man expressed, “was more pleased than threatened by her

Past researches either supported or opposed the perceived incompatibility between motherhood and employment (Pacaut et al, 2012). This study revealed an increase in work interruption among women who began working before having children. It also showed a big decline in the gap that separates women with children and those without. The study concluded that changing attitudes towards mothers' work did not appear to ease the balance of work and motherhood. These attitudes include the availability of daycare

The days of mom staying at home full-time are long gone for most families. More women are their family’s breadwinners than ever before. Heather Boushey in The New Breadwinners, states “Women are more likely to work outside the home and their earning are more important to their families well-being than ever before in our nation’s history” (31). In families today there’s no one staying at home in the day, so there no one there when kids come home from school with everyday life.

The survey found that it was still very rare for fathers to take primary responsibility for childcare in dual-earner families, no-earner families or families where only the woman worked, showing again inequality in conjugal roles. Therefore Ferri and Smiths findings disagree with the statement, showing inequality in conjugal roles. Many women agree with Ferri and Smith that it is they rather than their

In 1989 The Harvard Business Review published an article entitled “Management Women and the New Facts of Life.” This piece has been pointed to as the first shot fired in the mommy wars by many authors and commentators such as Barbra Hannah Grufferman, President of Best of Everything Media Inc. In her article, “Women, Work, and Babies: Will the ‘Mommy Wars’ Never End,” Grufferman contends the Harvard report to have been, “an invisible but contentious line that was drawn between women with families who worked and those who chose to stay home” (1). Yet one article could not keep the flame of debate burning nearly twenty-five years later. That fire has been steadily fanned and stoked by the media in its various forms.

Current media is an influencing factor of the pressure placed on western women to juggle the “double burdern”. “New media” as describe by writer Susan J. Douglas “is just as culpable as the “Old media” in perpetuating unrealistic cultural expectations about women, mothers and mothering” . The media portrays what J. Douglas refers as the “New Model Mom”, which describes the expectations of working mothers. The “New Model Mom” is athletically slender, always well groomed, smiling, always attentive to their husbands and has a perfectly balanced diet. This unrealistic image of the prefect mother is placing women with the sole responsibility of caring for the child, domestic duties and still being expected to return the workforce with no extra ask

One of the most traditional roles to be assumed as women, is to embrace the role of motherhood, but as of the 21st century, many women are deciding to do both, facing criticism for doing both or one of the either (The Glass Ceiling Effect*).

They argue that this media driven debate pins working mothers against stay-at-home mothers in order to “divert the dialogue away from the real issues such as affordable health care, quality childcare, gender and racial equality, fathers’ roles in parenting, media effects, fair wages and benefits, and family-friendly work arrangements” (204). They state that in this culture of mother-blame, mothers have been blamed for causing problems in regards to childhood development such as, “epilepsy, colitis, asthma, ulcers, arthritis, anorexia nervosa, and a multitude of more severe problems in children” (207). However, they argue that it is now “accepted that these disorders are in fact not caused by poor mothering…” (208). Another issue with the Mommy Wars debate is that it portrays a universal kind of woman – white, affluent, and heterosexual – ignoring the fact that there are many different kinds of mothers of all backgrounds, sexualities, and economic statuses – which can make those who are not reflected as the “average” mother, feel inadequate. The authors further argue that these messages that working mothers are harming their children are what discourage women from economic participation and achievement and can have a negative impact on a mother’s perception of herself - which in turn can affect her performance as a parent. It seems that the

When the word “mother” comes to mind, most people feel a sense of comfort and imagine a person who is giving, caring, and dependable. These may sounds like worthy qualities at first, but together they form a major source of oppression for any caregiving figure, and different feminist theories such as care-focused feminism, psychoanalytic feminism, and existentialist feminism all have something to say about it. Motherhood is certainly a necessary role in a family and even in society, but the social construction around this role has led to many different ideas about the way mothers and caregivers are treated versus how they should be treated. Motherhood is a source of oppression for women and in a patriarchal sex/gender system, it can be solved using a combination of educating children to how to be caring, using a dual-parenting method of care giving and trying to get women out of the home into the work force.

During this last century societal views towards women have drastically changed, from being looked at as a homemaker, to a businesswoman, to a mother, and now a working mother. One thing that hasn’t changed through the years is how women are critiqued for what they do and how they do it. If a woman takes care of the house she’s lazy and doesn't use her potential. If a women works in the office more than she’s at home she doesn’t connect with her family enough. The latest judgement women are facing: are working mothers better mothers. Today, women are being put against each other to be viewed as the “better mother” just by looking at their profession.