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Mother vs. Son
When thinking of conflict, many think of violence or hate. Although, according to Wilmot and
Hocker, conflict is simply a “struggle over values and claims to scarce status, power, and resources in
which the aims
…show more content…
In our Mother-son relationship, when Mom is upset with me, she will suggest disapproving
comments of my habits. She might criticize me about leaving the house and not washing dirty dishes, or
mention “if you see the trash needs to be taking out, do it!” While these are justified remarks,
subconsciously, my response is “why can’t you do it yourself”. This action followed by a reaction of
aggression and then avoidance. Escalatory spirals involves communication where there seems to be an
endless cycle of arguing, leading nowhere, but causing damage to the relationship (Hocker & Wilmot,
Despite the fact that what my Mother saids is true, how she voices these statements affects our
relationship. While there are not many things said that will hurt my ego, comments in this regard causes
me to question my performance as a son. Even if this is only an attempt at “hitting below the belt”, her
criticism creates not only interpersonal conflict between us, but also, produces intrapersonal conflict
inside me. An initiation of intrapersonal conflict bringing me to lose sight of how to resolve our
disagreement, leaving confusion on how did I allow myself to reach this point (Hocker & Wilmot, pp.12).
As our conflict begins escalatory
At the core of all conflict analysis is perception (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011). In interpersonal conflicts, people react as though there are genuinely different goals, there is not enough of some resource, and the other person actually is getting in the way of something prized by the perceiver (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011).
Also, I was a highly involved student. I participated in two sports and was a part of six different organizations. Two of those clubs being math team and science team. If I did not participate in those two I could not do any other organizations. She told me "academic clubs are good my child, you will be on that team". I studied every night for two hours both subjects to make sure I was ready for competitions. Before I went to bed my mother quizzed me and I would not dare to get a question or problem wrong.
While I am happy that she feels comfortable with me, I also feel awkward since I believe my mother wants me to side with her whenever she makes difficult decisions concerning her relationships. Due to the fact that she is my mother, I would support her no matter what decisions she makes concerning her relationships. However, knowing details about her relationships is uncomfortable for me and often I wish she would not share so much with me. Also, because she does share quite a bit with me, sometimes I fear that my siblings are jealous of the coalition that has formed. My sisters will sometimes make comments regarding the relationship between my mother and I, offering evidence that they feel hurt my mother does not share with them.
The speaker of the poem “Mother to Son,” by Langston Hughes is a mother who is giving advice to her son. Her life has been difficult and hard at times. As readers, we know this because the speaker talks about how life is a staircase and her staircase has had “tacks and splinters in it” (line 3-4). This means that her life has not been perfect and she had many challenges to deal with. Perhaps she was born into poverty, because the images in her poem reveal a ragged, old staircase, like you might find in a decrepit, old building. Further, the speaker’s accent reveals that the speaker was not well-educated when she was younger, such as when she says “I'se been a-climbin' on” (line 9) which is not proper English. Since
For example, when you are asking something of someone. This could be as simple as asking your friend to grab you a drink. It also relates to how you react to something you disagree with. For example, my friend is an advocate for animals. When she brings something up that I don’t necessarily agree with, or at least do not have as strong of feelings towards, I will reevaluate how I respond to her. It may be hard for me to put myself in her shoes, because I do not understand how she feels about the topic but I can create a scenario in my head that helps me relate to her. I can find something I have strong feelings towards and then evaluate how I would want someone to respond to me about the topic.
Michael was raised in an unconventional way. He did not have any apparent connections with anyone in his family, or anyone at school. His parents were merely characters in his life rather than people around to shape Michael. Since he lacked the shaping needed, he was misshapen. Early on in The Reader it becomes apparent that Michael does not have strong relations with any members of his family.
Humans share values with others by teaching them examples leading up to those values, often reflecting off of their own.
The mediation process involves five stages; entry, diagnosis, negotiation, agreements, and follow-up (Hocker & Wilmont, 2014). During the first stage, I explained the consequences of not resolving the issue and one party claimed that they “wouldn’t care” and “was probably better off anyway”. These statements made it hard to move forward. However, I explained that there would be no dispute if the party truly did not care. Then, I asked what benefits would come from without involvement from the other individual. The individual soon stopped being critical of the process. The next stage is diagnosing the problem. The main problem during this stage was identifying the relational and identity goals. Based on research by Spiroska (2014) “conflict occurs when people pursue goals that clash or are incompatible” (p. 86). Therefore, identifying these goals are important. The more the individuals discussed the easier it became to detect subtler goals and ignore the overwhelming topic goal. Eventually, I determined that the relational goal was trust being broken and the identity goals were face- saving based. The refurbisher did not want to look incompetent or irresponsible. During the negotiation stage, I found it personally difficult to avoid choosing sides. One member made some exceptional points. However, when I stepped into each person’s perspective, it created an equal ground for me to mediate. The agreement stage seemed to be the easiest
Chambers (2003) defines conflict is as “ a violent collision: a struggle or contest: a battle: a mental struggle “(pg.
The topic I have chosen for my paper is that of relationship between parents and children. Some of the points that I will be discussing are child abuse, child neglect and how it can affect a child and the relationship with the parents.
Ever since I can remember, my mother has been a strong individual. She raised my
As we reflect on our own fears. What do I fear as teenager, as a mom, as a teacher..? How can we be find the courage and understanding to deal with our personal situations? Without knowing we have all faced and overcame many adversities and when we looked back and reflect upon it we ask ourselves. How did I do it? How did I find the courage?
This is still true to this day,” The conflict perspective explains various aspects of our social world by looking at which groups have power and benefit from particular social arrangements,” (Mooney, Knox, Schacht) think about it the
Conflict arises from differences. It occurs whenever people disagree over their values, motivations, perceptions, ideas, or desires. If you are out of touch with your feelings or so stressed out that you can only pay attention to a small amount of emotions, you will never be able to understand your own feelings. It is important to know that if you do not understand your own needs you will have a very difficult time communicating with other people.
My relationship I have with my mother is genuinely strong. She listens to my bickering and gives me insight for solutions to problems that may arise within everyday life. Unlikely wanted by my mom, the disciplinary role was given to her at an early setting due to the fact that my father was deployed to Afghanistan, and Iraq multiple times during my youth. That role creates complications within our relationship and occasionally arguments were created.