Love In Love : My Love Of Love

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Love - a word which can make you or break you. Maybe my story isn't heart wrenching, but every story is special. For me, he's special.

A love story in which I could never find him beside me physically but I knew he’s with me. I could feel his presence. It’s been 11 months. 11 months of togetherness. 11 months with 11.000 times break up. 11 months of wait to see him, to just have a glance of him. 11 months of separation. 11 months of the long distance. 11 months of being in love with an Army Man.

It started amorously. We both didn’t want a lovey-dovey, nutty about each other or a typical nonu-shonu (that’s what he says) kind of relationship. It was a mature love. A kind of relationship which was more about loving, not being loved. I
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I don’t know what I should call this. His love or his prudence. His self-restraints were breaking me down. We hardly talked after that. He wanted me to be with him but he couldn’t put any effort. I used to cry myself to sleep. But he never came to wipe off the tears. I felt like maybe he doesn’t love me anymore. Maybe I am not good enough. He was my friend, my confidant, my comfort, my lover..... My safe place but he turned around.

I was losing all my hope. I was losing all my belief. I was losing my peace. I was letting him take me for granted. But I loved him. And I just couldn’t unlove him. No matter how hard I try. That was the most difficult part, to hold on to him or let him go. But still, there’s something … There’s something in the way he looks at me like I am his first glimpse of sunshine after a year of darkness. And in the way, he says my name, like it’s his favourite song playing all day long. There’s something in his eyes when I first see him in the morning like I don’t need coffee because he gives me all the energy I need. And in the way, he smiles at my mention, like I’m a question only he is lucky enough to know the answer to. There’s something about two people falling in love; a collection of delightful moments which makes us moving, which made me hold onto him.

Now I understood why people are falling out of love nowadays. Maybe they’re not prepared for the sacrifices, for the compromises, for the unapologetic behavior, for

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