My Experience In High School

Both films, Run, Lola, Run directed by Tom Tykwer and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind directed by Michael Gondry, have elements of realism and fantasy incorporated into each of their stories. The contrast between realism and fantasy is explored in each film in order to capture the main themes and mise-en-scène that are shown throughout the movies. Run, Lola, Run focuses on the theme of how even the smallest of choices can impact one’s life. By comparison, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind focuses on the themes of regret and acceptance, and how these lessons can teach us ways to cope with life’s ups and downs. In each film, realism and fantasy are explored to aid in teaching the protagonists how to make the right choices and learn

Macbeth, written by William Shakespeare during the 17th century, demonstrated the idea that other characters were responsible for Macbeth’s downfall. Macbeth, once an honorable and courageous warrior was transformed into a vain and ruthless dictator, who encountered a transformation that brought him not only the crown, but his death as well. This transformation, started by three influencing factors which included: the Three Witches, Lady Macbeth, and Macduff, manipulated Macbeth into committing acts of treason and murder. Although it was Macbeth, who was to blame for his actions, it was because of these three characters who greatly promoted him to complete those crimes.

Before I truly began to walk with Jesus, I was under the impression that I always had been. I was baptized as a baby, attended the same church my entire childhood, and spouted off every Sunday school answer without missing a beat. I loved the Lord, and I understood that he was my Savior and Creator, but I did not fully understand to what capacity I had been saved and created. I was missing something, and at age thirteen I developed a serious case of perfectionism. I closely monitored what I ate, religiously worked out, and devotedly studied to obtain unbeatable grades. I practiced piano every day until my wrists hurt and would except no less than flawless performances. I was captain of the cheer squad, and often referred to as “little miss perfect.” At a young age, I had constructed an image of what I thought I should be. Behind the facade, I was extremely lonely and insecure, but assumed those feelings were just middle school angst that would subside when I entered high school.

My eyes squinted as I gazed towards the massive building that for the next four years would be my success, demise, and most importantly, my high school. As I strut to the tall glass doors, I felt so prepared, confident even. Armed with a couple of best friends, sufficient intelligence, and adequate athleticism, I was positive that everything would go perfectly. After all, high school was the place of beginnings, a place where my friends and I would battle through together; high school wasn’t the place where everything would fall apart.

High School is a place where “ if opportunity doesn’t knock build a door.” . For many of us, high school is that daunting step where students go from a small fish in a small pond, to a slightly larger fish in a much bigger pond. It explains that how students start their career from “a small fish” meaning in the first year they are very new to high school, they have plenty of new and great things to learn and also many more ways to go through in their life. They will face some problems, will go through some positive and maybe some bad experiences, and also understand the importance of study. From these experiences everyday they grasp learning power. As they go further, they learn many things, which are interesting and beneficial to them with their career or future. I had to transition from 600 students k-8 to 3,200 students in high school.

At Holland Patent High School, I am a 17 year old girl, who has understood how foolish I used to be, how impactful high school truly was for me and my personal growth, and how much I’ve really changed. I have a new outlook on life, I am more confident, and I am overall so much happier. This identity I have of myself is a combination of every single person I used to be over the years at the middle school and high school. Today, I can walk the halls of Holland Patent understanding that the high school has become like a second home to me. I changed the way I would look at school and began to enjoy it so much more. I got closer to people around me, staff or friends, and I started to enjoy learning and the high school environment again.

At first there is nothing, it is dark. The only visible lights are the blue glows emitted from the work bulbs, and a small yellow line of light seeping in from under the grand curtain. I am in a frozen scene, a life, a story that is not my own. It is as if all the people around me turned to stone, and there I stood among them trying not to shake. The grand drape begins to squeak as it slowly glides open. For a moment the faces in the crowd looking up at me are visible, and the spotlights come on. Breaking the silence, the frozen statues and I begin to blink and come to life. This is how every performance began in the theatre productions I participated in at my high school. Theatre gave me an outlet to escape reality while creating a beautiful piece of art amongst newly blossoming friendships.

Being in front of 100 people and performing, is like being in a movie when something exciting happens and everything goes in slow motion. The crowd cheering at a snail's pace, hair is frozen in the air, and it is as quiet as a mouse in church. This is how I felt on the gymnastics floor when I was trying out for All American. Me in my black and white uniform vs 60 girls to get a spot on the All American Cheerleading Team. That was the craziest week of my life.

Until the summer of my sophomore year, I was unquestionably shy. I was the kid whose raised hand lifted four inches off the table and who slouched over her sketches of strangers. That summer, I was forced to change.

Maybe it was the thought of what people felt about me, or the way I felt their glare on my back as I walked past a group of people. It could also have been the way that people stopped talking as I got closer to them and all that gave them away was the accusatory look in their eyes. The tables had turned suddenly letting me with no choice but to experience the way that other half lived. Living as a socially awkward student was difficult, but living amidst all the flying rumors was close to impossible. That fall was a life lesson that made me appreciate the friends I had and humbling me to see past the materialism that existed in the school to the vanity of it all.

By High school, my friend group had competently changed. I sat at a different lunch table every day and some days would eat lunch with a teacher. Making lasting friendships was hard for me partly because I was shy. I had hoped my freshman year of making new friends on the soccer team. I faced my first real disappointment in my life when I did not make varsity and I made JV. The friends I was trying to make all played on varsity and I increasingly felt more alone and not worthy. My first three years of high school were pretty bleak. I did not have a social life outside of school. My happy place was going home and binge-watching Netflix after soccer practice. My junior year of high school was the toughest. I am dyslexic and have dyscalculia, so basically that means school is really hard for me. Junior year destroyed me in the classroom and to make matters worse, I also hurt my ankle taking me out of soccer the one outlet I had. I was angry because I was finally starting to play on varsity and score. I was heading to a bad place in my mind thinking the world had a personal vendetta against me. I knew I had to do something to change the path I was on because I could not keep living as a shell of a person. I decided in an act of desperation to sign up for church camp. I did not go to church anymore and my view of God was quite skewed. I believed there was a God because believing he created the world made the most logical sense to me, but I thought he had abandoned us on earth. I

“So, why did you choose to come here?” a dorm proctor asked the very first time we met, right in front of my room in Bancroft Hall, which would be my new home for the next nine months. Confused and a little jet lagged, I did not respond; I nodded, smiled, and stepped back into my room. As the door closed, locking me into my little world of isolation, I thought about the question. I did not know the answer, for I did not “choose” to come to this school. In fact, I expected to attend a school in the UK. However, as a Thai Scholar, I did not have much choice but to go wherever the Thai embassy told me to go. As fate had it, I was placed in one of the most prestigious high schools: Phillips Exeter Academy.

“Sorry, I can’t. I have homework.” That was the constant excuse I used in high school when my friends asked if I wanted to hang out. Junior year of high school was a rough year for me--not only was I taking six AP classes in one year, but I was also in the marching band which dominated a lot of my time. I was so invested in all of these that I forgot how to even socialize. I would negate a lot of my friends and family who wanted to gather and just spend some time with me. Now, don’t get me wrong, this does not mean that I was a loser by any means, I loved to “hang” and party and all the typical teenager tropes. It was just that year. That one year that I screwed myself over with a crap ton of demanding classes. That one year I wish I could do all over again. That one year that would have been enormously simpler had I been amicable enough to accept other people into my life. Which leads to the situation that most strongly defines what my dilemma during my junior year: I should have gone to the movies instead.

I remembered the first day I started high school, I was so nervous. As a kid I always remember I would have an anxiety problem for almost every little thing. I wake every morning feeling nauseated even though there was nothing to worry about because I mean after all it was just school. Honestly I guess I felt like that because I care so much about what other people would think or say about me. I remembered thinking damn, I just got out of middle school here goes another 4 long year of school. It was just extremely frustrating but what I didn’t know was that those years would go by so fast. After all, like everyone says, a lot happens in 4years. On my first day everything was going fine. I had made new friends, so far I liked all my teachers, and I got into this Culinary Arts class that I didn’t even know I was going to liked, I learned so much in Culinary. Everyday I would go in excited to see what I would learn the next day. I even started helping my mom cook, I learned so much in a gnomish time that’s when I discovered I had a passion for learning how to cook. I can honestly say I’m so glad I got into that class because now I know how to cook a little bit of Italian thanks to my godfather who is an excellent chef in New York City. I learn a lot from my mother who I’m forever thankful I just don’t tell her as much. Thanks to her I learn how to cook almost all kinds of Mexican food, I learn how to be a little more responsible, I getting into finishing my Diploma.

Way back in June of 2005 I graduated from Lynbrook High School in San Jose, CA and like everyone at that age, I was looking at my future not sure what I wanted to do. I was considering attending college or a tech school only because that was what everyone was expecting me to do. I was not so eager, I watched my older brother attend college and he was having a hard time of it. He was either living at home commuting an hour and a half each way, or he lived in a small studio apartment and worked 30 hours a week to pay his bills. My brother was constantly tired from a busy school schedule or he was broke because he had to live on a strict budget. He was always struggling with his assignments because of how much he worked and a constant dread of the tens of thousands of dollars in student loans he was racking up to pay his tuition. College was their but I wanted a little more I wanted to know what else there was instead of another four years of school.