My Depression Monologue

“It gets better”, is always a cliché saying for someone with depression to hear. The constant reminder that it can just “go away”, but it doesn’t. It stays with you as long as you’re alive. When people say that they have a broken arm, everyone flocks to them, wanting to put their signature onto the cast. If you say you have depression, they run the other way. People don’t want to be around somebody, who is stereotyped to self-harm, always cry, and look sad. Depression isn’t always that case. It’s this feeling of constant sadness that you always mask over with a bright smile, broken eyes, and the daily “I’m fine”’s.

Joe listen to me these addictions will end up killing you one day. You shouldn’t be doing anything like this you’re way better than this. One day you’ll have kids of your own and they’ll look at you and you will end up in shock. Please stop all of this nonsense please I beg you my son. Don’t do such

Find me in the ashes of death and lets rise together as one breath I plead to be forever yours, I never want to let you go cause you give me a reason to live without regretting the past fight, I've a heavy heart you complete me, cause I've nowhere else to go, you make my homeless soul fulfilled like the sun will rise your hugs reminds me everything will be alright I don't where to go since you left me in the snow, I'm all cold where did you go to leave me so low, why did you leave me to die, I'm bleeding alone without your eyes, you're the lyrics to my music, the chords to the melody of pain the beat to my joy lay your heart into mine let's drink each other's love like wine, I want to be the darkness and light lets fight this thing

The depression is overwhelming. I cry uncontrollably. At its worst, I cannot move. Gravity seems to have added weight tenfold. I wake up in my bed, struggling to get out. I am unable to. Breathing hurts. I try to cry out for help, but I cannot move my mouth to form the words in my disgusted mind. I am trapped in my own head. I am trapped in my own body, a body that is entirely numb.

Hey, how are you all doing out there ? Well, me I have just been trying to stay healthy and keep my head high so I can make it back to the only thing I have and that’s you all “my family”. I try not to think about you all too much because when I think about what's going on out there it makes me mad and I am so tired ‘’omg’’. We don't eat that much during war but when we get back to the base we eat pretty good, well actually really good. I notice that a lot of people donate food and medicine and first-aid kits too. I just got an Lee-Enfield rifle and it's a pretty nice gun, it can hold 10 bullets. I just been waiting to use it on, Germany, Austria-Hungary and the Ottoman Empire against the Allied forces of Great Britain, and there are some

“I’m not changing everything about me to cater to some guy I don’t even know.” Or like, I added in my head.

Depression has been an ongoing battle in my life and I have pushed every form of help that was handed to me. Instead of dealing with my feelings, a pushed them down. Now, we all know what happens if you take a bottle full of soda and shake it up. You take the top off to let some of that sugary goodness out, and it explodes all over you. The soda bottle is me, the soda is all of my feelings and thoughts that I keep buried inside, and the shaking is any emotionally stressful situation you can think of.

I’m proud of my family. I’m proud that my dad’s hard work and dedication have allowed him to accomplish his dream of owning a restaurant, I’m proud that my mom graduated high school, and I’m proud that my family succeeded in finding their own version of the American Dream.

Nor do I have the same emotional resilience or strength. There is already too much uncertainty around me which now makes me anxious (that will hopefully pass) which is detrimental to everything in my life. I don't have any expectations of you,  nor am I making any demands of you but merely just asking. What do you really want from me if anything? (you never know whatever that is it might be OK). Too many people I care about have and are disappearing from my life, so I would just like to know where I am with you at least for now, so the ground under my feet quakes a little less and I can reduce my level of worrying. I’ve probably said more than

1. No matter how hard we try to prepare ourselves for challenging experiences and try to stay positive, it becomes harder to do than planned when the time comes. It was the end of the last semester and I was on the verge of emotional depression that totally overwhelmed me. During the exam period, I wasted my weekends on the Internet, chatting and Facebook-ing. I needed to submit an important paper on Tuesday morning. On Sunday night, after wasting so much time of mine and having a little red eyes because of so much exposure to electronic screens, I sat down to write my paper. Only then did I realize that the paper was due the next morning, not on Tuesday. I was extremely nervous because it was too little a time to finish it. Moreover, I was so angry with myself that I wanted to cry. It was a realization that I was off course in my study habits and that I had not overcome my habit of willingly putting myself in difficult positions. The more I thought about being in that mess, the angrier I got with myself. I got even angrier thinking about how it was not the first time in my life that I put myself in such a situation. I could not concentrate on my paper because of that emotional response. Then suddenly I thought that I just needed to talk to someone and calm down. I called my classmate and just told her about everything. She said that the instructor had actually extended the deadline until Thursday. It was such a relief. I thanked her profusely and decided

Angel Salazar Don't let me down Crashing, hit a wall Right now I need a miracle Hurry up now, I need a miracle Stranded, reaching out I call your name but you're not around I say your name but you're not around I need you, I need you, I need you right now

isolating myself gets easier as the days go by I want to need you again I need to want you more than ever foreign sounds turn heads and your voice is turning mine your face has brightened but why does it dim when you look at me you've changed and I've changed but my skin still raises from the draft at the cross roads where I sold my soul to see you again all i'm asking is for you to detonate my heart if I looked into your eyes would you recognize me? it's only been a year but hurt has aged me quite some

I was innocent and sweet Didn’t know the world I was a shell Empty, and all alone Nowhere to call home Where could I go?

Why must everything be about you? How will I know, then? We,

Im enraged that this earth is going to burn to its ashes from climate change and us