My Family Divorce

Divorce is not only difficult for parents, but even more difficult for the children. It can hit hard and fast but can also be built up from long term damage and stress on the marriage. Children can view their parent’s divorce in multiple ways. They can visually see it, or they can hear it. Children may also not view the divorce at all. Divorce can be sudden, confusing, and hidden. It can be a quick and relieving process, or it could be slow and painful. The relationship could be fought for night after night with little progress being made. The marriage could be fought verbally or even physically. Hurtful words are thrown to bring an end to the relationship and caring words are thrown to keep the marriage alive.

In a “The Kid’s Guide to Divorce” by Lorrie Moore, a young child is learning to cope and deal with her parent’s divorce in her own way which includes feeling the need to cater to each individual parent by selecting word choice that won’t make them feel uncomfortable. She even goes to the lengths of comparing them to scary characters on late night television which suggest that she is feeling more emotions. The story put an emphasize on the child’s perspective of what is happening and shows the true emotions of pain and temporary happiness that she is feeling internally and how she is dealing with them. It is beneficial to apply the psychological perspective to this moment of conflict within the child because divorce has a tendency to be a

There is one loss in my life that affected many aspects of my life for many years, the divorce of my parents. I was in barley entering the first grade and the tender age of five, soon to turn six, when my parents spent their last night as a married couple. I do not have many memories of my parents as a couple but I do remember the day my Daddy left. He was a policeman and I watched as his cruiser drove away from our family home. I remember my mom crying and not being willing to console me or explain to me what was happening. All I knew is there was a fight, my dad left, it seemed different than other times when he left, and my mom was crying. Everything about my life changed in the blink of a five year old’s eyes which is what makes this loss so significant in my life.

Divorce is typically a very painful and emotional experience for all parties involved. Two divorces have occurred in my life, only one of which was recent enough for me to remember. Steven Mintz, the author of “American Childhood As a Social and Cultural Construct,” mentions, “Children today grow up under different circumstances than their immediate predecessors. They are more likely to experience their parents’ divorce” (2009:53). My mother and father divorced when I was two years old. Due to my age at the time of the divorce, I do not know anything about the divorce from experience. I only know what I have been told about the divorce because I was too young to remember it happening. Over time, my mother became unhappy with my father’s “workaholic” attitude. He averaged

“What you are afraid to do is a clear indication of the next thing you need to do.” (-Ralph Waldo Emerson). My parent´s divorce has shaped and influenced my whole life, with a lot of side effects. I fell into a state of depression. I learned not to dwell on the bad things in life. I found a person within myself that I could live with for a while, a kid that I could be proud of, someone I wouldn’t hate. Over the years, I’ve changed, little changes, big changes, it’s all happened, and I am who I am today because of it. Not all crummy circumstances stay awful, even though it may feel like it. I can’t tell if I’ve changed for the better or the worse, but everything starts with something, one thing. My parent´s divorce shaped me into who I am today, whether the changes were good or bad, little or big, this has changed me.

The statistics for divorce in the 1990's suggest that nearly sixty percent of marriages end in divorce. Given this startling figure, the assumption can be made that many children will experience some effects caused by the life-changing event called divorce. What is it exactly about divorce that causes negative consequences for these children? In what ways will these children be effected? Will these effects show outwardly? I will attempt to uncover some of the complexities surrounding these psychological questions in the following text. The unsettling fact is: young children of divorced parents face great psychological challenges due to the environmental conditions and changes associated with divorce (Wolchik and Karoly 45).

The rapid epidemic of divorce in the United States within the last 20 years has affected more than one half of the families in the United States. In the past, we have viewed divorce as a short term crisis and not as a longitudinal view of the effects divorce might bring. Divorce does affect children. However, it is not the divorce that is the problem; it is the ongoing conflict between the parents and the child’s coping mechanisms in their own stages of development. Counseling, family therapy, and also having a divorce mediation are all successful ways of coping with the family.

Divorce causes many problems for children and has many implications. Psychological implications include mental health problems and behavioral problems. Social roles are turned inside out and upside down. Children are often pulled in many directions. In the United States divorce is very common and often leaves children confused and without options. Many turn toward violence, crime, drugs, and isolation. Studies show how adults can reduce the tension for these children. Other

Divorce is a topic that most commonly involves feelings of anger, conflict, anxiety, sadness or depression for all parties involved in the process of divorce (American Psychological Association, 2012). Research suggests that the divorce is not the direct cause of children’s problems, but rather miscommunication that can happen along side the divorce (Afifi, Granger, Joseph, Denes, & Aldeis, 2015; Stallman & Sanders, 2014). The risks of problems do increase when children are drawn into their parent’s conflict (Stallman & Sanders, 2014). Risks include the loss of contact with a parent, experience of significant environmental changes, or strain on parent-child relationship.

Divorce is becoming all too popular in our society today. When a couple experience tough times or have one too many arguments, they automatically think divorce. Despite its prevalence couples are not prepared for it’s long, drawn out, hurtful process. Divorce does not only hurt the individuals involved, it also affects the children tremendously. While many people don’t think divorce is a bad thing. Hollywood makes divorce look cool and uneventful. When in all reality, it is disruptive. Some people would say that divorce is a lazy way out of a marriage; the cowardly thing to do when a situation presents itself. Divorce is not the only answer to marital problems, in most cases.

To say that I have lived a mild and boring life is an understatement. There have not been many, what I would call, substantial, life-changing moments that I have gone through in my 44 years that I am sure several others have not experienced as well. From meeting my wife to the birth of my son, everyone can connect to a lot of the same experiences in life. When I reflect on my life thus far, the one that truly stands out is one that I am sure many others in this class have unfortunately had to experience as well. However, the divorce of my parents when I was young not only changed my life as far as where I am today, it also did so by bringing me even closer to the two people that made me who I am.

In the last two decades divorce has increased substantially leaving couples single and families broken. Divorce is the reality for many families as there is an increase in divorce rates, cohabitation rates, and the number of children raised in step and single marital families. Divorce cannot be overlooked as it negatively affects and impacts youngsters for the rest of their lives. Although it is the decision between two parents’s children are hurt the most in the process. The concept of divorce is extremely difficult for children to understand as there are many unanswered questions and uncertainties. “Will my mom or dad remarry and who will I live with?” are concerns children express while going through divorce. Many

Each and every day a child somewhere in the world is experiencing major changes within their family. One of those major changes is divorce or separation of parents. Divorce is “the action or an instance of legally dissolving a marriage”(Webster, 2011 p1). Today’s reality shows that couples only have one in two odds of remaining together. “ The U.S. Census bureau – involved in research about counseling children of divorce- estimating that approximately 50% of all American children born in 1982 lived in a single-parent homes sometime during their first 18 years. Mostly are due to divorce”(Children of Divorce, 2008 p.1). The rapid increase in divorce rates is a factor that has contributed to the large decline of the typical family. “Over 1

Whenever I hear people talking about divorce, or hear phrases such as “broken family” I want to either comfort or correct the person. I am able to set aside the sliver of pain that resides in the back of my head and realize all the wonderful things that have come out of my parent’s separation. I was pretty young when my parents started to have constant arguments but never really put the pieces together on my own. My worst childhood memories are not of scraped knees or broken bones but a broken heart. What had happened? What had I done? I can now confidently say that all the difficult times my parents’ divorce put me through have helped to bring my family together, separately. It left me with countless life lessons and the realization that things can always be worse. My parents’ divorce not only brought me severe pain but strength. It’s helped me to grow as an individual and I want to always remember that this is how things were meant to be.

Divorce is a plague that is destroying numerous families across the United States of America. Sadly, when husbands and wives divorce, the children are often caught directly in the middle. Throughout the years divorce has been becoming more and more common. In the 1920's it was a rare find to know a person whom had been divorced, today it is a rarity not to know of one who has been, or will be divorced. Divorce has numerous effects on the structures of families, and many devastating effects on the children that must experience it, although sometimes necessary, divorce radically changes the lives of adolescents and adults alike.