My Body : A Deep Sense Of Resistance And Confusion

1120 WordsNov 24, 20155 Pages
When I started my body drawing I experienced a deep sense of resistance and confusion. So badly I wanted to feel joyful and excited. While contemplating my reluctance, I thought, this is my temple, right? I know it well. Shouldn’t I be diving right in? Nevertheless, the entire drawing was an itchy stubborn journey, one through which I discovered a complex truth: this so called ‘temple’ is a concept which is defined in part by isolate functions, biological rules, capabilities, and quality of growth. However, equally I found that it is regularly defined and re-defined by how it is used, utilised, communicated with, and objectified by others (in this instance others would be anything outside of the self that relates to or interacts with the body). As I plastered the butcher paper cut-out onto the canvas face with gesso, the edges began to smear and blur. Immediately, I had to consider what that meant for my body. The drawing Jeff did of my figure was inaccurate. I looked thinner in the calves and rounder at the head. Wondering what it might be like to do the whole thing again, I mused, could I ever be happy with a butcher paper drawing of myself? Probably not. Since I was about eleven or twelve years old I have been somewhere between mildly and frighteningly discontented with my physical self. My lips were never full enough, my waist not tight enough, there was always something needing editing about my figure and face. So why did I expect that my feelings about a butcher
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