My Dad Raped Me Essay

1723 Words 7 Pages
I'd like you to get a picture of our nice little family before I tell my story. There's dad, who is medium height, medium build, good looking, quiet, easygoing, the bread winner of the family. There's mom who stays home to take care of the three kids. There's me, the oldest, my sister who is one year and three months younger than me, and my brother. We live in a small community, mostly middle class, but with some working class families thrown in (we were one of them). Nice house, yard, a car, a truck, a few snow machines, a couple boats. Can you see us? Do you have a picture in your mind?

Now watch as the picture changes. The outside looks the same. The players are all the same. But there are things going on behind the walls of that
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As part of the next step the hands fondled my breasts through the bra. Over and over. Then he would touch my naked breasts by putting his hand inside the bra. Next he pushed my bra up out of the way. Playing with my nipples. Over and over. Then he looked at, touched and put his mouth on my breasts. The next logical step was for him to remove my top. Then my top and my bra. You got the picture? Routine. Slow, gradual changes. Nothing rushed. No threats. No intimidation. Just routines. Every day for weeks on end. Every night. Every chance he could get me alone. I turned 12, then 13. Routine, like eating and sleeping and going to school.

Next came his attempt to put his hand down my pants. I resisted, he backed off, until the next time. Again and again, until, finally, as before, I just didn't resist. He never said anything when I resisted, but his attitude towards me changed. He would ignore me. Not look at me. Not smile at me. Act like I didn't exist. In a house where he was the only one acknowledging my existence, it meant everything to me that he notice me. That he love me. So I quit resisting. That first time his hand slid down and just touched my panties. Again and again. Then one day I had on pajamas, no panties. So when he put his down my pants, he touched my bare skin, my private area. From then on even if I had panties on he would go inside them too. Again and again. Over and over. Then the jeans or pajamas came down. And

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