My Father-Personal Narrative

Decent Essays
a choked sob escaped my throat as i curled up on the empty bed, the ache in my chest not seeming to calm down. i felt so alone, and so wrong. he wasn't here anymore, and i wasn't able to talk to him. he was the only one who knew that i was transgender, and he seemed to be he only person who could cheer me up when i needed it.

i longed to hear his voice, to tell me that'd it would be okay eventually. but when you have an extremely religious family who you know won't be supportive of basically any of your choices, you're stuck and lost. all i want is a dick - and connor. was that too much to ask?

apparently, it was.

i lied when i said he was the only one who knew. my parents found out somehow, and immediately blamed connor for it. my family
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we met in about second grade, us both being the extremely annoying and curious children we were, we ended up as friends. the thing that pissed me off however, was how people always pointed out that he was a boy and i was a girl. that we had to be dating.

there were a few things that bothered me about this statement. just because two people were really close didn't mean that they had to like one another. i've never really thought that way about connor, nor do i plan on it. he's too close of a friend to me for me to actually have a crush on him.

and then there's the fact that i'm not a girl, but i couldn't blame them for that. at that time, i was probably just as confused as any 7 year old would be. i just assumed that it was normal to have pretty much all guy friends, and to really want to look like them too. that maybe it was just a phase like everyone around me had told
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"what do you mean." i replied in a monotone voice, trying not to break down right then and there. she knows.

"connor is calling you troye? tiana, that's not your name, we've been over this several times.."

"why do you care?" i spat, my voice a little louder now. i cannot believe her, god, why is she like this? "you never seem to give two shits - "

"do not use that language in this household!"

" - about my feelings, and you never have. so stop pretending to be the caring mother that everyone knows you aren't, and just beat me down like you always have." i noticed the hurt look on her face, yet i still continued on. "i'm troye. i always have been, and you, of all people, should know that. i've told you that i've wanted short hair and 'guy' clothes since forever, yet you continued to doll me up like your little princess. why can't you just listen to me for once?" i knew that i was crying now, i could feel the heat on my face and the pain in my chest.

"he did this to my baby girl, it's all his fault.." she mumbled, gripping my phone tighter in her hand. i assumed she was speaking of connor, which pissed me off even more. he didn't deserve to be brought into this, nonetheless blamed for
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