My Family And My Uncle Charles

My step-mom's mom was traeling to our house at seven o'clock in the morning. My dad, step-mom, sister, step-brother, and me were waiting at the house for her. We had some sandwiches to snack on.

Around six to three months before this tragedy occurred, my grandpa’s health had taken a turn for the worst. We would be awake at midnight, hearing him violently vomit crimson colored fluid. He couldn't get up or walk without my mother or grandma’s assistance. A brutal cough would take both his breath and voice away. Yet, he was so understanding and caring of both my brother and I. He would do everything he could to play with me or tell me a story, since he knew that I didn’t know any better. A couple months before his passing, I came home from school to find no one home except my anxious looking aunt and my then three-year old cousin. I remember running to my grandparents’ room to greet my grandparents, but when I opened the door, no one was there. I ran to my aunt and asked her where everyone was. I could see in her face that she was worried, but she tried to be as calm as possible so she wouldn’t scare me.

My family and I went home and then would head back to the reception later. My aunt, uncle and grandma arrived before we would go back. I took care of my aunts baby Ryland for a little. I went with my aunt and uncle to the reception. On the way I was  trying to get Ryland to sleep on the way.

About two years ago, my Grandmother died, two days later we were at the funeral home a couple minutes away from her house, it smelled like old people and salt, probably from the tears that were shed here. The curtains let in beams of light through the intricate design on the tops, it looked like the light beams were telling us that heaven was fetching her from her body, as my mom says. After that we hastily, but bitterly went through the process of all her daughters and her brother (my great uncle) saying their goodbyes first, then my cousins, brother, and family members from my dad's side got to say their goodbyes. My mother and aunts came out crying, I don’t know what it's like to lose a parent so I can’t apprehend what they’re going through emotionally, the only loss I’ve had before this was my fish. My younger cousins didn't understand death, they thought it just meant going to sleep, but my older cousins, brother, and I knew she wasn't going to

As a child, my brother Jean and I were not always very close, even though we are fairly close in age. As children, we went to school together and grew up learning the importance of family values, particularly the meaning of “sticking together.” Every day we walked to school together. Before we ventured off to elementary school, our mother would say, “Stick together, and Jean, listen to your big brother!” Even though I was only two years older than Jean, I knew I was responsible if anything bad were to happen to him under my watch. My brother and I were quite daring as children and did not always follow all the rules. Also, Jean was more stubborn than I and did not know when the time for play should stop. I will never forget that one frightful day when the lesson about the value of my family and sticking together changed my life.

Family provides a basis for how we interact with the world; when meeting someone new, or doing a new action, I think back on what my family has taught me. I have a large family and each member has done something that has impacted me in some way, but I have really analyzed how my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and parents have impacted my life. There are several aspects to consider however for this analysis I will be focusing on these socioeconomic events: immigration, poverty, gender, educational attainment, death, and health problems.

“Work hard, never give up, and most importantly, always stay humble and kind”, these are just a few words my father would say to me when he had the chance or felt that I needed to hear that. My mother would say, “Mickey, as long as you believe in yourself, you can do anything”. To this day, I live my life through proverbs, quotes, and advice from a variety of people. I am very family-oriented. Most of the things I do is in hopes that I can augment some type of valuable contribution to my family and others. To begin to tell my story, I will first start by talking about the people who had the biggest influence on my life.

One of the most severe trials that has ever affected my life was when I lost one of the most important people in my life, my grandmother. She was someone who had a major influence in my life, and for most of it she was very sick, in pain, couldn’t move very well she was pretty brittle in that sense. Before this severe tragedy, It never really came to my mind that someone I love could just disappear like that. During her final week of expected time to live, she was the worst, non responsive, incoherent, and suffering, all we got from her was heavy breaths. Within 1 weeks time we get the call that she had passed and we rushed over, seeing them drag away her corpse ensconced blue duffel bag was probably the hardest thing to witness. October 12th 2015, 5 days from her 90th birthday, she took her last breath. Someone who loved me, took care of me, and watched as I grew up, suddenly was gone.

As children we are born into a family in which we are chosen by God to be in. We are placed in a home, community, and an environment that makes us who we are today. Some of us must seek to overcome and grow out of the place we were born in and others are more content with where they were brought up in. As a child I was born in a good home yet fought many battles but it made me the strong soldier I am today.

It was Monday, June 9, 2014 and I'm sitting at my grandparent’s back porch having a normal conversation as I always would. We were talking about our plans and what we were going to do the next day together. It was summertime, so we were planning on going out to get breakfast around 9 A.M. at our local favorite restaurant, American Table. We continued to talk for awhile, but it was starting to get late and time to go to bed. I said my goodbyes and walked home as we were next door neighbors and only lived 15 feet away. As I lay sound asleep in my bed and morning came we were startled by the sound of pounding on our front door. My mom hurried down the stairs and to the door where my next door neighbor was frantically saying “hurry you need to go next door to your dads, something has happened.” My mom started yelling up to my brother and I to get out of bed and hurry to my grandpa's to see what was going on. What I saw as I ran next door to my grandparents is something i'll never forget. The bright flashing red and white lights of the ambulance and the EMTs rushing into my grandparents front door.

My life was stereotypical. A mom, a dad, a brother, and a dog. A nuclear family was what it was. House with a white picket fence. My days consisted of being in my fantasy world. Where stuffed animals were pets and they had their own little families. Where I spent hours finding creepy crawlies in the woods. Where watching my dad’s favorite show was considered quality time. But that fence was only an illusion. Like many other families, that white fence kept in more than just the family dog. It contained the secrets and lies. It hid the reputation of an unfaithful father. It created an illusion of unity within our family.

As a little kid I have always saw my family come together at the dinner table at the end of the day and really get together and talk about all the gossip and what things still have to be done. That was the routine and I thought it was something we were always going to do till we die but I was wrong. As sad it is to admit that good things never last it seems like this was something I came to realize was slowly but surely dying off in tradition. So who is to blame the parents, children, or the industries and society because fast food easy and quick didn’t require a homemade meal so there is less time spent at home, in the kitchen, and at the dining table with your family.

Growing up as a Mexican-American was extremely difficult for me. Unfortunately, I was born into a society were divorce was uncommon or looked down upon. Therefore, I wasn’t raised in a “stable” or “normal” family, which usually consists of a father and mother. Instead, my family was rather “odd,” it only consisted of four people; me, my single mother, my eldest brother, who is five years older than me, and my other brother, who is only two years older than me. The problem with my family, was that we did not practice “hardcore” Mexican traditions. For instance, Mexicans teach their children Spanish as their first language. This was not the case when we were being raised. My mother worked long shifts at a bank, therefore my grandparents played a significant parental role while I was growing up. My grandparents were not necessarily old, they had my mother when they were twenty years old and my mother had me when she was thirty. Thus, they were rather “young” for them to be the stereotypical Mexican grandparents.

There are things more important than money in life. As the days pass by, someone dies or is born. There are some who live their lives with nowhere to call home.Dreaming of having a place to sleep and eat and be comfortable at. There are some who live their lives, knowing that the next day they won’t be able to wake up. Hoping that they get to stay alive another day to feel the warmth of the sunshine on their face, to smell the freshly made breakfast, and to be healthy again. And there are those who live their lives with no family, dying to know how it feels to be embraced by your parents. Some people never experienced having a family. Some people, including kids were never able to stay healthy. And some people never experienced what a roof on top of their heads would be like. I am thankful to have a home where I feel secure. I am thankful to be in a healthy condition. I am thankful to have a family.

While interviewing my grandmother I have come to respect the changes her and my grandfather made within their own family. My grandmother and grandfather grew up in a home where their mothers were always cooking and their fathers were never home. Dinnertime was never a time their parents believed was important. They decided together that when they had children of their own they would make things different. My grandfather always made us breakfast and drove us to school, and no matter what meal it was my sisters and I always ate together at the table. My grandmother always did all the grocery shopping, and we would all help her prepare the dinner, set the table, and clean up. Our dinners always started with a prayer, and we would tell each other about our day. Most nights at the table were pretty rambunctious, because there are six of us in our family. One was always speaking over the other, teasing each other, and making jokes. Dinner time was relatively very fun in our household.