Masculinity and male relationship: Things Fall Apart, Who Will Stop The Dark

The Christian church had finally won him over with their answers to questions he had been asking his whole life. All that was left was to cut the ties with his old life, with his father. But his father was the one to make the first move. After learning of his sons visit to the church Okonkwo grabbed him by the throat in a misguided search for a reason why. “Nwoye struggled to free himself from the choking grip” (page 151) Even when he has fully lost his son to the new religion, Okonkwo still tries to use violence to mold his son into what he perceives a man should be, which illustrates the nature of their relationship. It had always been fueled by anger on Okonkwo's part and fear on Nwoye's. It takes people screaming at him to let his son go for Okonkwo to finally give up, but this attack was the last straw and he was finally able to free himself of his father. "But he left hold of Nwoye, who walked away and never returned.” (page 152) Though Okonkwo did not learn from this experience, Nwoye did. He learned that his father's violence and anger could no longer control him, and that there was an escape available, though it was an escape to another culture that he most likely did not fully believe in either but at the very least, this one did not have Okonkwo. "Nwoye did not fully understand. But he was happy to leave his father."(page 152) Okonkwo's goal had always been to make Nwoye 'manlier' as he was afraid of the shame having a feminine son would

Okonkwo’s oldest son, Nwoye, has to achieve high expectations, to be just like his father. If he falls short of Okonkwo’s near perfection, he will face consequence usually in the form of physical harm. Okonkwo wants Nwoye to be strong, powerful, independent, and hard-working. He must be like is father, and not like his grandfather, Unoka, or his mother. Unoka was an absolute failure in Okonkwo’s eyes, and a terrible father, who did nothing to help the family. Okonkwo is a man and wants his son to be a man too, not womanly like his mother. Okonkwo wanted “his son to be a great farmer and a great man” (33). Okonkwo is “worried about Nwoye....my children do not resemble me...too much of his mother in him” (66). Okonkwo knows that Nwoye resembles more of his mother than him, but also knows that he resembles Unoka too. Both fathers want their sons to be just like them, but do little to ask what they want in life, and neither father will budge on what they want for their sons.

Through the character of Okonkwo, Achebe illustrates the dangers of being selfish. Although successful, Okonkwo is one of the most aggressively selfish men among the Igbo people based on his self-centered needs and desires. This characteristic is prevalent throughout the entirety of the novel, and there are always consequences to his actions. For example, Okonkwo is fond of calling men “women” to make himself look more masculine. He does this to Osugo in front of a group of men in a meeting. “Okonkwo knew how to kill a man’s spirit. Everybody at the kindred meeting took sides with Osugo when Okonkwo called him a woman” (Achebe 26). Since the other men sided with Osugo, Okonkwo’s punishment for this narcissistic outburst is embarrassment. Continuing,

In most cultures an individual’s gender will influence their characterization. For instance, Ibo tribes in Africa classify people according to their gender. Women are thought as submissive individuals who are to some extent weaker than men. Men on the other hand are thought of as strong beings with much expected from them. Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart strongly emphasizes on the categorization of masculinity and femininity in the society of Ibo tribes. Throughout the book, Okonkwo’s idea about masculinity situates him with respect to his community. In his community Okonkwo is greatly praised for his masculine traits. It is Okonkwo integration with masculinity that leads to him becoming an

Okonkwo treated his son and daughter very differently. The child-father relationship between Okonkwo and Nwoye was a distant and strained one while Okonkwo exhibited another type of feeling towards Ezinma which is filled with care and concern. This was due to the fact that Nwoye “was already causing his father great anxiety for his incipient laziness” whereas Ezinma was thought to have the “right spirit” and “alone understood [Okonkwo’s] every mood”.

One quotation that expresses Okonkwo’s view of manliness states Okonkwo “was always happy when he heard [Nwoye] grumbling about women. That showed that in time he would be able to control his womenfolk” (53). This quotation shows that Oknonkwo feels pleasure when his son displays signs of power, such as the control of the perceived weaker gender. Ergo, Okonkwo views the subordination of others by his son as an example of “masculinity.” This idea is further supported by the quotation: “No matter how prosperous a man was, if he was unable to rule his women and his children… he was not really a man” (53). Oknonkwo clearly considers utter authority of one’s nuclear family as a prerequisite to meet “manhood.” He literally states that a man without patriarchy in his family is not a man. Therefore, when Nwoye displays the early signs of this dominance, like the grumbling about his subordinate women’s issues, Okonkwo is finally considering his son “masculine” as shown by his happiness.

Okonkwo is initially introduced as a proud, hardworking, successful warrior. He is described as "clearly cut out for great things" (6). But he is the son of a ne'er-do-well father; though genial and inoffensive, Unoka must certainly have been considered a failure. He is lazy and does not provide for his family. Not only is this disgraceful, but life-threatening as well. He is dependent on other members of the clan and must have been considered unsuccessful. Okonkwo chafes under such disgrace and his success is a consequence of his desire to be everything his father is not; society's vision of an exemplar citizen. The fact that Okonkwo is able to rise above his poverty and disgraceful paternity illustrates the Igbo's acceptance of individual free will. But Okonkwo's fate and his disharmony with his chi, family and clan are shown to cause his ultimate disgrace and death.

The breakdown of Okonkwo’s relationship with his son is evident throughout this novel. The reason for this tumultuous relationship is, Okonkwo is too engrossed in maintaining his status quo, and his relationship was governed by his own beliefs, principles and his own “right way to do right things”. He treated his family very strictly as he believed that showing affection revealed a sign of social weakness; thus the disheartening lack of respect and love was a mal nourishing factor with in the family.

Okonkwo considers Nwoke to be weak, lazy and is more feminine than masculine. He feared that Nwoke will turn out to be like Unoka so, “he sought to correct him by constant nagging and beating” (11). Achebe shows that Okonkwo wants his son to be strong and fierce like him, but when this was not the case he feels that harming Nwoke will teach him. Though instead of the punishment helping Nwoke become manly, it had a negative effect on Nwoke leading him to fear and resents his father. In addition, the small relationship they had was completely broken when Nwoke finds an interest for the Christian religion. When Okonkwo hears that Nwoke is among the Christians, he gets furious and disowns his son because he does not want Nwoke to join the church . Likewise, when Obierika ask Nwoke how his father is he answers saying, “I don’t know. He is not my father” (124). This shows that instead of working out their different opinions they fought and in the end tore their relationship apart. One can not miss the reality that if Okonkwo was kind and not hurtful towards Nwoke tun he would have stayed with the Ibo culture. If this was the cause then the father and son would have had a better relationship. In the end the reader can conclude that Nwoke and Okonkwo’s relationship failed because of the actions and feelings they had for each

Okonkwo despises his father to an extent that Okonkwo strives to be nothing like Unoka. Okonkwo lives his life and his goal is to be one of the high lords of the clan (Achebe 131). Okonkwo’s life goal is to be the opposite of his father, who is seen as a failure in the Ibo society. Unlike his father who did not fulfill the community's ideals of success Okonkwo did, and strives to achieve his whole life to prove that he was not similar to his father, because he does not want to be like someone who he despises. Similarly to Okonkwo, Nwoye does not have a good relationship with his father, because Nwoye does not act like him. Nwoye Knew that he should act violent like his father, but he preferred to be with his mother and listen to stories (Achebe 53). From a young age Nwoye knew he did not want to be like his father, because he did not approve of the way Okonkwo acts thus he rebelled by being like his mother and preferring kindness and stories over violence. Besides not wanting to be violent like his father, Nwoye rebels by converting to christianity. Nwoye converts, changes his name to Isaac and goes to college to become a teacher (Achebe 182). Nwoye converting and changing his name is the ultimate rebellion because he literally changes everything Okonkwo tried to make Nwoye. Okonkwo attempted to make Nwoye a strong man in the eyes of Ibo society just it in turn made Nwoye rebel and turn

He often "wish[es] she [Ezinma] were a boy."(122) For his son, "he wanted Nwoye to grow into a tough young man capable of ruling his... household." (37) The failure of his son to live up to Okonkwo's expectations for him are another factor in Okonkwo's own innate need to be exceptionally masculine.

He is very different form his father and in some way reminds us of Unoka who was a total opposite to Okonkwo. He is the black sheep and the scapegoat of the family, before Ikemefuna is in the house that becomes like an older brother to Nwoye and teaches him to be gentle but successfully masculine at the same time “ Nwoye’s mother was very kind to him. Treated him as one of there own children” (27) “ Nwoye … became quite inseparable form him” (28). Okonkwo approves of Nwoyes actions and stops the beatings. Although Nwoye is now a “real man “ he still misses his “feminine ways” for example music and the act o conversation.

Nwoye is Okonkwo’s eldest son who Okonkwo considers unforgivably emasculate and very much like his father, Unoka. As a child, Nwoye usually receives the brunt of his father’s criticism and remains feeling unwanted. Eventually, Ikemefuna comes to fill that void and Nwoye, in his adoration of his adoptive brother, begins to takes after him. Also In a take strange way, Ikemefuna fills the role of both father and brother for Nwoye, providing him with a peer to share his thoughts and a person to look up to. As Ikemefuna rubs off on Nwoye, Okonkwo begins to find more favor with both of the boys. As a result , the three begin to form an unbreakable bond, or so they thought.

The novel Things Fall Apart took place in the Igbo Society-the part of the world that has very strict views on gender roles, but not just gender roles. It is likely that every individual in the Igbo society viewed or defined masculinity differently. To some, masculinity was expressed through anger and violence; to others, masculinity was expressed through a man’s responsibility. These different views on masculinity can create conflicts and can therefore impact individual's life. In the novel Things Fall Apart, Okonkwo and Obierika different interpretations of masculinity led them to a different life and such intention was successfully introduced through Achebe’s uses of foil characters.

The only thing he (Okonkwo) fears most is not ending up like his father, Unoka. However, Achebe ‘‘makes an insightful comment on the nature of masculinity through his representation of the tribal leaders. Achebe basically, was conducive in creating four alter egos of Okonkwo: one of which were the masculinity; next of his fatherly abilities; and the last of his family progress and four of his likelihood of success’’ (Achebe.179). My paper will explain how Okonkwo’s Masculinity from Achebe’s Things Fall Apart will be characterized by his fears, beliefs, and emotions for several reasons.