Mother Daughter Relationship in I Stand Here Ironing by Tillie Olsen

Before she begins the essay with the imagery, Allison adopts a persona of a mother who is formerly poor as a child, and now middle class with a large family. This is when she describes her past in an anecdote, and when she moves to describe cooking for her son and family. Her persona responds well to her intended audience, who may be poor families experiencing rough times, or young mothers in need of something to relate to.

Although the daughter’s shame in her mother is evident, she is also prideful of her as well. The strong love that the mother and daughter share is pervasive throughout the story. The story is being told by the daughter after she is all grown up. The fact that Jones uses such vivid detail on the mother’s preparation for her daughters first day of school shows that the daughter loved her mom and all that she did for her. The daughter recalls that her mother spent a lot of time preparing her when she says, “My mother has uncharacteristically spent nearly an hour on my hair that morning, plaiting and replaiting so that now my scalp tingles.” (Jones) She also remembers that her “pale green slip and underwear are new, the underwear having come three to a plastic package with a little girl on the front who appears to be dancing.” (Jones) The daughter having remembered details like these illustrate that she has an immense love and takes pride

Emily was kept confined from all that surrounded her. Her father had given the town folks a large amount of money which caused Emily and her father to feel superior to others. “Grierson’s held themselves a little too high for what they really were” (Faulkner). Emily’s attitude had developed as a stuck-up and stubborn girl and her father was to blame for this attitude. Emily was a normal

In spite of her suffering, it is almost shocking how Emily behaves extraordinary well even in stressful situations. When she is left at nursery school, she acts unexpectedly contrary to most kids her age. “‘She did not clutch and implore “don’t go Mommy” like the other children’” (Olsen 291). She prefers to stay at home but even while trying to convince her mother to let her stay, she does it subtly, “‘Never a direct protest, never rebellion’” (Olsen 292). Does Emily behave well by choice? Her mother is worried and wonders, “What in me demanded that goodness in her? And what was the cost, the cost to her of such goodness?” (Olsen 292).

Although the mother may have been trying to help Emily, the mother should have tried to take care of Emily better instead of sending her off as the only solution. One of the other effects of her mother’s unavoidable neglect is Emily’s failure to be on the same pace as her peers in class. She is at a state of illiteracy that is uncommon for her age at the time which may be a result from staying at home instead of going to class to take care of the household. In addition to the mother’s neglect, having a sister who was the ideal poster child may have caused self confidence problems as she grew older being the odd one out in the family. Emily’s mother should have made sure she was able to take care of Emily first before deciding to give birth to another child. What the mother thought would be the best option for Emily had a more clear negative effect on Emily after she grew older still not having any clear direction in her life.

Comparing Tillie Olsen’s “I Stand Here Ironing” and Jamaica Kincaid’s “Girl” Daughter and mother relationship is an endless topic for many writers. They meant to share the bond of love and care for each other. Nevertheless, in the real world their relationship is not as successful as it ought to be. The stories “Girl” and “I Stand Here Ironing” are examples of this conflict. The author of the short story “Girl” Jamaica Kincaid use her life story to reflect in the story. In her short story “Girl”, Kincaid presents the experience of being young and female in a poor country. The story is structured as a single sentence of advice that a mother gives to her daughter. The mother expresses her resents and worries about her daughter becoming a woman. The author of “I Stand Here Ironing” is Tillie Olsen, similarly her story portrays powerfully the economic domestic burdens a poor woman faced, as well as the responsibility and powerlessness she feels over her child’s life. Moreover, the woman is grieving about her daughter's life and about the circumstances that shaped her own mothering. Both stories have many features in common. Not only do they explore the troubles that could exist in the relationship between mother and daughter, but also they raise questions about motherhood, especially when a mother lives on a shoestring, the stories explore the difficulties that a young mother has to endure while raising her child in poverty. Although the two stories refer to different place and

This reality sends panic and fear through her because now she has nowhere to turn and no one to tell her what to do, no one to command her life. Not only is she stricken with the loss of her father but now she is cut off to the outside world, because her only link has passed on. Emily immediately goes into a state of denial; to her, her father could not be dead, he was all that she had and she would not let him go.

“We remembered all the young men her father had driven away, and we knew that with nothing left, she would have to cling to that which had robbed her, as people will. “Miss Emily met them at the door, dressed as usual and with no trace of grief on her face. She told them that her father was not dead. She did that for three days.” While the corpse of her father remained in the house for three days while Miss Emily refused to accept the her father was dead and that she was now “left alone and a pauper,” she had no idea what to do now that she was alone. She did not know how to accept the fact that she could now make her own decisions. “So when she got to be thirty and was still single, we were not pleased exactly but vindicated; even with insanity in the family she wouldn’t have turned down all of her chances if they had really materialized.”

     Emily’s mother felt like she was forced to neglect Emily. Her excuse was that the time was hard, it was the age “of depression, of war, of fear” (Olsen 262). Although things were not under Emily’s mother’s control, she takes responsibility anyway. In society, parents are thought to provide physical and emotional support so that their children can advance through life with prosperity. This paper is the property of Virtual Essays .com Copyright ©

Poverty and loneliness play a role in the life of the narrator and as a result, she ponders about it and how it has affected her and her daughter. “1 was nineteen. It was the pre-relief, pre-WPA world of the depression,” (293). She was struggling financially, and because of the Great Depression, she was struggling to find a job, especially as a woman. And on top of that, she has a child she hardly has time to take care of because of her quest for a job and money to support herself and her daughter. Not only is she financially struggling, “for I worked or looked for work and for Emily's father, who "could no longer endure" (he wrote in his good-bye note) "sharing want with us."”, her husband abandoned her because of her financial situation (292). What else is more tormenting than thinking about how much of a financial hell hole one is in and that the only partner they can depend on has given up all hope?

The narrator was not a very maternally loving mother to Emily. "The old man living in the back once said in his gentle way: `You should smile at Emily more when you look at her'" (200). Unlike the mom's portrayed in the 1950's, the narrator could not

Emily is angry and resentful. She is angry at her mother and blames her for her life and the way she has turned out. Her mother has always put her down and constantly tell her that she was

The tone of this story is one of fear, regret, and guilt. The story first leaves the reader with impression that it may be a recount of the life of a daughter who was lost due to neglect. Soon it is evident

Emily behaves the way she does for numerous reasons. She is born into an aristocratic family. Emily is brought up as a Southern belle by her father and is placed on a pedestal by the townspeople. The Grierson’s are known in town for being extremely wealthy and having the nicest house in Jefferson, Yoknapatawpha County. Due to the fact that her father, Mr. Grierson, keeps her isolated and socially restricted as a child, she behaves abnormally. Emily feels as if she is pressured to live up to her father’s expectations. Because Emily is kept away from everything, she is not yet exposed to the real world.

Being a single woman with a family to support in the 1930’s was not an easy job. Especially when society had so many chips stacked against them. Tillie Olsen’s “I stand Here Ironing” is a short story that addresses feminine social disorders and inequalities as well as economic disadvantages that people of lower circumstances have to overcome to survive. In the short story it is basically an autobiography of Tillie Olsen’s life told by the narrator (Emily’s mother). Throughout the story the narrator is reflecting the way she brought up her daughter during a depression and feminist era. She feels very regretful reflecting 19 years late because of the decisions she was forced to make because of the absence of Emily’s father. This story can be seen in a feminist perspective as well as a Marxist perspective; even though they are very different from one another both perspectives help interpret Tillie Olsen’s short story. The Marxist perspective helps illuminate Tillie Olsen’s “I stand Here Ironing” when the narrator explains how the capital system negatively affected Emily and her Family. In a feminist perspective the narrator describes her different encounters with men that abandoned her; causing her to have to take on a male dominated role. Because of the societal characteristic she had to take on it caused her to turn away from her daughter in order to survive.