Love : A Triangular Theory Of Love

As stated in our text, various factors can bind married couples together, such as economic interdependencies, legal, social and moral constraints, relationship, and amongst other things. In the recent years some of these factors have diminished their strengths. The modern generation sees marriage in a different perspective altogether. Individuals today feel they are stable independently, they do not need to rely on their spouse for emotional or financial support. Many are career driven and soar to conquer their dreams over settling down with a family. Such untraditional views have increased divorce rates.

In “The Radical Idea of Marrying for Love.” Stephanie Coontz describes marriage as an “institution that brings together two people.” she shares the point that “marriage should be based on intense, profound love and a couple should maintain their ardor until death do them part” (p. 378).

The human idea of love is quite possibly the most misunderstood in today’s society. Love can be between a man and woman, mother/father and their kids, or even really good friends. However, these relationships of love go through many interactions and stages to start and progress. Many psychological events must occur and be worked through in order to be successful. All relationships must endure the five perspectives of human behavior. These perspectives are biological, learning, social and cultural, cognitive, and psychodynamic influences.

Stephanie Coontz is a sociologist who is interested in marriage and the change in its structure over the time-span as love became a main proponent of the relationship involved in marriages. In her article, “What 's Love Got to Do With It,” Coontz argues that the more love becomes a part of the equation the less stable the institution of marriage becomes. Marriage at one point was a social contract that bound two families together to increase their property and wealth as well as ally connections. Each party entered into the contract knowing their roles and if one partner failed to meet the expectations, they were still contractually obligated to one another and were not allowed to divorce. As love became part of the equation, each partner was less sure of their obligations and often chose to end their marriages if at all possible.

One could say that they become so close that they each become half of one heart. In the poem “Marriage of Many Years” by Dana Gioia, marriage is described as a way for two people to become closer than ever before. It is a process where the two mutually grow and share memories with one another. Through this process she says that her partner has become “a language I have learned by heart” (Gioia). By comparing their love to a language, shows how natural their relationship has become. Their love has allowed them to become one unit and understand each other like it is second nature. This contrasts greatly to how marriages used to work in the past. No longer are women expected to make changes for the man. Each partner makes changes to ensure that the other is content with the

Marriage, a lifelong commitment, can lead to misery if not taken seriously. “Somebody had to stay and care for the folks. There warn't ever anybody

1862 England (Victorian Era) was somewhat of an uptight society, especially compared to today. The majority of people, especially those in the upper class, were expected to be utmostly prim and proper and follow societal norms at all times. This included love, or what love was defined as during the period. George Meredith, in his poem aptly titled “Modern Love”, sets a scene where a husband and wife are sleeping side by side, both reflecting sorrowfully on their melancholy marriage. Meredith argues in this poem that the institution of modern love is inherently flawed, by exposing to the reader that while the husband and wife still care for each other, they want to leave each other because they are both scared of “modern love”. By doing so, Meredith is able to justify his overarching message that applies to all: love is a feeling that cannot be artificially replicated, and attempting to do so is only a detriment.

According to UCLA psychologists Thomas Bradbury and Benjamin Karney, who co-authored a study together, providing commitment within a marriage ensures that the couple would tackle their problems adequately (Wolpert, “Here is What Real Commitment to Your Marriage Means”). The study showed that more than seventy percent of married couples who had participated in their work remained married, while twenty percent divorced (Wolpert, “Here is What Real Commitment to Your Marriage Means”). When entering a romantic relationship, both individuals agree to commit to one another for as long as their unity lasts. Giving their full commitment within a marriage also establishes a long-lasting love. The poem “To His Coy Mistress” exhibits a great example of this, with its speaker assuring his romantic partner, “… While thy willing soul transpires / At every pore with instant fires / Now let us sport us while we may…” (Marvell, 602). The narrator promises his mistress that he would fully commit to their relationship, and their love would fight through “rough strife / thorough the iron gates of life” (Marvell, 602). Moreover, the speaker in the poem “Oxygen” states to his/her spouse: “… You are breathing / patiently; it is a beautiful sound… / And what does this have to do / with love, except everything?” (Oliver, 610). Despite not explicitly telling the reader, it is very clear that the narrator is willing to commit himself/herself fully into the relationship, and describes their love as an “invisible gift / our purest, sweetest necessity” (Oliver,

underpins marriage in many Western and some non-Western countries.” Scholars have continued to argue the success of monogamous relationships. Harville Hendrix (1990) explains that monogamy is a healing practice. Partners in monogamous relationships go through many stages and struggles as a committed couple. Through struggle, partners act as healers that help to work through each other’s suffering (Hendrix 1990). Hendrix (1990) believes individuals choose their partners to work through the pain together and help them grow through life. Monogamous marriage is a spiritual path to happiness and commitment between two individuals (Hendrix 1990). A committed relationship requires monogamy, and Hendrix (1990) contends that healthy and spiritual commitments encourage the sustainability of monogamous relationships. Although Hendrix (1990) contends that monogamy is an effective practice, research has largely built a case around the consequences of monogamous relationships.

Marriage is a true testament of ability to withstand a person’s overall being. A strong marriage is a marriage that incorporates not only love but also having the complete form of love, consummate love. According to A triangular theory of love, consummate love is having all three components of the triangle: passion, intimacy, and commitment (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124).

Love is said to be the greatest human experience in which mankind are privilege to partake in. To love can be a wondrous experience filling life with bliss and other strong emotions. Some people believe to love is to be alive and be able to see the good in the world and others. The purpose of this paper is to examine and find a better understanding of what is love, to explore what people believe love to be, and what lies surround the perception of love and to explore and expose what the meaning true love is or at the very least the authors understanding of the perception of love. In addition to exploring the concept, deception and the truth of love,

They are a continuous commitment which rely on constant maintenance, nurturing and assurances from each participant. Love relationship practices and investments are configured in experiences are shared in the past, present and in the future.

In the article “For Better, For Worse: Marriage Means Something Different Now,” Author Stephanie Coontz talks about “marriage is no longer the main way in which societies regulate sexuality and parenting or organize the division of labor between men and women”. Likewise, people have no longer traditional value, and Now they need love, mutual understanding and faithful person to live with. So, if a couple is not able to get all these requirements then a couple don’t stay in a relationship. Additionally, if a couple is married, but they don’t love each other threat they take divorce. Apparently, marriage is not all about love between a couple, but it is about connecting loved once and children both. However, there are different situations such

Throughout the last half of the century, our society has watched the divorce rate of married couples skyrocket to numbers previously not seen. Although their has been a slight decline in divorce rates, “half of first marriages still were expected to dissolve before death.” (Stacy, 15, 1991) Whatever happened to that meaningful exchange of words, “until death do us part,” uttered by the bride and groom to each other on their wedding day? What could have been the cause of such inflated divorce rates? Perhaps young married couples are not mature enough to be engaged in such a trremendous responsibility, or, maybe, the couples really do not know each other as well as they thought. Possibly, they have been blinded by infatuation rather than by

These constraints lead some cohabiting couples to marry, even though they would not have married under other circumstances. On the basis of this framework, Stanley, Rhoades, et al. (2006) argued that couples who are engaged prior to cohabitation, compared with those who are not, should report fewer problems and greater relationship stability following marriage, given that they already have made a major commitment to their partners. Several studies have provided evidence consistent with this hypothesis (Brown, 2004; Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2009).