a choked sob escaped my throat as i curled up on the empty bed, the ache in my chest not seeming to calm down. i felt so alone, and so wrong. he wasn't here anymore, and i wasn't able to talk to him. he was the only one who knew that i was transgender, and he seemed to be he only person who could cheer me up when i needed it.
i longed to hear his voice, to tell me that'd it would be okay eventually. but when you have an extremely religious family who you know won't be supportive of basically any of your choices, you're stuck and lost. all i want is a dick - and connor. was that too much to ask?
apparently, it was.
i lied when i said he was the only one who knew. my parents found out somehow, and immediately blamed connor for it. my family
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we met in about second grade, us both being the extremely annoying and curious children we were, we ended up as friends. the thing that pissed me off however, was how people always pointed out that he was a boy and i was a girl. that we had to be dating.
there were a few things that bothered me about this statement. just because two people were really close didn't mean that they had to like one another. i've never really thought that way about connor, nor do i plan on it. he's too close of a friend to me for me to actually have a crush on him.
and then there's the fact that i'm not a girl, but i couldn't blame them for that. at that time, i was probably just as confused as any 7 year old would be. i just assumed that it was normal to have pretty much all guy friends, and to really want to look like them too. that maybe it was just a phase like everyone around me had told
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"what do you mean." i replied in a monotone voice, trying not to break down right then and there. she knows.
"connor is calling you troye? tiana, that's not your name, we've been over this several times.."
"why do you care?" i spat, my voice a little louder now. i cannot believe her, god, why is she like this? "you never seem to give two shits - "
"do not use that language in this household!"
" - about my feelings, and you never have. so stop pretending to be the caring mother that everyone knows you aren't, and just beat me down like you always have." i noticed the hurt look on her face, yet i still continued on. "i'm troye. i always have been, and you, of all people, should know that. i've told you that i've wanted short hair and 'guy' clothes since forever, yet you continued to doll me up like your little princess. why can't you just listen to me for once?" i knew that i was crying now, i could feel the heat on my face and the pain in my chest.
"he did this to my baby girl, it's all his fault.." she mumbled, gripping my phone tighter in her hand. i assumed she was speaking of connor, which pissed me off even more. he didn't deserve to be brought into this, nonetheless blamed for
“I had to defend all three of us. Myself, and him, and her. And even then… even when I did…” I was sobbing now; I couldn’t help it.
The pad of my thumb slides over my cheek, wiping away tears. I step closer, putting my hands on her hips, pulling her closer. “I don’t understand,” I admit. “Why are you so upset, Juliet? Why are you overreacting? I went to a bar, drank a little, and kissed a girl.”
"Don't sit here and pretend to know who I am and what I do," he's defensive. I realise this is the most amount of words he has spoken to me in a long time.
Annoyed at this, I turned once again and lay on my back. I took a deep
“I know, Chloe. I shouldn’t have agreed to see him. He was bad for me when we were dating, and he’s bad for me now. But I honestly can’t help it. He’s oddly comforting…”
She seemed to fall back at such a question, but taking the step I wouldn’t take and grabbing my hand to pick me up off the ground, she smiled softly; holding onto me as tenderly as possible, “I know you don’t. I mean, all this time you’ve chased after me and blamed me for everything. It must go against everything you believe in, but listen, I’ve never wanted to harm you and I never will. You’re a part of me. If you want to blame me and hate me for making you live with me after all this too, you have the right to do that. For now, just know that I’m gonna take care of you and the next time I see Lalnable, I’m gonna thank him and then flux him up, I
“I thought I told you to bring your speech so you can practice." She told me with a disapproving smirk that felt like she could see straight through
She nodded, gulping down her sobs. “I told him that you were coming to Vegas with Jenna. I told him that you called me and asked me to help you. I told him what a bastard you were for asking me to help you when I was pregnant with your baby and that it didn’t matter if you were still in love with her.” She sniffled. “I told him I wanted her gone. For good this time. And I told him I wanted it to hurt you. I wanted you to hurt so bad that you wouldn’t have any choice but to be with me.”
You thought about all of the pain he had caused you and so many other families. The anger you had been holding in began to boil to the surface. You swung your hand and slapped Tate hard on the cheek. He looked at you with quivering lips. You could tell he was getting ready to cry, but you just stood there. “Do you know how much pain you’ve caused,” you asked. He just looked at you and whipped his eyes. “It was a lot Tate. You caused a lot. This is the first time I’ve even been in this town that I used to love so much. You ruined that for me. I wanted to move away with you and have a life with you. You told me so many times that you loved me and wanted to be with me forever. I gave myself to you completely. If you really did care and you really did want to be with me, you wouldn’t have done
“You haven’t seen anything yet,” Derek said with a smirk on his face. Together we walked through the long hall and made small talk. I found that the more time I spent with him, the more I began to trust him.
"Your boss threatened to kill me if I didn’t kill you, he said that you owed him money, money that you would never be able to repay", she said while taking a deep sharp breath. "I swear I would've given my life for you, if it wasn’t for our baby". Fresh tears rolled from her once rosy cheeks. She held onto Henry as if her life depended on it.
“YOU GOT SUSPENDED?!” cries a pleasing voice, I just “love” to hear all the time. Vanessa. Ugh. The volume of her voice makes me wince, because of the headache I have.
"Never forget the past…because it may haunt you forever. Regret all the bad things…cherish the good things. Look ahead always…but don't let the bad things from the past get in your mind." As a young child, there were so many incidents in my life that made me become the person I am today. There were rough times as well as good times. If I were to tell you all of them, I would remember half of them. I think some of my incidents really had some impact, and some were just simple ways of life. To tell you the truth, the incident that had the most impact on me has to be when my real father left me at the age of three. I never knew my father. I mean being a baby, you really have no experience or recognition of somebody else.
he sunk down to the floor, and put his hands in his face. slowly, he took out his phone and dialed 911. by the time the police came, both your parents were sobbing over your body.
“I know, I know. I’m putting a lot of effort into this. After all, this is my life, is it not? Although this is a lot of work...” She looked at me as if I had some sort of careless attitude. She was right though; I did.