Marked Woman Deborah Tannen Summary

Deborah Tannen and William Lutz both discuss the difficulty of communicating. Their point of views may be different, but their conclusion is the same. Men and women have difficulties of communicating. Not because the two genders want to be complicated but simply because we don’t realize how or what we’re doing when it’s happening.

In the article “Marked Women,” Deborah Tannen addresses how everything a woman does-from choosing her outfit, her makeup, her hair, to even her surname marks her a certain way. As a young woman, I liked this piece because it addressed issues women faced that I typically don’t think about. I chose to write about “Marked Women” instead of “Sexism in English” because I related more to the article with my past and current experiences on the different ways women are marked in society. Women are judged every day based upon their decisions on their outfits and looks. Tannen states in the article, “you couldn’t say the men didn’t wear makeup in the sense that you could say a woman didn’t wear makeup,” which made me realize how even something as

In the society we live today we surround ourselves with positivity and negativity. The stuff that is happening today are they getting better or worse? Based on the article “Taking a ‘War of Words’ Too Literally”, by Deborah Tannen, she defines the new norm of our society “the argument culture”. Tannen discusses her experiences and states that we are more confrontational and less open to others.

Deborah Tannen’s case study entitled “Can’t We Talk?” is the most relevant reading that I have ever done for any class. It relates to a problem that every person regardless of age, race or sex, will have to face many times in his or her lifetime. The problem is that men and women communicate differently and these differences can often lead to conflict. This case study is very informative because it helps to clarify the thought process of each sex. That said this reading leaves the reader somewhat unfulfilled because Tannen does not offer a solution to the problem.

In “Sex, Lies and Conversation” Deborah Tannen argues that the problems of men and women in marriage are caused by a misunderstanding rather than lack of communication. Throughout the passage she discusses theses misunderstandings and reveals the solution to the problem.

Tannen further explains, “There is no women’s hairstyle that can be called standard… if a women’s clothing is tight or revealing, it sends a message… women can’t even fill out a form without telling stories about themselves,” which further stresses her adamancy that women are inevitably susceptible to judgment without an opportunity to justify their intelligence, morality, or character. She even goes to the extent of explaining that judgment of a woman can be passed even before a physical impression is made! The seemingly unimportant yet evidently not so characteristic of the titles “Mrs.” “Ms.” “Miss” can hold their own inclinations of what the female that carries it is like. In “Just Walk” by Staples, his statements, “I grew accustomed, to but never comfortable with people who crossed to the other side of the street rather than pass me… If I happened to be entering a building behind some people who appear

Deborah Tannen’s essay “But What Do You Mean?” focuses on what she claims are differences between men and women when it comes to social interaction. The essay is sectioned into seven categories, in which she talks about how men and women tend to think and react when it comes to apologizing, criticizing, thanking, fighting, praising, complaining, and joking with others. In general, she seems to promote the idea that women tend to be more polite and refined, considering the feelings of others when conversing and taking everything as a formality. In contrast, men are apparently more blunt, taking a more direct approach with matters and being more unconcerned with how they may affect others. Women tend to automatically apologize and thank others

“Janie ties her hair up in the store un- der her husband’s orders so that other men will not touch her. Hair is a tool for sexual desirability across races and ethnic groups; however, the issue within the African community is that the “type” of hair that is often de- sired. However, hair is a marker of femininity, so to restrict or demean one’s hair is a direct attack on women’s being. This implies that when the hair is covered—as it had to be on the plantation or other places where African women existed, they were deemed less feminine and thus less womanly”

What does it mean to be a woman or man? Whether we a man or a woman, in today’s society it is not determined just by our sex organs. Our gender includes a complex mix of beliefs, behaviors, and characteristics. How do you act, talk, and behave like a woman or man? Are you feminine or masculine, both, or neither? These are questions that help us get to the core of our gender and gender identity. Gender identity is how we feel about and express our gender and gender roles: clothing, behavior, and personal appearance. It is a feeling that we have as early as age two or three. In the article, “Becoming Members of Society: Learning the Social Meaning of Gender,” the author, Aaron Devor, is trying to persuade his readers that gender shapes how we behave because of the expectation from us and relate to one another. He does this by using an educational approach, describing gender stereotypes, and making cultural references. He gets readers to reflect on how “Children’s developing concepts of themselves as individuals are necessarily bound up …to understand the expectations of the society which they are a part of” (389). Growing up, from being a child to an adult is where most of us try to find ourselves. We tend to struggle during this transition period, people around us tell us what to be and not to be, Jamaica Kincaidt in her short story, “Girl” tells just that, the setting is presented as a set of life instructions to a girl by her mother to live properly. The mother soberly

There is something subtle about attitudes toward women, something that many people act in accordance to but are only subconsciously aware of. It is the constant judgment that women face, and it is also something Deborah Tannen noticed while sitting in an ordinary meeting one day. During that meeting, she found herself noticing only the females of the room, not the men. Tannen then realized that it was because “The men’s styles were unmarked” (Tannen 389). While there are standard hairstyles and clothing for men, there are none for women. Everything that a woman wears is a reflection of who she is. In her piece titled There Is No Unmarked Woman, she writes about her experience and concludes that women cannot escape judgment no matter what they do.

Conversation is a ritual every person must encounter throughout their lives in order to function properly with one another in today’s society. However, every individual has a “different idea about what’s appropriate” when approaching someone in any sort of conversation; that is why we are referred to as individuals (Tannen 327). There are thousands of diverse languages to speak to one another with, in fact that means there are thousands of different ways to offend each other with our words. Within those languages there are several contrasting gestures that can offend any single person, such as the amount of times individuals apologize in one meeting, giving criticism too harshly, or thanking someone so often it does not seem genuine. In the article “What Do You Mean,” Deborah Tannen touches upon apologies, criticism, and thank yous in further detail to explain where individuals go wrong within conversation and how they can fix their actions. Individuals find it satisfying to please others by being polite because it is the ‘right’ thing to do, however like myself others need to stand up for themselves and get directly to the point now in order to avoid conflict later in life.

On average women spends $1,832.55 while men spend $691.52 on personal hygiene. In Deborah Tannen’s essay “There is no unmarked woman” Tannen states that it is inevitable for a women to be unmarked. Tannen assert that ways a women is marked include the makeup a woman wears, her clothes, and the amount of jewelry she has on. I agree with Tannen because women aren't able to fully express themselves like men due to the stamp society has placed on us.

In her essay, “There Is No Unmarked Woman”, Deborah Tannen takes a logic based analysis approach in examining subtle differences between men and women. Her purpose is simply to bring to light how women are unconsciously “marked” in every way. Tannen believes that women are hyper-criticised and that this leads to every decision a woman makes - from the way she dresses to if she takes her husband’s (assuming she is marrying a man) last name. While men are free to be unmarked, aka observed in less detail, women are inherently marked from when they are young.

There are several sources that tell a person how to be a man or woman. Science tells us by recognizing the X or Y chromosomes. The media shows us through the physically ideal celebrities that grace the covers of magazines and flaunt their bodies in commercials. Sports, wrestling, cars, and blue for the boys. Dresses, make-up, painted nails, and pink for the girls. All of these sources, as well as others, have evolved into an expectation that has become institutionalized within society. This expectation, is placement and belonging into the binary system of person: the man or the woman. In Anne Fausot-Sterling's acrticles “The Five Sexes” and the “The Five Sexes, Revisited”, the

Deborah Tannen is the author of Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other. Deborah Tannen is a woman who researches the relationships between men and women. She has not only conducted research but also has information to support her view. In her essay Deborah Tannen argues complications happen in marriages/relationships due to individuals not being able to communicate with each other properly.