My Experience In High School

I never expected I’d spend the first two years of high school bedridden and suicidal. I was born and raised in Elmhurst, Queens. Attending the same school from kindergarten to 8th grade, I was used to being in the same environment. I was given assurance when my friends consistently told me that I was lucky and that I would be able to adapt to high school life fairly quickly — I was the outgoing one, the one who made everyone laugh.

It was freshman year in high school, and I was ecstatic about the fact that I can officially refer to myself as a high school student. However, not everything was perfect, nor filled with sunshine and rainbows. It was just two weeks into the school year when I faced my first arduous obstacle.

I remember the first day I started high school I was so nervous. As a kid I always remember I would had an anxiety problem for almost every little thing. I wake ever morning nauseated, even though there was nothing to worry about because I mean after all it was just school. I remember thinking damn I just got out of middle school here goes another 4 long school years. But what I didn’t know was that those years would go by so fast. After all like everyone says, a lot happens in 4years. On my first day everything was amazing. I had made new friends, so far I liked all my teachers, and I got into this Culinary Arts class that I didn’t even know I liked. I learned so much in Culinary, Everyday I would go in excited to see what I would learn the next.it amazed me so much I even started to help my mom cook, I learned so much in so little so that’s when I discovered I had a passion for learning how to cook and for food. I can honestly say I’m so glad I got into that class because now I know how to cook a little bit of Italian thanks to my culinary class and to wonderful godfather who is an excellent chef in New York City. I learn a lot from my mother who I’m forever thankful I just don’t tell her as much. Thanks to her I learn how to cook almost all kind of Mexican food, I learn how to be a little more responsible, I got into finishing my Diploma.

As I begin my final year of high school, I reflect back onto my last graduation. I consider myself lucky to have attended a unique educational program. The school I attended for 9th grade wasn’t traditional. It was a 25 student Montessori program, serving grades 7-9, in accordance with Maria Montessori’s 3-year education system. I was in 7th grade when I entered the program from a traditional school, and I had never seen anything like it. Whether students were bringing back vegetables from the farm next door, cooking coffee cake for their peers to enjoy, feeding our flock of 5 chickens, or ordering this week’s office supplies - I knew I wanted to be a part of it. Yes, we had the traditional math, science, English, history and language classes, but the unique practical life aspects made it so much more than just a traditional school setting. It was a community full of opportunity and new experiences. This new take on education sparked a love for learning that I will carry with me for years to come.

“I’m only going to college to party!” This is a phrase I’ve heard more times than I’d have liked during my time in high school. It’s always followed by a round of raucous laughter something that has always floored me. Of course, it isn’t my job to judge the motives of my peers, but the nonchalant response always seems to get my blood boiling. For me, college has always been an exciting prospect; a wider scope of information, different points of view, freedom to learn. Ever since I first entered my educational journey, I have been drawn to bettering myself, educating myself, and making myself into a more knowledgeable person. I find myself most comfortable around people who possess different ideas and skills, and enjoy learning new things, no matter how trivial.

At first there is nothing, it is dark. The only visible lights are the blue glows emitted from the work bulbs, and a small yellow line of light seeping in from under the grand curtain. I am in a frozen scene, a life, a story that is not my own. It is as if all the people around me turned to stone, and there I stood among them trying not to shake. The grand drape begins to squeak as it slowly glides open. For a moment the faces in the crowd looking up at me are visible, and the spotlights come on. Breaking the silence, the frozen statues and I begin to blink and come to life. This is how every performance began in the theatre productions I participated in at my high school. Theatre gave me an outlet to escape reality while creating a beautiful piece of art amongst newly blossoming friendships.

It was the beginning of a new cycle. Every year was similar to the last. I would wake up Monday through Friday at 7:30am despising my past self for staying up so late playing video games or watching videos. Then I would take a shower, eat breakfast, and be driven to school. Once summer break would begin and I would stay up all night and sleep during the day. Then near the beginning of the school year my anxiety would strike, from me thinking of meeting new teachers and knowing if I would have any friends in my classes. This day changed all of that in the blink of an eye. It was May 14th, 2017, the day of graduation.

After 3 years of crawling my way up from the bottom and finally reaching the top, I’d say that I’ve learned quite a bit about the ins and outs of high school. I remember being a freshman, looking at all the seniors and thinking, “I know way more than these people give me credit for”, but over time, I realized that I knew about as much as they thought I did, which was nothing. I wish that I could go back in time and give myself some advice.

Throughout my high school career, all I really knew was wrestling. The hard practices, making weight, and the camaraderie of all my teammates is all I cared about. I lived and breathed the sport, all thanks to a friend of mine that encouraged me to go to one practice Freshman year. Looking back now that I have graduated, like many other people I wish I could go back and do it again. I want one more match. But life goes on and I must keep going. Going through high school wrestling has shaped who I am today, the confidence I developed, the self-discipline, and the leadership qualities I learned. I am so glad I took on the sport.

“Hey, move out of my seat!” she snarled at me. “Of course princess.” I fakely replied back. But I still moved. There’s nothing else I could’ve done. I would’ve had to face another day of insults and curses hurled at me by her and her entourage’s petty mouths. It’s not like she usually sat there, it’s just because I just happened to sit in a place where all of her little minions would fit as well.

High School is a place where “ if opportunity doesn’t knock build a door.” . For many of us, high school is that daunting step where students go from a small fish in a small pond, to a slightly larger fish in a much bigger pond. It explains that how students start their career from “a small fish” meaning in the first year they are very new to high school, they have plenty of new and great things to learn and also many more ways to go through in their life. They will face some problems, will go through some positive and maybe some bad experiences, and also understand the importance of study. From these experiences everyday they grasp learning power. As they go further, they learn many things, which are interesting and beneficial to them with their career or future. I had to transition from 600 students k-8 to 3,200 students in high school.

By High school, my friend group had competently changed. I sat at a different lunch table every day and some days would eat lunch with a teacher. Making lasting friendships was hard for me partly because I was shy. I had hoped my freshman year of making new friends on the soccer team. I faced my first real disappointment in my life when I did not make varsity and I made JV. The friends I was trying to make all played on varsity and I increasingly felt more alone and not worthy. My first three years of high school were pretty bleak. I did not have a social life outside of school. My happy place was going home and binge-watching Netflix after soccer practice. My junior year of high school was the toughest. I am dyslexic and have dyscalculia, so basically that means school is really hard for me. Junior year destroyed me in the classroom and to make matters worse, I also hurt my ankle taking me out of soccer the one outlet I had. I was angry because I was finally starting to play on varsity and score. I was heading to a bad place in my mind thinking the world had a personal vendetta against me. I knew I had to do something to change the path I was on because I could not keep living as a shell of a person. I decided in an act of desperation to sign up for church camp. I did not go to church anymore and my view of God was quite skewed. I believed there was a God because believing he created the world made the most logical sense to me, but I thought he had abandoned us on earth. I

Right now I am a freshman taking both honors Biology and English. I have actually never thought about not taking honors classes before I was even in high school. I guess it has always been assumed that I would be taking honors classes and harder classes. It’s something that my parents have talked to me and my sibling about when we were little so that it could be a goal for us. The high school is different, but in a good way. We have longer passing periods, longer classes (so you can finish more work) and more opportunities such as clubs, more sports, and different classes.

Until the summer of my sophomore year, I was unquestionably shy. I was the kid whose raised hand lifted four inches off the table and who slouched over her sketches of strangers. That summer, I was forced to change.

At first I thought high school was going to be a breeze, but was not a breeze at all. The classes seem very hard for me. I tried my very best even though I thought it was hard. I gave my freshman classes my all but still getting ok grades I wanted an A on my class work but I was not getting those grades. I felt like a big failure. So I started not to care I gave up really gave up. I started not doing my work and stop participating in class. I was skipping class not giving a care in the world. I kept getting into trouble. Always in the dens office and that was just my freshman year. My report card was really unacceptable I would cry when I see my grades but I know It’s because I would skip class and not do my work. Summer was coming up school is getting to an end and I got my report cards again and I see my GPA was so horrible and my guidance consul Mr. Martin called me down to his office to talk to me about my grades and that I’m starting freshman year all over again . He was telling me to get on track, it’s not the end of the world that I can still do it if I focused on my work. So I told my guidance consul Mr. Martin I would do my best.