Marriage Is A Private Affair, By Chinua Achebe

Arranged Marriages have been around since time can remember. An arranged marriage is a marital union between a man and a woman who were selected to be wedded together by a third party. Historically, arrange marriages were the main way to marry. In certain parts of the world, it is still the primary approach. There are two types of arrange marriages. The first is a traditional marriage where the children can, with strong objections, refuse to marry their soon to be spouse. In a forced marriage, the children have no say in the matter. Bread Givers shows an excellent representation of the pressures on children from their parents to be married against their will.

Arranged marriage is found in various cultures and countries around the world, including Afghanistan and other parts of the Middle East; having an arranged marriage is thought of as an Afghani tradition and has been a part of life for many families. The practice of arranged marriage has advantages and disadvantages; it can create more family power and give more financial security. Sadly being forced into a marriage can disrupt the independence of the engaged, most women stop their education when they become engaged resulting in many women being illiterate. This makes it impossible for them to be successful without depending on their husbands. Arranged marriage is found in many cultures throughout the modern world, though in a lot of cases it results in a happy family it can also be very limiting on women and often girls are married before they can give consent.

Marriage is described as two people as partners in a personal relationship. There are two typical ideas of marriage that we know today. The first one that comes to mind is the one we all know, based on love, but there is another one that some may not even know of and its arranged marriages. Arranged marriage is not typically in our culture we know but in different cultures arranged marriages are their normal marriage. Throughout this essay, I will discuss the importance of realizing cultural diversity and how we apply the perspectives we gain from cross-cultural comparison to our own experience using central concepts about marriage to compare and contrast marriage in several cultures.

The Igbo tribe marriage process differs from family to family, but significant similarities appear consistently with each union. However, opinions on the concept of arranged marriage vary throughout the tribe. The parents of the bride and groom play a large part in every stage of marriage. In 1992, a study was conducted in a small, Igbo village in Nigeria. In this survey of 250 Igbo people, it was discovered that 55.2% of the participants’ parents chose their spouses for them. The remaining 44.8% selected their own significant other, but with parental approval. However, out of the 250 Igbos interviewed, only 14 of them were for arranged marriage (Okonio 343). In the slightly more common situation, parents “spy” out eligible women for their son based on desirable qualities

ReferencesAugust, P. (2005, October). Arranged Marriages in the Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriageBowman, H. & Spanier, G. (1978). Modern Marriage. McGraw-Hill Book Company.

Marriage has been a heated controversy for the past few years because people often marry for the wrong reasons. Anyone who thinks of an ideal marriage would think of two people loving each other and sharing a personal bond or goals together. Marriage is regularly defined as the legally or formally recognized union of two lovers as partners in a personal relationship. This definition remarks there is an actual connection between two people in marriage, but do people actually consider this when committing to “love” and “support” their partners forever? As research and studies have shown, people ultimately get married for many reasons, except love. This philosophy can be easily applied to the short poem, “Marriage” by Gregory Corso. In this emotional poem, the author argues marriage is more effectively understood or known for culture and convenience rather than through the abstract considerations of love. Here, we can identify people generally decide to marry for the incorrect reasons, for instance the story of the author himself. Corso finds himself confused multiple times, wondering if he should marry to not be lonely, for tradition and for his physical and mental health. He disregards love, a relationship or a connection with his future wife. General ways of convenience like loneliness, health and economic status between cultural stereotypes and religion are usually the true reasons of why people chose to have the commitment of marriage with another person.

These consequences include long periods of time without relations with his father and his tribe. His father and tribe, in a sense, disown Nnaemeka as he chooses to leave the narrow path of tradition and follow the broad path of the switch to modernization. This leaves both parties distressed as both hit an emotional low point. Both wish to portray parts of their individual lifestyles and share it, only to find that the beliefs contrast greatly. Change occurs when Nnaemeka’s father, Okeke, decides that the views should not block his relation with his son and grandchildren and reveals that he takes back Nnaemeka after an eight year period of reproach.

Established with Adam and Eve, still surviving, marriage is the oldest institution known. Often the climax of most romantic movies and stories, whether it may be ‘Pride and Prejudice’ or ‘Dil Wale Dulhaniya Ley Jaein Gey’, marriage has a universal appeal. It continues to be the most intimate social network, providing the strongest and most frequent opportunity for social and emotional support. Though, over the years, marriage appears to be tarnished with high divorce rates, discontentment and infidelity, it is still a principal source of happiness in the lives of respective partners. Although marriage is perceived as a deeply flawed institution serving more the needs of the society than those of the individuals, nevertheless, marriage is

Nnaemeka explained to Nene in their room about the marriage tradition of Ibo’s and how they tend to take priority of arranging the marriage,”Yes. They are most unhappy if the engagement is not arranged by them… you are not even an Ibo.” (Achebe 986) This shows that Nnaemeka is afraid to confess to his father about the marriage, because he knows that his father will disapprove of anything that is not arranged by him. His father in turn is a figure with power that influences Nnaemeka’s actions by fear. Therefore, he is uncertain whether or not to keep the marriage secret from Okeke. Nnaemeka reluctantly told his father but unfortunately received numerous signs of disapproval that he was frightened of,”It amazes me that you could be so unfeeling to send me your wedding picture… But on further thought I decided just to cut off your wife and send it back to you because I have nothing to do with her…” (Achebe 990) This shows an example of what Nnaemeka feared would happen between his father and his marriage with Nene. Nene was brought to tears by this action of Okeke and had in mind that he would never come to accept her as his son’s wife. Okeke played a major role in disheartening Nnaemeka to make the decision of telling his father of Nene. Nnaemeka knew that Okeke would go against his choice of marrying Nene and

She learns that her parents are planning an arranged marriage for her. It has been centuries since the practice of arranged marriages for political or personal gain had been outlawed.

How would you feel if you were forced to marry someone you had met a week before just because your parents told you to? Arranged marriages are one of the most important traditions within the culture of the Igbo tribe. Even though this tradition has been sustained within few ethnic groups around the world, society has been evolving and changing over time, which may lead one to believe it’s only a matter of time before everyone has succumbed to the more modern lifestyle. The view that certain tribes have on marriage and how it has changed in certain places over time can be seen within the short story, “Marriage is a Private Affair.”

In the book, Arranged Marriage, by Chitra Divakaruni there are multiple stories that demonstrate arranged marriages from within the Indian culture. In some cases, arranged marriages work out better than others. However, in the short stories in her book, most don’t work out positively. In the short stories, “The Bats” and “The Disappearance”, the arranged marriages don’t work out. Chitra Divakaruni’s viewpoint on arranged marriages is clearly negative, due to violence, and the effect on children.

On his way home, Nnaemeka is thinking about how he is going to confront his father. The fact that he cares so much about his father’s reaction tells us that he has great respect for his father. We even see that he at one point feels kind of bad for his father, who has put an effort into finding a girl for him. This respect is also reflected in the conversation between Nnaemeka and his father. Nnaemeka finds it hard to tell his father about the situation with Nene, especially because of his father’s lack of understanding of which we see several examples through the text. A very good example is on page 2, line 14, when Nnaemeka wants to talk with his father about “the marriage question” and his father replies “Which marriage question?”. In this quote we see that in the father’s opinion Nnaemeka has no other option than to marry Ugoye, nothing needs to be discussed. Nnaemeka on the other hand, finds it impossible to marry someone that he does not love, but when he tells his father that he does not love Ugoye, he simply answers, “Nobody said you did. Why should you?”(p.2 l.19) at this point his father makes it clear that

This essay will discuss the issue of arranged marriages. According to Webster, an arranged marriage is “a marriage planned and agreed to by the families or guardians of the bride and groom, who have little or no say in the matter themselves.” I will be discussing this according to the following ethical theories: Utilitarianism, Rights Theory, and W.D. Ross’ Theory. Under these theories I will discuss whether or not they would view arranged marriages as ethical or unethical and under what circumstances one would find an arranged marriage ethical or unethical.

Marriage is a union that has been around for as long as humans have walked the earth. The human race depends upon the union of its members, and as such, the subject of marriage has been an issue that receives more intense scrutiny and attention than many would likely believe. In today's day and age, with humanity continuing to move in a modern direction, many argue that marriage is a union that should be entered into freely and should be based exclusively on the love between two people. However, I argue that arranged marriage, which has taken place throughout the ages and throughout the world, is a union that offers its observers a marriage based in support, longevity and love, and is an institution that should not be frowned upon.