Marriage And Marriage Benefits

People believe that marriage is easy and is the key to love and happiness, but in reality marriage is harder than it looks. Everyone marries for different reasons, for good or for bad. People today don’t understand the meaning of marriage; it is more than just money and appearance. Seeing today’s world of marriage is being influenced by media shows like Jerry Springer, Judge Judy, and Murray makes you realize how society today identifies marriage different. Couples who live unmarried will be happier and have more choices than those that are married in agreement with Catherine Newman’s essay called I Do. Not.: Why I Won’t Marry in the book “Acting Out Culture: Reading and Writing “, by: James S. Miller. Catherine Newman is a writer and an author

There comes a point in everyone’s life that this question or subject is brought up - “Are you dating anyone?” “When are you guys getting married?” When these questions are asked from family and friends, it pressures people into finding that special one. Even though, people do experience those desires and questions for themselves; does it make it right to feel that need? What is marriage? Is marriage a contract or love? What if marriage is not what people perceive it to be? What if marriage is not the happily ever after often seen in the movies? Laurie Essig and Lynn Owens are two scholars that wrote a piece entitled, What If Marriage Is Bad for Us? that contended the institution purpose of marriage is obsolete and in reality bad for society, and how marriage can lead to changed, unhealthy, and distressed.

Modern, contemporary society’s mindset on marriage has shifted considerably over the years. Some research has noted the increase in early sexual experiences, greater acceptance of cohabitation and the increase in narcissistic tendencies, are complicating and muddying the ideals of what marriage means to people today. Research done on this subject resulted in several studies that found that spouses who did not believe that marriage would last forever, were less likely to commit to the relationship financially and were more likely to have extramarital affairs.

As stated in our text, various factors can bind married couples together, such as economic interdependencies, legal, social and moral constraints, relationship, and amongst other things. In the recent years some of these factors have diminished their strengths. The modern generation sees marriage in a different perspective altogether. Individuals today feel they are stable independently, they do not need to rely on their spouse for emotional or financial support. Many are career driven and soar to conquer their dreams over settling down with a family. Such untraditional views have increased divorce rates.

In “For better, for worse: Marriage means something different now,” Stephanie Coontz reveals the worldwide changes in people’s attitudes and behaviors towards marriage. According to Coontz, education and the social norms are the reasons why marriage has become nonessential. Being single and going through a divorce are more acceptable now. The motivations of marriage have turned from economic dependence into personal willingness. In fact, Coontz’s words make me wonder the true meaning of marriage. Even though the meaning has changed over times, I believed that I still hope to get married.

Last, and most important, is that studies have not shown that more hours spent on homework leads to more knowledge. Time spent on homework does not correlate to better test scores. Some students can spend twice as much time as others and still not do as well. Grades do not necessarily improve with more hours of homework.

In the article “What if Marriage is Bad for Us?” Laurie Essig and Lynn Owens summarize the things that

A survey of 14000 adults states in ‘A Guide to Family Issues: The Marriage Advantage’ that marriage was a pertinent factor contributing to happiness and satisfaction with forty percent of the married individuals being happy as opposed to 25 percent of either single or cohabiting individuals. The same study shows that ninety eight percent of never married respondents wished to marry and out of those 88% believed that it should be a lifelong commitment. Even though, divorce rates are rising numerous researches show that young people aspire to have a lasting marriage.

Andrew J. Cherlin’s article from 2004, The Deinstitutionalization of American Marriage, argues that marriage is becoming deinstitutionalized while cohabitation is becoming institutionalized. More couples are starting to realize that they do not need a piece of paper to signify their love or compassion for one another. If they are happy living together unmarried than they should not need to get married, which is why cohabiting is becoming more prominent. “The first transition, noted by Ernest Burgess, was from the institutional marriage to the companionate marriage. The second transition was to the individualized marriage in which the emphasis on personal choice and self-development expanded.” (Cherlin pg. 848) According to Cherlin, two transitions within marriage

Marriage is a sacred union between two people who share love. For a long time, there has been a misconception about everything surrounding it. Whether it is the divorce rate, or the average happiness of married couples, many believe only the negative. Researchers often look only for the downside and forget to emphasize all the benefits marriage brings. In her book, The Good News About Marriage, Feldhanh discusses all of this and more in depth to bring to light the truth about marriage. Love is great and sharing a life with someone is something so special; therefore, it shouldn’t be looked down on based on misconceptions.

“Americans do not seem to be interested in a reality check on the topics of love and marriage. After all, it seems to be more fun to believe in fairy tales” (Hornblow). There is a large number of Americans who would get married at least once in their lives, without thinking of the importance of a marriage and the possibilities that could happen based on quick decisions. The true meaning to what marriage is, issues involving marriage, which causes the divorce rate to rise in the United States, and the importance of marriage, to what is being done to increase the chance of a happy long-lasting marriage. Marriages in the United States can be seen by the explanation of the effects of not being able to tackle problems, or being able to learn how to work through complex issues of everyday life as a married couple.

A quote from a famous American author, Mark Twain says “Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” The definition of marriage varies with cultures and views. The most popular and idealistic notion is that it’s a result from the unconditional love of two people wanting to share it for the rest of their life, in a committed and long bonding way. For some, however, marriage is more of an economical arrangement, a pact for two people to help and catch each other when the other one fall. And for others, it is just a paper that one can throw away if not needed, or by simple saying, marriage is not important.

The customary understanding people have about single people can be inaccurate, singles do not segregate themselves from the world, they stay connected with friends and family. Nonetheless, when people marry, they become isolated, they restrict themselves to countless things they won’t normally do if they were single, they are known to rely more on their spouse alone. While

Today, the idea of marriage conjures images of bashful brides beautifully draped in all white, of grandiose flower arrangements climbing towards the ceiling, of romance personified. As an institution in this modern world, marriage represents the apex of romantic love, with an entire industry of magazines, movies, and television shows devoted to perpetuating marriage as an idealized symbol of the ultimate love between two people. Contrarily, as a sociological institution, marriage comes from much more clinical and impersonal origins, contrasting with the passion surrounding modern understandings of the institution. Notably, french anthropologist Claude Levi-Strauss theorizes that the institution of marriage emerged from a need to form alliances between groups, with women functioning as the property exchanged so that such alliances could be solidified (Levi-Strauss).

Waite and Gallagher also discuss the benefits that marriage gives to couples. Including the financial benefits, in that through specialization and by sharing incomes getting married boosts standard of living by thirty percent and this benefit is not incurred by cohabitating, as those who cohabitate do not share as much and are less committed to the wellbeing of their partner. In addition to the financial benefits, they also discuss the emotional benefits of knowing you have someone who loves you and who would take care of you. Children similarly benefit from having married parents as there are more financial resources available to help take care of them and they get to spend more time with at least one parent.