Millions In Abusive Relationship

Typically, domestic violence occurs between a man and a woman, and usually, women end up being the victims more often then men (Heidensohn, 2012). The male is usually more dominant because he is bigger and significantly stronger then the female. However, in recent years, men have been experiencing their fair share of abuse from women. According to a study done by the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men, “Over 90% experienced controlling behaviors, and several men reported frustrating experiences with the domestic violence system. Callers’ reports indicated that their female abusers had a history of trauma, alcohol/drug problems, mental ill- ness, and homicidal and suicidal ideations” (Hines, 2007). This study measured 190 male callers who called the DAHM and the study shows that women can also batter men. This applies to the case of Jordan Graham and Cody Johnson because a wife murdered her husband. No one should ever underestimate someone else’s strength or aggression as those characteristics can be extremely hard to gauge. Cody Johnson may have had no prior knowledge of Graham’s temper and may have even felt as if he were the dominant figure in their marriage. Sometimes, it is easy to accuse a spouse of being the core reason for domestic abuse, whether it is verbal or physical abuse. However, domestic abuse can be seen as a problem for human beings in general, “Others have argued that violence is a

Signs of abuse include, but are not limited to, controlling nature, resistant to chance, dismissive, and manipulative behavior. Melinda Smith and Jeanne Segal state that the most telling sign of abuse in the relationship is fearing the other partner (Smith and Segal, 2006). If a woman is afraid of her partner then she may be in an abusive relationship. Men that are abusing women will tear her down and make her feel like she is worth nothing and that she does not deserve any better than an abusive man. An abuser will take away control from her and make her feel worthless. Segal and Smith also state that “abusive behavior and violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to control you” (Smith and Segal, 2006). An abuser wants to make their victim afraid and they will do certain things to make sure that the victim does not leave. It is also noted that just because there are not any physical signs of abuse, such

The Brigham Young University, lists the steps towards successfully eliminating the abusive factor in a relationship. First, understanding what an abusive relationship is like, and detecting whether you are currently in one. Secondly, supporting one’s dignity and acknowledging the importance of an abuse free household. Margaret E. Johnson focuses on the inner self structure. Realizing the problem, understanding the plausible consequences, acknowledging that the second party is wrong, and not letting their own self-worth go down, are just the tip of the iceberg in abusive relationships. In the other hand, being manipulated, going to court, divorce/ separation, are factors

Women and men with low-self-esteem tend to be afraid to start over or walk away from the things they have built with their abusive partner, so they attend to except a lot therefore they become victims of explosive conflict. Most women and men hold on to their partner in hopes that they will change therefore they have to walk around as they are walking on hot coals, in hopes that they won’t set the bad temper individual off. In this case a lot of physical and mental abuse takes place.

Growing up as a child one of my family members was in an abusive relationship and sadly my aunt was not the only receiving the abusive her child had to deal with it too. Her husband would beat on my aunt sometimes and say cruel things to my aunt and her daughter, which ultimately made the daughter grow up with many insecurities. After being in the abuse relationship for years she finally found the coverage to leave him. Abuse can come in all different forms there are physical abuse, verbal abuse and emotional abuse. Sometimes it is hard to notice when abuse is going on within the relationship and when the victim finally notices the relationship is toxic they find it hard to walk away. In the short story "Sweat" by Zora

Those who are abused fear what will happen to them once they leave, and they have probably already been threatened with what will happen if they do. Women are often embarrassed of themselves. Abusive relationships are immediately judged, and peoples’ lack of understanding could lead the abused to believe they did something wrong by being involved in the

While I know what a healthy relationship consist of, it made me realize that even more women than I originally thought are probably victims of an abusive relationship. There are some women that I work with now or over the past few years that everyone in the office thinks their spouse is a “jerk” or that they deserve better but never really thought of them as a victim. A lady that I worked with recently would have to call her husband and talk to him during her lunch hour because he believed that she was cheating on him. He would also control what she wore and would not like when she would have make-up on. Her spouse would think she wore make-up to attract other men. I knew the way he would treat her was not right but never once thought she was involved in an abusive relationship. Abusive relationships to me are relationships in which one is forced to participate in unwanted sexual advances or activities and physical abuse such as hitting, chocking etc.

Some women take the position that “hope springs eternal” for people in love and they shouldn’t be held accountable for the abusive spousal choices they make. That is precisely the kind of romantic notion that men and women cling to and use to seduce them into staying in relationships in which there is abundant evidence that they should leave. Often friends and parents try to intervene but when “hope springs eternal” obvious dangers are overlooked, denied and women tell themselves something like, “If I just love him enough, he’ll change.” Battered men usually say exactly the same things. “What is needed in situations of verbal and physical abuse and danger is not romantic fantasy but a critical and self-protective assessment of the facts followed by a decision based on those facts”(Walker 17).

The CDC reports that nearly half of all men and women in the United States have been psychologically abused by a romantic partner, while around a quarter of women and 1 in 7 men have been physically abused [2]. This is a dramatic difference from areas like the United Kingdom, where 8.2% of women and 4% of men have been abused [3] One in three people experience abuse by a romantic partner by the age of eighteen [4]. In 2015, 87% of hospitalized abuse victims in New York state were women, and were admitted more often than male victims [5]. This can likely be partially attributed to traditional gender roles, which assume that men are “stronger” than women and are “weak” if they are hurt by a woman.

Speaking from experience, many battered women do not leave their abusive husbands because they sincerely believe that they didn’t mean to hurt them or that they did something to piss them off. Many feel guilty and think they were the cause of the physical abuse. However, it turns out that, “Almost half of the women who die due to homicide are killed by their current or former husbands or boyfriends” (Siegel, 354).

Psychological, emotional, financial, and sexual abuse are also types of abuse that some people experience. This can include things such as belittling you, isolating you from family and friends, or coercing you into sexual acts. If the other person is taking a position of control, especially when this position of control is meant to make you feel inferior, you might be experiencing domestic abuse. Both men and women can be victims of domestic abuse, and getting away from the relationship as soon as possible is important. Studies have shown that if you stay in the relationship, the abuse is likely to get worse, rather than

Every year in the United States, One in four women are victims of the domestic violence; however, this is only based on what has been reported to the department of justice (Stahly 2008). While men are also victims of domestic violence, women are more often the victims. Moreover, 90% of domestic violence is male initiated. In severe cases domestic violence ends with victims being murdered. More specifically, domestic violence resulted in 2,340 deaths in the United States in 2007, and 70% of those killed were females (CDC 2012). Many people think that victims have the option of leaving and many people blame victims for putting up with the abuse; what many people don 't know is, victims of domestic violence have many reasons preventing them from leaving their abusers, these reasons include, isolation, having children bounding them with the abuser and lack of financial support. "It 's never pretty when you leave an abusive and controlling relationship. The warden always protests when a prison gets shut down," says Dr. Steve Maraboli (qtd from web). Whether a victim stays or leaves their abuser, the outcomes of both situations are not always as easy as many people predict. In some situations, the outcomes of leaving may be very dangerous for both the victim and her children.

     There are various forms of emotional abuse but they all contribute to the victim as feeling helpless and inability. One form of emotional abuse is verbal dominance. Meaning the victims opinions, feelings and thoughts carry no weight and are pretty much meaningless. A second form of emotional abuse is isolation, this occurs when the abuser limits the victims access to money, use of the car and other normal activities. The abuser also talks negatively about friends and family making it uncomfortable to maintain outside relationships. A third form of emotional abuse is guilt, this occurs when the abuser blames the spouse for his/her assaultive behavior with rationale, after a period of time the spouse blames self for the battering. A fourth form is fear; the abuser threatens harm to spouse, family or friends in order to stay in control of a situation. Finally a fifth form of spousal abuse is humiliation, this is when the abuser may put down the spouse in front of children, family and friends. (Wallace)

Abuse can have many different meanings, there is one in particular that takes control in many Americans relationship, “physical maltreatment” (Abuse). Sadly there is an increasing amount of young adults going through an abusive relationship or were in one. Many of the people that become abusers consider violence as a normal behavior because they have witnessed it on a daily basis. They than begin to mistreat everyone that comes in his or her way. An abuser is frequently interested in controlling their victims. An abuser’s behavior is usually manipulating, in order to make their victims

Welcome to my blog, Perfect Love. Throughout my blog posts, I will discuss my personal experience with an abusive relationship, how to realize that you are in an abusive relationship, and how to leave. Aside from using my own personal experiences, I will also add credible sources to my posts.