"For once, just this once, can you stop blaming everybody for your foolish mistakes, mum. They have helped you so much, and all you 're doing is complaining about what they have not done?" It was the middle of 8th grade when the argument with my mother started. I can not really give an exact date because to tell you the truth, I do not remember. What I do remember is that it was on a Sunday evening, and everyone was in their usual corners: the aunts upstairs, the uncles in their own room, my mother downstairs, and I in my aunt 's room. A Sunday evening at my house is, typically, well always, quiet. Besides, it doesn 't even have to be a Sunday for it to be dull. It has just always been. This particular Sunday, though, was different from any other Sunday at my house. I do not know what compelled me to go downstairs to my mother, but as I went to her I had a bad feeling that something was going to happen. I do not know how to explain it. My chest just started to pound out of nowhere, my palms were getting sweaty, and my hands were shaking. I do not know why I did not stop when I go to the entrance of her room. I turned the knob, and casually walked down the stairs. The sight in front of me was not shocking at all. I saw my mother running around her small space like a mad woman cleaning imaginary messes in her room. For some reason, that was quite comical to me. The thing about my mother when she used to clean her imaginary messes, she always added something extra to
I started to breathe heavily and my body began to tremble. The presence got dark and all I could think about was the possibility that this could be my last performance ever, but something unexpected happen.
My house is crowded with my relatives and friends; my friends and family are here me to wish me good luck and safe journey. My heart is full of mixed emotions. I am scared and sad but excited and happy at the same time as it is my last day at my house and in my country. Tonight is my flight to America. I’m moving to America, to be with my husband and to start a new journey of my life. I remember everything from my last day in Pakistan. I have never been way from my house before. I have always been surrounded by my friends and cousins. My friends have always been with me in my good and bad times and I cannot imagine a day without them. I never thought of leaving them. I didn’t realize how my life would change because of a ‘yes’. My childhood friend Sadiq, who moved to America ten years ago, asked me to marry him. Everyone in my family liked him so without thinking of anything else I said yes to him and we got married in a year, when he visited Pakistan. We were really excited to spend our lives together. What I didn’t realize until the moment I was at the airport that I am going to a new country, where I don’t know anyone other than my husband. I’m leaving all my family and friends here in Pakistan. I didn’t know how to react anymore now, I was sad and crying as I entered airport but I also felt happy inside my heart. When I was at the airport with my family, my grandma kept saying to me, “you have to call us at least three times a day when you get there.” My mom said, “Take
The day was February 11, 2007. I had just woken up. I went to my closet to get ready for the day, threw on some clothes and went into the kitchen. The day was dark, the atmosphere had an unusual dreariness to it. My mom was in the kitchen making breakfast for my brother, cousin and I. That is when the phone rang. Every day, every hour that phone rings. I never thought my mom ever gets off of it. My mom picks up the phone and it was like a movie, someone calls and receives horrible news and drops the phone from shock. That was this scenario. My mom could not get off the phone any quicker. She calls for everyone to hurry up and get in the car, dressed or in pajamas. I knew something was terribly wrong, did my father die from a plane crash, or did my grandma fall?
I could hear my breathing as if it was a voluntary action. As I saw my mom car come screeching into the driveway, she rushed out, I ran up to her as I tearfully asked, "Is he okay?" With hesitancy and a sorrow- filled voice she said, "He's dead," I screamed over and over again, "No, no, not my brother! Anyone but him!" and I broke down crying, I felt as if I was paralyzed, I felt like I was suffocating; as if a giant hand was clamped around my heart, I wanted to run, I wanted to scream, I wanted for it to not be
I could feel my body temperature rising, my hands perspiring, my breathing become more rapid, and my eyes starting to feel heavy. My mind raced evaluating every sound, laugh, and conversation. I tried to act normal do what the voice made me think I should do, but there I was 11 years old sitting alone crying, trying to make it all stop.
I took long dreadful steps downstairs and see my mother sitting on the couch doing something kids would run away to.
On August 9, 2009 I was at my usual Sunday morning church service when I started to feel some unusual anxiety. My heart started pounding during the service, and after a few minutes it would stop. I had never felt this way, and before I knew it the service was almost over. The pastor gave the altar call, and I headed to the altar. The funny thing was that I had never been to the altar by myself; when I did go I went with my parents. This time,
My heart started pounding faster and louder than it was before. I was starting to wonder if they could hear my heart racing.
I was starting 6th grade, my mom and my dad, who had divorced when I was almost three, started a custody battle over me. I loved both my mom and my dad, and had been living both with my mom and with my dad, each parent getting me every other weekend and after school half of each week. At the time, both my mom and my dad lived in Virginia, but when my mom moved to South Carolina, my dad moved to Wisconsin. From that point, my dad said he wanted custody of me. Mom thought I would be happier living mainly with her. What followed was an intense custody battle, which the judge who decided said was the worst he had ever seen. Whenever I was with my dad, he talked bad about my mom, and, while my mom refrained from talking bad about my dad, I could tell she was very stressed. Both of my parents were too busy with the custody battle to really spend a lot of time with
My mother was highly stressed and worried about me I remember her telling me that every time she hears a siren from either a cop or an ambulance her heart would pump really fast because she was thinking that I might be that person in the ambulance or handcuffed behind a cop's car.
My life was flashing before my eyes, I was realizing what was happening death was coming. Cold and stillness filled the room while the feeling of death started to overtake my body it was a different feeling but it had to come. My limbs felt heavy and I thought real slow everything was slowing down. Just then something odd happened like nothing I ever thought some sound came into the room an annoying buzzing creature.
Driving to Long Beach with my family, I watched the trees and cars zoom past. Suddenly, as my heart began to pound throughout my whole body, I felt my chest and throat tighten and my muscles stiffen. My brain shut out my surroundings and focused on the panic setting in. Sweat dripped down my palms as I gripped the car handle so tightly my knuckles turned white. Disorientation followed and I was consumed by fear, transported to an empty, helpless space. I had passed the thin line that separated composure and panic. By the time we got to the apartment, I was relieved to have a change of surroundings as I stumbled out of the car. I was shaking when I got out and rushed inside the apartment to calm myself down.This was one of many more panic attacks
The whole time I was trying to push away the feeling I had and only hope for the best. I wanted my mom out of pain. I wanted her to run again. I finally convinced myself there was nothing to worry about, but the gut feeling never
One time I felt my heart beating so fast that I had to pressed my palm against the left side of my chest because I was afraid it’s going to jump out. And my eyes were so red and dry even though I did not rub them at all.
It was September 11th, I had just gotten to work and I was headed to my office. I sipped my coffee as people in the halls welcomed me back. I had been sick and I had to miss about a week of work. Today was my first day back. When I reached my office it felt pretty good to finally be back.