Love and Marriage

Listening to your partner can save your marriage. If you and your partner have an agreement give each other time to cool down. It is important to fight constructively. There is no marriage free of conflict. Conflicts can and will arise from time to time it is to be expected. Conflict can stem from finances, children, and jobs. It is best not to point finger swat the other person. In your marriage you have to be

Marriage at this time was a way of securing a happy livelihood and relative

“Marriage and Love”, a short essay by Emma Goldman, gives a wonderful argument regarding love and marriage, in fact, she nails it. Marriage does not equal love or has anything nothing to do with it. Not only that, but the marriage could also easily kill whatever relationship was there prior to the declaration. Marriage is simply a social construct, one that imposes control by religion, tradition, and social opinion (Goldman 304). However, if marriage is such the ball and chain that we all joke about, then why do people get married?

When a couple has been together for at least forty years, one may ask them, how have you put up with one person for so long, or what is your secret to marriage? Unfortunately, a secret may not even exist, but learning how to deal with everyday relationship conflicts, maybe the answer to a lasting marriage. “Gottman and Declaire, discovered that couples have conflict over the same issues sixty-nine percent of the time” (1997) (pg.214) Gottman quotes “We need to teach couples that they will never solve most of their problems, and that couples need to” establish a dialogue” about the problems.”(1997) (pg.214) Validating, volatile, and conflict avoiding, are three approaches couples use, when resolving conflict. Gottman studies show how managing conflict could lead to lasting marriages. Communication practices are also important when trying to resolve conflict. Gottman’s Four Horseman of the Apocalypse are “four communication practices that have very negative outcomes for the particular interaction and for the relationship.”(pg.225) Conflicts are going to occur in every relationship, but learning how to communicate with one another is essential.

Coontz talks about the history behind marriage. People chose their partners based on “something as fragile and irrational as love” before they focus on their sexual, intimate, and altruistic desires. (p.378) Coontz points out that may cultures view marriage differently. Some cultures thought that

When you are in a relationship, arguments or disagreements can arise. They can often trigger strong emotions that lead to hurtful words and uneasiness. If these conflicts are not resolved in a healthy way, resentment and a dissolved relationship could follow. However, when they are resolved in a proper manner, it could promote growth between the couple and fortify the bonds of their relationship (Conflict Resolution Skills).

Stephanie Coontz is a sociologist who is interested in marriage and the change in its structure over the time-span as love became a main proponent of the relationship involved in marriages. In her article, “What 's Love Got to Do With It,” Coontz argues that the more love becomes a part of the equation the less stable the institution of marriage becomes. Marriage at one point was a social contract that bound two families together to increase their property and wealth as well as ally connections. Each party entered into the contract knowing their roles and if one partner failed to meet the expectations, they were still contractually obligated to one another and were not allowed to divorce. As love became part of the equation, each partner was less sure of their obligations and often chose to end their marriages if at all possible.

Conflict, confrontation, and problems are inevitable in human relationships. They will occur, like it or not, it is a part of life. The word of God reminds us in Luke 17:1 that offenses will diffidently come into our lives. However, we cannot allow them become trapped in our spirit because it will harm relationships with the offenders. For that reason, someone must take the initiative to address the breach in the relationship through effective confrontation. Again, to express the importance of resolving conflict and finding peace in relationships, the Lord declares in Psalms 133:1, 3 that he blesses those who dwell in unity. According to

The majority of people who join together with their significant other through the act of marriage hope and dream that marriage will surround them with infinite love and happiness; unfortunately that is not always the case. In fact, “according to data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2013 American Community Survey, 10 percent of Maine women and 11 percent of men in Maine are divorced.”1 Though 10 and 11 percent seem like fairly small percentages, 10 percent of Maine women is approximately 67,831 women, and 11 percent of Maine men is approximately 71,506 men, which truly are not small figures to take into consideration. Since marriages do not always have a happy ending

Love is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection. Although it is not as easily defined as some may make it. Every situation and the lessons we learn from those times, help to form what we believe love to be. For some it may be a physical attachment that others degrade to lust. For some it may be their reason for continuing on in life; but overall for most, love is what drives our lives. From childhood to adulthood we seek to find relationships that will fulfill our hearts and make our short time on Earth a little more enjoyable. However as well as any other activity we partake in, ways in which we perceive love and marriage have changed over time. Although there is slight variations, when most imagine the life of a married couple pure happiness is what is expected. As wonderful as that expectation may be, not every marriage fits into this ideal. The criteria of marriage used to be based off of what your partner can offer you. However as times have changed and gender roles have begun to disappear, marriage has now

Handling conflict is a skill which can be learned. It requires practice, discipline and self-control. In the midst of conflict, most people forget the overall goal in addressing the conflict: Having your partner understand your feelings and resolving the disagreement. The more a couple can keep this goal in mind the less likely either will engage in criticism, yelling or name-calling. These behaviors only fuel the conflict (Managing Conflict in Your Relationship,

Marriage has been a heated controversy for the past few years because people often marry for the wrong reasons. Anyone who thinks of an ideal marriage would think of two people loving each other and sharing a personal bond or goals together. Marriage is regularly defined as the legally or formally recognized union of two lovers as partners in a personal relationship. This definition remarks there is an actual connection between two people in marriage, but do people actually consider this when committing to “love” and “support” their partners forever? As research and studies have shown, people ultimately get married for many reasons, except love. This philosophy can be easily applied to the short poem, “Marriage” by Gregory Corso. In this emotional poem, the author argues marriage is more effectively understood or known for culture and convenience rather than through the abstract considerations of love. Here, we can identify people generally decide to marry for the incorrect reasons, for instance the story of the author himself. Corso finds himself confused multiple times, wondering if he should marry to not be lonely, for tradition and for his physical and mental health. He disregards love, a relationship or a connection with his future wife. General ways of convenience like loneliness, health and economic status between cultural stereotypes and religion are usually the true reasons of why people chose to have the commitment of marriage with another person.

A survey of 14000 adults states in ‘A Guide to Family Issues: The Marriage Advantage’ that marriage was a pertinent factor contributing to happiness and satisfaction with forty percent of the married individuals being happy as opposed to 25 percent of either single or cohabiting individuals. The same study shows that ninety eight percent of never married respondents wished to marry and out of those 88% believed that it should be a lifelong commitment. Even though, divorce rates are rising numerous researches show that young people aspire to have a lasting marriage.

Marriage is undeniably effective for some things such as procreation and rearing those produced children.Ê Biologically, all creatures need heterosexual union of some kind to continue their species, but this union need not be a required social construct.Ê In ancient and classical Greece, as well as in much of the world today, marriage is a social expectation.Ê Elders encourage young men to choose their even younger wives at the expected time and to create a respectable typical household.Ê But is marriage actually necessary or even what people desire?Ê Hellenic marriage seems to be constructed in such a way as to leave many Greeks unsatisfied and discontent.Ê Why else

Was anyone aware that forty to fifty percent or more of marriages will end in divorce (“Marriage and Divorce”)? It could be said that one of the largest contributing factors to that is how everyone does not really know what marriage is anymore. The entire Western Civilization is spending so much time trying to figure out what marriage means. They are letting their own marriages crumble. Is a marriage made to be between a man and a woman, or does a marriage really boil down to some form of gender roles? One way to try and decipher this mystery would be to look for the definition of the word itself. Marriage