My Experience At The First Time Essay

1345 WordsDec 7, 20166 Pages
One weekend I went out with friends for the first time since returning to campus from winter break. It was also the first time I smoked weed since breaking up with him, and I had also been drinking that night. I did have fun; my friends looked out for me and dropped me of in my dorm. But once I was in my room, he contacted me wanting to talk. Up until then we had not been in communication because he expressed having no desire to talk to me after “what I did” to end the relationship. I was aware of my state and told him I was not sober. Apparently neither was he, which would supposedly make us “talking” better cause it would be more “honest”. So he comes over and I let him in. I have so many regrets, but I also know that my decisions while under the influence did not give him the permission to do what he did. I let him into my room, I let him talk to me because I could not respond with what I wanted to say to him in my state, I let him kiss me because I could not resist him…and he took it further than I wanted to go. A week later, I confided to one of my Academic Deans about what happened and an Order of No Contact was put into place. The experience sent me on an emotional spiral. I had difficulty focusing on schoolwork, eating, sleeping in my room, walking around campus alone and getting my mind off of him. The clinic became my worst nightmare. I had my first panic attack while the nurses attempted to insert the speculum in me to collect evidence of his fluids

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