Loss Of Innocence In High School

It was morning of the first game in my high school varsity career. The coach had told me the day before that I was not just going to play varsity, but I was going to start for my team. I was exhilarated when I found out, but now as I put on my jersey, I felt the anxiety build up inside of me like a balloon about to burst any second. I put on the rest of my soccer equipment, placing the left sock on my foot before putting on the right one, a ritual I always

Junior year of high school I had reached my limits and had become clinically depressed. I had no interest in school, and I had considered quitting my schools cheerleading team. I felt alone and underwhelmed with where I had imagined my life was going to go. My dream was to become a state champion with cheerleading and to place in the top 10 at the National High School Cheerleading Championship, I had already made amends with the idea that it was an unreachable goal. I had completly given up. Ready to quit, one of my teammates had taken notice in my dismissive persona, she had also brought it to the attention of the rest of my team. They began to push me harder then they he'd ever pushed before. They helped me realize that I was great again.

That day when I returned home from school, my mom’s boyfriend called me asking to speak to my grandmother. Typically, Gus would call my grandmother himself if he wanted to speak with her, which was rare. I found out about my mom going to the hospital from my grandmother after that phone call. The doctor told my family that a stroke afflicted her in the middle of the day. My mom confused the date with her birthday, had trouble getting words out and remembering our family member’s names. The nurse had to take her for walks periodically and exercise her legs and arms because they were weak. Seeing my mother in this condition made me appreciate my mother and everything she does for me tremendously. However, I was terrified for my mother’s health.

September 13, 2014, it was my fourth official varsity soccer game as a freshman and I was starting. I was put on outside wing, defending one of the strongest seniors Horseheads High School had and I was nothing but confident and motivated. All of the sudden I hear a few pops and a crack and I was on the ground and was unable to move my right leg. Complete shock filled my body and I did not know how to react; my older sister and my coach flashed in front of my eyes and I could not comprehend what was happening. Later that week I was told I had torn my ACL and I would be out of soccer for approximately six months.

I felt my heart racing as I imagined making the top team in the club. I knew right then and there that I was going to try out for the team as soon as I discussed it with my parents. After my parents’ approval, I went to the first tryout with high expectations and aspirations. The tryout was going well at first; my skill was evident on the ice. I was making quick passes and skating hard. I will never forget the fateful pass that happened next. I remember the play in slow motion. I passed the puck through the center ice, a precarious move, but it was intercepted by the opposing team and as a result they scored a swift goal. Groans from the other players could be heard and my heart sank. That pass would determine my fate. After the tryout, I undressed slowly replaying the pass repeatedly in my head. Coach Ruben walked out of his office with the list of players who made the team in his hand. As he posted the list on the bulletin board, all the eager players ran over, examining the list of names. I stared at at the list for what seemed like an eternity searching for my name, but it was not there. I stifled my disappointment and followed my parents out to the car. To my ten year old self, my dreams were crushed and I assumed my hockey career was over before it even

My grandma was my superhero with her genial personality and her ability to give you her full, undivided attention in order to listen to whatever you had to say. It was always my dream to be able to share both my high school and college graduation with both my parents and grandma and being able to later pay them all back for all their sacrifices. Towards the beginning of my sixth-grade year my grandma became unexpectedly sick and as months passed her health slowly began to deteriorate until she fell into a vegetative comatose for the next four years. My grandma’s sudden illness came as an unexpected surprise which leads to my mom and her family having to take turns in order to care for my grandma throughout her extensive hospital visits and inhome medical care. Throughout those four years both my emotional and mental health took a hit as I tried my best to learn how to deal with her sudden illness and the fact that my mom was rarely home because she was either in the hospital or at my grandma’s house in order to help take care of

My freshman year I made the Varsity soccer team. Every practice I had to strive and work harder to be able to keep up with the upperclassmen skill level and talent. I was finally getting to where I wanted with consistent practice. I became a starter and the upperclassmen would pass me the ball more and help me on the field when there were opponents on me. It wasn’t until the middle of the season when everything changed. We were playing against a school who was very skilled and talented. It was in the first half of the game when one of the girls on the opposing team had the ball and was dribbling it down the field. It got past our midfield players and two defenders. I was the last one before it reached our goalie. I ran towards her and with everything I had I kicked the ball.

The following months a winter, cold and gloomy, surrounded the house. My grandmother came to stay with us since my father had fallen into depression and needed help taking care of my sister and I. When my grandmother went grocery shopping my sister would struggle with homework without my grandmother’s help. One day when my grandmother left to go grocery shopping my sister approached me, which was unusual of her since its very rare for her to come to me. Her dark brown hair and big eyes reminded me of my self when I was younger. “I’m hungry” she complained, a question she’s never asked me. My father sleeping and my grandmother away, I was the only one left to take care of her and that terrified me. I had never cared for or known how to care for someone else. All I knew was how to evaluate whether or not someone was caring for another correctly.

Last year, I had been one of three sophomores to make the varsity soccer team. I was proud to be part of the elite group and motivated by the opportunity to play with the upperclassman. The season kicked off with a promising start. Coach gave me encouraging feedback and significant playing time as he tried to determine my position on the field. Game after game, I kept earning more opportunities

September 14, 2007 became the best day of my life and the worst day of my life combined into one. During one of my high school soccer games, I had the realization that my passion for soccer could come to a screeching halt, not by choice, but by injury. Here is where that emotion filled day started. I worked so hard to earn my first starting game as a freshman goalkeeper, and on that cool autumn night, I finally got what I had been working hard for, that high school Varsity starting spot. Before every game, the announcer announced the starting lineup for each team in the stadium for all of the fans to hear. Hearing my name announced in my high school stadium for the first time felt like no feeling I have ever felt before. So much joy, anxiety,

Our school was never very good at sports and only about five girls would be cut. I was jittery the day that the varsity roster was to be posted; I wanted nothing more than to be part of the team. After classes ended, I walked to the athletic board, where the varsity roster would be posted. I anxiously scanned the list for my name. I scanned it again. As my eyes ran over the page a third time, my heart began to sink. I hadn’t made the team. I was one of five girls who were cut from the varsity team. In a daze, I went to practice. Instead of focusing like I usually did, I went through the motions. The five of us who made up the junior varsity team had a separate practice with the assistant coach. After the sting of failure finally faded, I began to work harder than before. I showed up early to practice and stayed late every day. Every weekend I spent at least two hours on the field practicing. I was determined to make the coaches regret putting me on the “JV” team. As the season ended, I didn’t stop working to become better. Any day that was not too cold, I could be found on the field. When spring came, I joined the soccer team, hoping to improve on my endurance and speed. Over the summer, I spent at least two hours every day running and practicing. When the field hockey season rolled back around, I was ready to show off my skills and make the varsity

I lived with my grandmother for the first half of my life. She practically raised me. Everyone in our village would talk about how much she spoiled me. She would go out of her way to get what I needed. One day I was playing with my friends, there was food in the house but I just wanted to eat snacks. I complained and whined about it until I got what I wanted she made my uncle go all the way into the city to buy me some snacks even though I could’ve just eaten what was in the house. She was a part of me. We had so much in common. My mom wasn't unable to raise me because she was living in America.

On January 5, 2009 my father pasted away. He and I did not have the typical father-son relationship; we did not have a relationship at all. I presumed that it would have a little if any affect on me. However, as the semester continued, it seemed to get worse. Besides my father’s passing, several weeks later my grandmother was diagnosed with dementia. It was difficult for me to deal with, but it was more difficult for my mother to handle.

June 11, 2015. It was a regular summer day, or so I thought. Only five days until my fifteenth birthday and I was super excited. My mom had taken the morning off from work to take my grandmother to the doctors. She was going for her regular heart check-up appointment. As we always did, my mother and I drove that morning over to the nursing home in St. Matthews, South Carolina. My mother had recently entered my grandmother into the nursing home because my mom needed to start working more and could not fulfill the obligations of taking care of my grandmother like she normally would. When we got to the nursing home, we parked the car under the awning which was in the front of the nursing and covered a little walkway where people loaded their family members. I got out first and headed back to the room as my mom followed closely behind. When I walked into the room, I saw my sweet loving grandmother sitting there. As always, my beautiful grandmother, with her white hair, her green eyes, her frail but beautiful skin, and her smile glistened as she awaited her day out. My grandmother did not get out much so even going to the doctors was a good day out for her. We helped her into her wheelchair, a normal struggle for my mother and I, and we rolled her down the hallway to the car. We loaded her into the car, another struggle, and we headed off to Orangeburg which was where the doctors office was. While riding to the doctor's office my grandmother mentioned that her hands looked green

I was steadily put into the hospital daycare at three years old while Toysha would be visiting my father, but at times he would end up being too sick for me to come visit, so my mother would take me to my grandmothers and she would have to take care of me. Eventually, Christopher’s cancer started to metastasize, and together my mother and father decided to make the decision to have me go live with my grandmother for the better. Christopher did not want me to be around to see him in that condition and my mother thought I would have a better way of living if I was not with them. The love that they had for each other allowed them to make rational decisions and sacrifices for the better of my life and