Marriage Is a Private Affair

As Oekeke awoke, he shifted in his bed with a pain coming from his chest. It wasn’t a pain that made you clench up and scream, he knew from that moment something was very wrong. He tried to open his at last, from when he awoke his eyes were still weary but it seemed as though he was stuck in time. His heart pumped faster and his mind was propelling from left to right to across the back and back. All he could think of was his family, but with such confusion he could hardly focus on the realty of his situation. It was a sensation he’d never felt ever before, and as he saw his life flash by him he knew the only thing he could do was to wait it out. The old man finally grasped control of his life covered in sweat and disorientation. He asked

““Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.” --George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones. Nwoye’s sense of identity was challenged with the introduction of Western Ideas into the Ibo culture. Nwoye started out as a weak boy, in Okonkwo’s eyes, in the novel. He spent most of his time with his mother, he was very emotional, and he was betrayed by Okonkwo when he killed his best friend, Ikemefuna, however, the cultural collision of the British colonists and Ibo people affected Nwoye to the point that he eventually switched over to Christianity. He became a missionary and had a major fallout with his father and ended

Okonkwo’s oldest son, Nwoye, has to achieve high expectations, to be just like his father. If he falls short of Okonkwo’s near perfection, he will face consequence usually in the form of physical harm. Okonkwo wants Nwoye to be strong, powerful, independent, and hard-working. He must be like is father, and not like his grandfather, Unoka, or his mother. Unoka was an absolute failure in Okonkwo’s eyes, and a terrible father, who did nothing to help the family. Okonkwo is a man and wants his son to be a man too, not womanly like his mother. Okonkwo wanted “his son to be a great farmer and a great man” (33). Okonkwo is “worried about Nwoye....my children do not resemble me...too much of his mother in him” (66). Okonkwo knows that Nwoye resembles more of his mother than him, but also knows that he resembles Unoka too. Both fathers want their sons to be just like them, but do little to ask what they want in life, and neither father will budge on what they want for their sons.

Nwoye first begins to undergo changes when the missionaries set up a church.Okonkwo is very against the churches due to his religious beliefs, and would be enraged

This is a story of rage and fear mixed with cutting-edge wisdom, self-introspection, and self-destruction. After the death of Ikemefuna, his adopted son, Nwoye, his biological son has taken the way of the invader's religion, abandoning his tribe.

For Nwoye, after Ikemefuna's murder Nwoye seems to have finally given up on his father and loses reverence towards him. When Nwoye was at the stage of confusion he experiences an epiphany after being drawn to the new religion that made him “feel a relief within as the hymn poured into his parched soul” following his exposure to Christianity (147). This was an escape for Nwoye to finally find meaning in his life and ultimately make the decision to start a new life and leave the past behind. Compared to Nwoye, after Okonkwo’s time of crisis, he is faced with a transformed village and culture seeing that at the time of Okonkwo’s life many things were changing. This causes Okonkwo to experience denial and “mourn for the clan, which he saw breaking up and falling apart” (183). Drowned with memories of the past, Okonkwo misses the time at which he knew and was comfortable with. Ultimately, Okonkwo chooses to end his own life in fear that no longer exists in his clan and feels he is no match against the white men, as compared to Nwoye who chooses to live life

Nwoye Struggles with his identity and it has led him to embrace a new culture, which has Basically saved him, and shows the good effects colonialism can have on people.

Furthermore, Okonkwo’s fear of being weak and resembling his father, forces him to act without compassion, and he suffers the “loss” of his son, Nwoye. Like Unoka, Nwoye is effeminate and sensitive. After Ikemefuna dies, Nwoye notices that he feels the same as when he saw twin babies left to die in the Evil Forest, “Then something had given way inside him [Nwoye]” (62). Nwoye is an innocent child who is baffled by the cruel rituals of his clan. He loses respect for Okonkwo and the traditions of his clan. He is unable to forgive his father for killing his adopted brother and unable to forgive his clan for allowing Okonkwo to do so. When the missionaries come to Umuofia Nwoye is intrigued by Christianity, a better way of life, where he feels relief. Strict and inflexible, Okonkwo is angered by Nwoye when he finds out that he converted to Christianity, because Nwoye abandoned their ancestors and he thinks the missionaries are effeminate. Later, Okonkwo tells his five other sons of Nwoye: “You have all seen the great abomination of your brother. Now he is no longer my son or your brother. I will only have a son who is a man, who will hold his head up among my people” (172). Okonkwo disowns his eldest son, Nwoye, because he betrays the clan. Okonkwo’s inability to be compassionate and understanding, drives Nwoye away, and he loses his eldest son.

The breakdown of Okonkwo’s relationship with his son is evident throughout this novel. The reason for this tumultuous relationship is, Okonkwo is too engrossed in maintaining his status quo, and his relationship was governed by his own beliefs, principles and his own “right way to do right things”. He treated his family very strictly as he believed that showing affection revealed a sign of social weakness; thus the disheartening lack of respect and love was a mal nourishing factor with in the family.

Okonkwo considers Nwoke to be weak, lazy and is more feminine than masculine. He feared that Nwoke will turn out to be like Unoka so, “he sought to correct him by constant nagging and beating” (11). Achebe shows that Okonkwo wants his son to be strong and fierce like him, but when this was not the case he feels that harming Nwoke will teach him. Though instead of the punishment helping Nwoke become manly, it had a negative effect on Nwoke leading him to fear and resents his father. In addition, the small relationship they had was completely broken when Nwoke finds an interest for the Christian religion. When Okonkwo hears that Nwoke is among the Christians, he gets furious and disowns his son because he does not want Nwoke to join the church . Likewise, when Obierika ask Nwoke how his father is he answers saying, “I don’t know. He is not my father” (124). This shows that instead of working out their different opinions they fought and in the end tore their relationship apart. One can not miss the reality that if Okonkwo was kind and not hurtful towards Nwoke tun he would have stayed with the Ibo culture. If this was the cause then the father and son would have had a better relationship. In the end the reader can conclude that Nwoke and Okonkwo’s relationship failed because of the actions and feelings they had for each

She inherits her father’s roles as a shaman and windigo killer after he is executed, which gives her status and responsibility in her community. Also, during her relatively young days, Niska meets a Frenchman with whom she begins a romantic and sexual relationship, assuming the role of his significant other until he reveals that he had no romantic feelings for her and that he was just manipulating her for sex and a feeling of dominance over her during the entirety of their relationship, showing that to him, she had the role of a simple sexual conquest whose spirit he symbolically attempted to steal.

Obierika, Okonkwo’s best friend is wiser, refusing to go on the sacrificial march. He warns Okonkwo that the slaying of Ikemefuna does not please the Earth, and prophesizes, "It is the kind of action for which the goddess wipes out whole families" (67). Shortly after Ikemefuna’s death, Okonkwo‘s rusted gun explodes at Ezeudu’s funeral, piercing the heart of the dead man’s son, killing the boy instantly. For killing a clansman, Okonkwo and his entire family are banished and Okonkwo loses his position in his village. It is during this time that Christianity establishes itself in Okonkwo’s village. Returning after seven years, he finds that everything he once knew has changed, as the white man’s law now takes precedence over village customs. The men of his village have become like women and everything is falling apart (183).

I would describe Nwoye as a very curious and sensitive character. Not everyone is proud of the man Nwoye had become, for example Okonkwo. “ Okonkwo’s first son, Nwoye, was then twelve years old but was already causing his father great anxiety for his incipient laziness.”(13/2). Based on his father's observation you can come to a conclusion that Nwoye was very lazy starting at a young age. As you can see Okonkwo was fairly disappointed on the person Nwoye had turned out to be. Okonkwo and Nwoye never had a great relationship and sums up Nwoye as very naive having none of Okonkwo's traits. “What are you doing here?” Obierika had asked when after many difficulties the missionaries had allowed him to speak to the boy. “I am one of them”, replied Nwoye.”(144/2). Nwoye

Nnaemeka decides to tell his father about Nene when he gets home, after having spent 6 whole weeks with her in Lagos. Nene suggested him to write his father a letter, in which he could tell him about their relationship, but Nnaemeka respects his father too much to tell him by letter. (p.1 l.25).

In “Marriage is a Private Affair” Nnaemeka is open to modern ideas, but understands that tradition is important to his father. Nnaemeka respects his father’s viewpoint and traditions, but feels it is good to follow a more modern path to marriage rather than to be part of an arranged marriage. He even says to his father “you will change your mind, Father, when you meet Nene.” Okeke replies, “I will never see her.” Okeke is stubborn and furious that his son has chosen to ignore his wishes. He is very traditional and prideful and remains stuck in his ways. He eventually disowns his son and does not accept his marriage. Nene, on the other hand, cannot understand how a father could reject his own son for marrying outside of the village. It is not