Essay on Mother vs. Son

Encountering conflict is an inevitable facet of human existence, which by definition is the opposition of intangible entities. From conflict individuals and societies may be challenged and furthered in terms of social and moral values and beliefs, as each comes to encounter the underlying and intangible elements of conflict and through this, humanity.

Conflict is inevitable in any personal relationship or among members of any group. While we encounter many types of conflict in our lifetime, we often look for ways to avoid conflict. So, why do we run away from dealing with our conflict? It is often because many of us fear the conflict will escalate into a situation we will not be able to sustain. “As conflicts escalate, they go through certain incremental transformations. Although these transformations occur separately on each side, they affect the conflict as a whole because they are usually mirrored by the other side. As a result of these transformations, the conflict is intensified in ways that are sometimes exceedingly difficult to undo” (Pruitt, and Kim 89). We

At the core of all conflict analysis is perception (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011). In interpersonal conflicts, people react as though there are genuinely different goals, there is not enough of some resource, and the other person actually is getting in the way of something prized by the perceiver (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011).

Just whom is Edmund Gosse’s Father and Son written for? Is it for the Father, or for the Son, or, as Edmund Gosse tells us, for the public, so they can have a record of life in a rigidly religious family? Edmund begins his book by telling you that it is a historical record, an important chronicle that is to be used, basically as a reference for a period of time. Yet, in the first sentence of the first chapter, we can see that this is truly not his purpose. The first words on the page does not reference a historical event; they are, instead, cathartic. Edmund tries very hard to convince his reader that “this is not an autobiography” (217). Try as he might, he did not persuade me.

     On the road of life, many trials arise that one must overcome to make his or her life feel complete. In Langston Hughes’s poem, “Mother to Son,” these trials are a subject of concern for one mother. Hughes’ “ability to project himself” is seen in his use of dialect, metaphors, and tone (Barksdale 3).

On a crisp autumn day in 2016, while hidden away from the cares of my daily routine in my family room, I was called upon to elaborate on an important aspect of my life. It took some time for consideration to determine how to best portray a journey I have taken in managing conflict, as I am not a young woman. Decades filled with the blessings of being the mother of disabled children, years lived as a single parent, as well as the process of maturation, tempered by the fires of adversity, have molded me into who I am today. As I reflected, I wondered if would I know how to deal with conflict as I do now without the life experiences I have had? Certainly not! The following paragraphs will describe my primary conflict style and why I use it, how I have changed constructively in this area, how the other four styles of conflict management may serve me, and where I hope to arrive as I continue to make my way along the journey of my life.

always nagging her about something; whether it be smoking or that her laundry is piling

The speaker of the poem “Mother to Son,” by Langston Hughes is a mother who is giving advice to her son. Her life has been difficult and hard at times. As readers, we know this because the speaker talks about how life is a staircase and her staircase has had “tacks and splinters in it” (line 3-4). This means that her life has not been perfect and she had many challenges to deal with. Perhaps she was born into poverty, because the images in her poem reveal a ragged, old staircase, like you might find in a decrepit, old building. Further, the speaker’s accent reveals that the speaker was not well-educated when she was younger, such as when she says “I'se been a-climbin' on” (line 9) which is not proper English. Since

Every mother would like to see her child succeed in life. The following passage from the poem, "Mother to Son", by Langston Hughes demonstrates the love and concern a mother has for her son. She teaches him using her own life as an example; her life as a climb up a staircase. The imagery from the advice given in the stanza is explicit and poignant:

The mediation process involves five stages; entry, diagnosis, negotiation, agreements, and follow-up (Hocker & Wilmont, 2014). During the first stage, I explained the consequences of not resolving the issue and one party claimed that they “wouldn’t care” and “was probably better off anyway”. These statements made it hard to move forward. However, I explained that there would be no dispute if the party truly did not care. Then, I asked what benefits would come from without involvement from the other individual. The individual soon stopped being critical of the process. The next stage is diagnosing the problem. The main problem during this stage was identifying the relational and identity goals. Based on research by Spiroska (2014) “conflict occurs when people pursue goals that clash or are incompatible” (p. 86). Therefore, identifying these goals are important. The more the individuals discussed the easier it became to detect subtler goals and ignore the overwhelming topic goal. Eventually, I determined that the relational goal was trust being broken and the identity goals were face- saving based. The refurbisher did not want to look incompetent or irresponsible. During the negotiation stage, I found it personally difficult to avoid choosing sides. One member made some exceptional points. However, when I stepped into each person’s perspective, it created an equal ground for me to mediate. The agreement stage seemed to be the easiest

Once again, I do not like to ask this question as it sets me up for potential negative feedback which creates anger and defensiveness. At this point in my life, my self-confidence has not quite developed to a state where I can handle the input.

In conflict we often make the mistake of using our power to focus on the relationship or on the issue/  outcome we desire.  The result is that we often attain one at the expense of the other.  Our power may enable us to achieve our goal but damage or destroy the relationship.  Alternatively, we may sustain the relationship at the expense of our needs or desired outcome.  The ideal may be maintaining a healthy relationship while at the same time achieving our goal, but this requires a subtle and complex use of different kinds of power or perhaps not using the power at our disposal.  This requires wisdom, self control and self discipline as well as skilled interpersonal behavior.

p.65). In conflicts relational goals need to be realized and managed because they are the center of all conflicts (Wilmot, 2007. p.67) but they are not easily recognized internally or externally, and they are interpreted differently by each party (Wilmot, 2007. p.67). In the reviewed conflict, the parents feel that the children are becoming more independent, and do not care what the parents think or need. The children believe that the parents do not consider the things that are important to the children to be important. Basically, each seems to seek the respect from the other units. The way that each will react throughout the conflict will express how that person believes the other is thinking about them. They will react to an image that they have created of the other person that probably is not accurate (Wilmot, 2007. p.69). Because relationship goals are not easily determined, these goals will escalate.

Ever since I can remember, my mother has been a strong individual. She raised my

Conflict arises from differences. It occurs whenever people disagree over their values, motivations, perceptions, ideas, or desires. If you are out of touch with your feelings or so stressed out that you can only pay attention to a small amount of emotions, you will never be able to understand your own feelings. It is important to know that if you do not understand your own needs you will have a very difficult time communicating with other people.