My Eulogy In My Family

They (my family and doctors), for the first night, weren’t sure if I would make it or not. I was touch and go, because my oxygen level couldn’t be stabilized. I would be on oxygen and my level would be normal, but as soon as they took me off, my level would fall again. However, they had to stabilize me before they could do any kind of surgery. During this time, I think my dad as well as everyone involved got a taste of what it means that any moment, any day could be anyone’s final moment. My dad stayed every night with me. The first night, my heart quit beating twice. The first time, my dad said, “She’s a fighter, she can get through this.”. Then it happened again and my dad fell on his knees saying, “God, please don’t take her now!”. I ended up practically living in SICU for 3½ weeks, just trying to become stable enough, so I could make it somewhere else. Both my mom and dad had to become durable power of attorneys, so they could decide what my treatments would

I received the news, that my mother had no chance to live and one doctor, placed his hand on my shoulder and sighed loudly with discomfort. He said,” she is not a candidate for any treatment.” I stormed into the ICU room, and held my mother’s hand; she glared at me, unconsciously. I couldn't help but hold back my emotions, so I could be strong for our family. As my eyes were helplessly filling up with tears, I couldn't help but to look around at the doctors and nurses working diligently, and doing the best they could for my mother. At the moment, I remembered the sacrifices that were made to help my mother and how saving lives was my calling from God. Thankfully, my mother survives but only at a twenty percent ejection

In the autumn of 2013 my beloved grandmother suffered from many medical complications. After discovering esophageal cancer, surgery to remove it caused a tear in her esophagus, which led to numerous health hazards. As a result, the cancer spread throughout my grandmother’s bloodstream and it was impossible to maintain her health. By October of the same year, she fought to maintain her optimistic personality that I admired so dearly as a child. There was nothing more the doctor’s could do and while she wasn’t able to speak clearly, she understood the circumstances completely. As my mother asked her if she was ready to rest she pointed up to the heavens with her eyes closed. As we said our goodbyes she was given morphine until she was no longer with us. To force my grandmother to suffer and endlessly wait for healing would have been selfish of us. It is hard for those of us who are healthy to consider death as a logical option in crucial situations. While it is a difficult concept to grasp, in certain circumstances it is the better

Unexpectedly, my father called and with an unsteady voice explained, “I had to take your mother to the emergency room, and she is now being admitted to the hospital.” At age 13, this phone call began the most dreadful time of my life. Prior to this event, I was exceedingly dependent on my parents and even struggled with separating from them. In the beginning of my mother’s hospital stay, my familymy parents and two, younger sisters were constantly divided. My father stayed in the hospital with my mother, while my sisters and I would switch between caring family members and friends. Eventually I grew tired of different environments and decided that staying home alone was the far better option. As a result, I appreciate independence and know how to solely maintain a home.

This hospital is affiliated with Compassionate Care Hospice, which allowed me to meet Nancy. Nancy pleasantly confirmed consent for me to interview her over a span of two days. Nancy has been diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer. The first memories Nancy could recall was when she was four years old. She is the eldest of three sisters and she grew up on a farm in New Jersey. She remembers learning how to milk a cow, her father taught her. She grew up with a mother and a father. Her mother was strict but still a loving woman. Her father was the head of the household, the only male, and “he ran the show”. Her sisters were both younger, one is two years younger and the other is four years younger. Nancy’s grandmother died of lung cancer when she was ten years old, her grandmother was of great importance to her. Church was a huge part of her life, she grew up as a Roman Catholic. She has had the measles three times and the chicken pox. She never had any dangerous accidents or was ever in a dangerous situation. Nancy enjoyed being a girl and loved playing with her

I watched as my family said goodbye as a I lay in my hospital bed, breathing raspily. I told them that I loved them. I tried to reach out for my mother’s hand, but was stopped by the short slack of all the tubes and wires connected to me. She comes closer so she can hold my hand, so she can comfort me in my last moments.

In the year of 2014, it was a hard time for my family and me. Throughout the whole year of 2014, my grandpa was in and out of the hospital weeks turning into months at a time. He was the healthiest man, but that year really took a toll on him, which resulted in him extended hospital stays. Throughout the whole year, the nurses became so close with the family seeing how they would conversate with our family so much. The nurses provided so much security and assurance within their scope of practice within my grandpa’s hospital stays. It was the nurses in the room late nights and early mornings keeping my grandma and family company, displaying their empathy and treating us like their very own family. We all shared laughs, prayers, hugs, and cries all while concluding their job duties. The words spoken by Maya Angelou, “I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but will never forget how you made them feel.” From every doctor, nurse to janitorial staff that had an encounter with my grandpa and my

I remember the moment my uncle came to pick me up in class. My family wanted me to visit my father. I knew he was in the hospital for an allergic reaction. Many days had passed since I saw him last. Seeing him in the intensive care unit was terrifying. Large blisters covered his body from head to toe. Several had broken down to purple-black sores that looked like his body had burned. Skin swelled up and was oozing all over. Doctors had connected him with machines with tubes all over on his body. I felt he wasn’t coming back home. However, as the days elapsed, he improved, doctors removed the tubes and in fifteen days he returned to baseline. The fact he survived from such a severe reaction astonished me. This incident had a

could not believe what she was seeing. Her best friend broke into her house to take her

Finally, the nurse came and allowed us entrance to one of our worst nightmares. There the whole family stood with the understanding that they were taking the ventilator off and this could be the last time we would ever see this amazing woman. Each grandchild took their time getting one last hug and saying goodbye. I stood waiting my turn thinking how could I ever possibly whisper into words the gratitude and admiration I had for this wonderful woman. The whole room was on edge trying to be strong for each other. Eventually it was my Aunt Julia’s turn. As she stood there holding my grandmother’s hand crying saying, “Momma, it’s your little girl, please wake up, I know you can do it, you’re strong enough”. I thought my heart would explode. Then, as my dad, the strongest man I know, went over to pull her away from the bedside he began to sob as well. This was almost unbearable to witness without making a scene. I gazed out the window with a desire to be anywhere but in that horribly bleak room facing this unimaginable tragedy with my family that was full of life and laughter. When my Aunt Julia finally was composed once again and acknowledged once again that this was God’s will she said fo the last time, “It’s okay, I understand you are tired. I love you”. The whole room seemed to begin to spin and true mourning was awaken in my soul for this amazingly wonderful woman that held such a

When I saw my aunt and uncle walk into the waiting room, fresh tear stains streaked upon their cheeks, I knew. When my uncle opened his mouth to say something and nothing came out but a child like squeal, my heart was torn in half. When someone finally said the words ‘she’s gone’ to the family members that had just arrived, getting my extremities cut off of my body one by one would have most certainly hurt less. I shut down and sat in that too clean smelling hospital room, little by little people began to say their good-byes to each other and leave, while I just sat. My grandpa walked in and I looked up at the red neon clock on the wall to see that a hour had passed. Without saying a word, he motioned and walked with me out of the room to the end of the hallway where my sister and cousin were sitting. The corner where the four of us sat, you could look out the windows into a sea of city

As early as childhood, I have been surrounded by wonderful role models that have influenced my talent of taking care of people. Though my grandmother, aunt, and sister are all nurses and have been role models through this journey, I know that my greatest inspiration to choose a profession of healing was my grandfather. Memories of my greatest companion flood my mind. Old age came with very few repercussions for him, as my grandfather was a strong man. His longevity surprised many in the healthcare field as he lived to ninety-nine on Cheetos, salt, and lack of anything green. I believe his long life was attributed to his daily exercise and loving wife. My grandfather was nearly indestructible, which is why the decline in his health took everyone by surprise. It all started with a case of pneumonia discovered by me at the young age of twelve. I saw my grandfather’s face turn blue and helplessly I screamed for my mother in confusion and fear. For the following months, I assisted my grandmother and mother in taking care of all my grandfather's need. I would watch as he would take medication upon medication and question why his health was still declining. My faith assisted me in the acceptance of my grandfather’s death and taught me that one cannot save every patient. Sometimes the best thing, and the only thing, you can do is give love, comfort, and a hand to hold. While that lesson

The doctors could not save him. My heart ached, and I wanted to run away instead of facing the cruel reality that my dad was not going to walk out of this hospital today or ever again. I cried hopeless tears as my mom slowly carried me to the far corner of the hospital where my dad had been placed by doctors hours before. When we reached the doorway to his room, I froze with hatred and anger. I could not comprehend why the doctors had no power or ability to fix the situation. I felt helpless and did not want to go inside the room where my dad was being held captive by countless wires and machines. However, I crawled onto the foot of the bed and held my dad’s legs as he continued taking shallow breaths. Ultimately, that is where I remained until a nurse came in several hours later to confirm he had passed

I had just gotten home from band practice, my body sweating, my legs sore. I saw my parents sitting in the illuminated kitchen; everything was silent. All I could hear was the faulty faucet, dripping every second. They stared at me and tried to speak, but they could not seem to get the words out. I felt hot, yet cold, as chills ran down my back. The response I received after asking what was going on determined my upcoming fate. I still recollect the day I found out, August 10, 2015, the day I realized everything was going to change.

At the age of fifteen, I knew I wanted to walk my own path. I was very close to my grandparents when I was younger and we did everything together. On December 11, 2008 my grandmother was coming to the end of a long hard fight with ovarian cancer. A hospice, Julie, was always in the house checking my grandmother’s conditions as she was in a coma. On this particular night I remember Julie taking my grandpa into the kitchen and him running up the stairs after she came out. I knew that this represented bad news for our family. Julie sat at my grandmother’s bed side with me through the night. She comforted me as I was mourning the passing of my grandmother. How Julie was able to balance her care for me and my grandmother that night was amazing. Julie gave me hope and reminded me that I would always have my grandmother in my heart.