My Father's Loss

The loss of a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences to endure in a human lifetime. The grieving process often encompasses the survivors’ entire world and affects their emotional, cognitive, spiritual, and physical selves in unexpected ways. After a major loss, such as the death of a spouse or child, up to a third of the people most directly affected will suffer detrimental effects on their physical and/or mental health (Jacobs 1993).

When I got my family was around our wooden table. My dad on his soft voice said “ I don’t think your grandpa will go through one more night, you need to call him” he cried. I felt like I couldn’t do it, felt so week and a huge hole in my stomach, something I’ve never felt before, I grabbed the phone and when I was about to call, the phone ringed, I passed the phone to my dad, It was my aunt sobbing and barely able to speak, then she said “ he passed away, I’m sorry honey” I couldn’t believe it I didn’t even had the chance to say

Researchers MacCallum and Golombok (2004) argued that results from previous studies focusing on the loss of a father could not be generalized to children who grew up in households without a father from birth. This is where lesbian mothers and single mothers come into their research, because these families did not necessarily have an absentee father due to family disruption or realignment. For example, lesbians have used assisted conception and/or adoption. In earlier times, lesbian mothers weren’t always allowed these options. Many often lost their children due to the belief that children of homosexuals would have psychological and developmental problems, and at the time, many believed the children of homosexuals would be ostracized,

I never expected anyone to be this heartbroken over my death. Here I was 15 year old boy named Andy Hollows. My death was tragic, Leukemia is never easy to deal with. I was currently watching my mom wrap Christmas presents for my younger sibling. This is their first Christmas without me and I wasn’t too happy with my dad acting like a Grinch this time of the year in this exact situation. Lord knows my mom did not need it, nobody did in fact they were depressed, heartbroken, lost, and dull. I was always the one to cheer them up when they were sad, help Mom decorate for christmas, and help my younger sister, Ann pick out a ugly Christmas sweater to wear. I was interrupted out of my dark and useless thoughts by the door bell ringing.

I remember it like it was yesterday. The horror of it. She’s gone. I never thought in a million years it’d end like that. A stroke? After beating cancer, not once, but twice. Seriously? The doctors said she’d never wake up, never talk, never recognize me. Why bother keeping her on life support? It’s not her. My dad told us “she’s not going to make it.” My brother, dropping, fell to his knees. A guy 6’2” 220, lost it. That day ruined our family. Mom was the glue, the one who intervened when my dad went military on us. The one who always had your back and took care of us. But now, because of a nation’s lackadaisical attitude towards type two diabetes, she’s dead.

The loss of a loved one is a painful experience followed by a period of grief and mourning. Bereavement is an experience most individuals will endure at least once in their lives. For most people symptoms such as persistent yearning for the deceased, intense emotional pain, preoccupation with the deceased, and overwhelming sense of sadness only last for a period of 12 months or less before the symptoms begin to subside. For approximately 2.4%-4.8% of the population grief symptoms persist for more than 12 months. These symptoms begin to impair their social and/or occupation functioning (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). This is a condition known as complicated grief (CG), also referred to as prolonged grief, or persistent complex bereavement disorder (Bryant, 2014). The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition (DSM-5), includes CG in the Appendix entitled ‘conditions for further study’. CG was proposed as an adjustment disorder when the DSM-5 was being written. A multitude of research had been completed to prove this was a maladaptive response to a significant stressor in an individual’s life (Bryant, 2014). Unfortunately, the American Psychiatric Association did not believe there was a sufficient amount of evidence to prove this constituted a formal diagnosis (Bryant, 2014). Nevertheless, this topic remains a prevalent concern in our society. Researchers have started to identify certain risk factors as well as mechanisms that cause CG

I was only 18 when I lost mom and when I was 35, I lost dad as well. I remember getting a phone call from the prison on Monday, November 16, telling me that there was an altercation that day, which was code for prison riot. I saw it on the news later that night, 4 other guys besides dad died as well. They told me that dad was shanked 9 times and by the time the guards were back in control, he had already lost too much blood. Becky, my wife of 11 years saw me cry for the first time in our marriage. I had never gotten to say goodbye to my mother and I was also deprived of saying goodbye to my father as well, I just hoped my 8 year old daughter, Katherine, would not share my same fate.

The pain of losing someone close to you, especially a parent, is never something you can ever quite articulate. But, the lessons you learn and the person you become in the aftermath is a little easier to explain. My mother was my best friend. She was ornery, funny, and brilliant in her own way. She always knew how to soothe me and she always made the effort to, even when she was combatting her own issues. In 2009, my parents divorced due to my father’s anger issues and drug use. In addition to becoming a single parent, she was also physically disabled due to work injuries and dealt with pain almost constantly. Her death was May 26th, 2015, just six days after the end of my freshman year. The exact details are burned into my memory, but at the same time the entire day is a blur. I remember the train of emotions hurtling in myself and in my loved ones; the panic, the rage, and the absolute heartbreak I experienced during what I dub “The First Year”.

I always knew we were going to lose mum, it was inevitable. But no-one could have ever guessed we would lose dad as well, it’s wasn’t fair, it isn’t fair and it will never be fair. Mum died from a cancerous brain tumour three months ago, I turned eighteen today and dad left yesterday.

So many people. So many people I have never seen and never met and never known. But we're all here for the same reason, for the same person. The same person, who has in some way affected all of us, and touched us, and changed our lives. The church is playing her song, the song she would always sing and sometimes even sing to me. I remember back to just a week ago, she's in the hospital, I'm holding her old, soft hands and twirling her ring around her now, frail fingers. I know she's not doing well, and she knows it too. But she's softly singing her merry little song to me, she's smiling at me, and when I look into her intense, blue eyes, I feel at home.

In between the two world wars, America suffered from hunger and unemployment. This all happened because of the huge economic crisis, which struck the whole world in 1929. It is not unusual that this type of crisis can lead man into alcoholism and gambling, and quickly, a whole family can be on the edge of destruction.

I was just as inexperienced as my friend in this situation, as he had never dealt with such a loss. Although on the surface I was able to cope with my grandfather's death, emotionally I had not. Leaving my friend with no guidance on how to tackle such a feat. Still, we both looked at it as a learning experience, hoping to find resolution. At this point, he began to “cross the threshold” into a new world, one without his dad. The first three to four weeks following the loss were the hardest on him, just as expected. Friends, family, and even people he had never talked to were sending their prayers, only reminding him of what had transpired. As it was always on his mind, it was extremely hard to get any words out of his mouth. At the times he

Today theologians have been debating whether or not the son has a subordinate relationship to the father. To help understand this question better in smaller terms we will break it down. Son in this sense means Jesus because he is the son of God. Subordinate means lower in rank or position. Father in this sense means God. Now the question becomes does Jesus have a lower rank or position to God. There are two different sides to this question. The first side is that The son is subordinate to the father on Earth but not in eternity. The other side is that the son is subordinate to the father on Earth and in eternity.

In the Summer of 2012, my father lost his job. I was only 12, and I had little understanding as to why my mother was so upset. My parents fought about my father’s unemployment for days, leaving me scared for the condition of my family. Eventually, my father went ahead and took out his life insurance money, and I was left wondering why my father could not just find another job. Despite the fact that my father had a side business, my family struggled. I watched as the food in my house diminished and common necessities seemed to disappear. For each week in the month, my family only had fifty dollars to spend on all the food we needed plus toiletries.

When I was six, my aunt died from a stroke. She wasn't the first of my mom’s siblings to pass away. Her younger brother had also passed five years prior. The wounds in her and the rest of my family’s hearts were still fresh, which, I suppose, added to the tragedy of my aunt. Moreover, she was like my second mother; she was like all of my cousins’ second mother to be honest. My aunt never had kids herself, but she was always playful and loving which made all the kids gravitate towards her. Well, that and we all knew that she would spoil us rotten. Knowing she was going to be gone forever gouged a hole in my heart and sometimes I still feel as if it hasn't fully healed. However, I learned that although my aunt isn't here physically, she, along with my uncle, will live on through the memory of my family and me.