My Conflict Style

1251 Words Oct 2nd, 2014 6 Pages
My Conflict Style Paper

We study conflict because if we didn't, we are more likely to keep continuing the damaging patterns we see on the job and in our homes. Making sure we understand the structure of conflict and the factors that can help or eliminate conflict such as at work with fellow employees or managers or conflict at home with a girlfriend or wife, friend, or any other family member. When we study conflict, we can see the conflict is coming or occurring and can help resolve the disputes that are happening.

I understand that every conflict style has its pros and cons, and therefore I should not flinch when after filling out the Putnam Self & Peer assessment and how it put me into the Non-Confrontational category.
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I feel we develop our styles based on the way the individuals we interact with respond. I was not completely surprised to see that my fiancé and family both agree on their view of my conflict style. I tend to take the Non-Confrontational approach with them first and then move toward finding a solution. When I move towards finding a solution, I have learned to use “I” messages to express my concerns in a Non-Confrontational way.

When looking at how my fiancé views my conflict style compared to my own view, I wasn’t shocked. She also determined that I would be in the Non-Confrontational category, but the figures were slightly different compared to my own. With my own assessment, the highest figure was Non-Confrontational and then Solution-Orientation. With her assessment of me, it went Non-Confrontational and then Control oriented. So she views my conflict style slightly different then how I view my own. I don’t think that we have ever really narrowed it down to why we choose to go through conflicts that way. I believe that we both have always viewed conflicts as being negative and destructive instead of possibly constructive. I think we have avoided laying down a general outline of expectations and goals fearing that one would appear more in power over the other.

I have learned that I am stuck in a style that does not work well. I continuously go to the same conflict responses when involved and need to learn how to change and adapt.
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