My First Committed My Gender Norm Violation

The first words I had received from the specialist, “sorry”, sorry isn’t going to fix me, sorry, a subconscious response of whomever I’ve met. I was in a world of my own hearing the mumbles of the doctor, until an earthquake shook it, unexpected and life changing, “amputation”. I felt as though my life had reached rock bottom, could things get worse, not only was I afraid of the procedure but the judgment which I would be exposed to in public and the adjustments which will be made to my life.

Growing up as a first-generation Mexican American woman with parents who came with old ways from their country shaped a lot of my gender behavior. I grew up wearing dresses and having long hair because that is what a girl should be wearing and having. We were not allowed to play with boys because us girls are not as tough as boys and we cannot handle how they play. A lot of it had to do with how my parents were brought up and they instilled all that in us. I remember asking my parents to let me cut my long hair because I wanted short hair and was never allowed to. According to my parents a girl needed her long hair because that’s what made her feminine. So, when I was a junior in high school, I went behind my parents back and cut my hair super

It wasn’t until I began to pay more attention to media that I noticed that society seemed to have a lot of expectations on what you should like, and wear, and do based on things like your gender or race or about a million other things. Only… I wasn’t really following very many of those rules. The television told me that I definitely shouldn’t know the names of different tools, and that it was okay for me to be interested in flowers, but it should be my mom teaching me and not my dad.This was somewhat confusing to a young child, but after some time of not being culled by a great and terrifying force for daring to step outside my limits, I sort of just shrugged my shoulders and decided they probably weren’t really that important after all. Thanks to this blatant disregard setting in early on in my life, when I happened to fall in love with a heavily male dominated field I was a bit nervous, but not enough to hold me back from pursuing happiness. Unfortunately, many other people in this world don’t feel as free to ignore societal expectations as me. And besides pursuing personal happiness, this is something I hope to be able to

Every morning, I make the decision of whether or not to wear my headscarf to school, where I am the sole teenager, among four hundred others, to do so. This was undoubtedly frightening the first few weeks of freshman year, bringing on obstacles, but it soon became integrated into my everyday routine. I throw it on everyday the same as I do with the rest of my clothing, not thinking twice about it. With this being normal to me, I constantly forget that it catches other’s eyes. Jumping through hurdles, I learned how to use what others saw as a disadvantage to my own advantage, enabling me to completely change my view about myself.

Women everywhere have gender expectations and body alterations. We see it walking down the street and their tattoo, piecing, haircut, or body. We see it every day and everywhere. Women have it hard then man in most place. Women have a lot they must go through and it can be tough being a woman. Having to live up to some unrealistic expectation and body alteration that where placed on them that they didn’t even want. Media, status and control effect women into being submissive, have no voice or say so in any matter. To see the expectation and body alteration that female must make to meet these expectation, can sometimes be outrageous, disturbing and downright unjustice.

As societal human beings, we are constantly immersed in a world of gender norms. Gender norms are behaviors that include ways of speaking, ways of presentation, and even types of body language that are associated with certain genders, typically to the resilient two-category system of men and women. Sociologists West and Zimmerman describes the action of performing these gender norms in daily, social interactions as “doing gender” (35). Gender norms are an essential part of society, to the extent that the general population will only notice and acknowledge the presence of gender when the norms are breached and questioned. For this particular assignment, I have decided to enact a gender norm violation of demonstrating masculinity by wearing a tie, sitting while taking up as much room as possible, and building furniture with an aggressive, loud and assertive approach. My uncharacteristic behavior at my workplace, a conventional law firm, drew both subtle and unsubtle reactions from my coworkers and I was eventually held responsible for my actions. This report of my experience also reveals the conflicting responses of respect and reprimand towards the consequences of breaking a gender norm.

Mostly for this, I broke usual gendered norms; in the store, when buying makeup and talking to store associates about the best types and tones for my skin, as well as touching up makeup inside the male washroom, normal social encounters with others when talking and interacting, and how others reacted to me.

As my adolescence years approach many things began to change, or at least I thought they were changing. In my house I began to be have multiple responsibility. My mother soon started expecting me to help her clean the house and learn how to cook, while my brother was free to do as he pleased. This was when my rebellion towards my culture gender norms and roles began. As I grew up, I was told that I had to always be aware of my surroundings. That a girl/women does not walk late at night by herself because that could be dangerous. I was taught that I couldn’t be too friendly with the opposite sex because that could bring some unwanted attention. I had to cover myself and never expose too much because that could also cause the opposite sex too

I felt frustrated when students told me short hair made me look like a boy. While it seems trivial, I think having short hair influenced me in two different ways. First, so people wouldn’t confuse my sex category and to avoid further censure, I grew my hair out and dressed in more “appropriately feminine” clothing in college. While I didn’t want others to confuse my sex category, I think I also started to realize that other’s perceptions of me didn’t define me. In realizing this, I think it freed me to challenge societal views of gender. While I still “do” gender in more conventional ways, I think my ideas about gender are changing. I also think my views about gender are slowly changing how I “do” gender. In addition, while living up to stereotypes of femininity is still important to me in some areas, such as clothing and hairstyle, overall living up to these prevailing norms and stereotypes is becoming increasing less important to

“People overwhelmingly live their lives as society dictates.”(Unknown). In 1943 Abraham Maslow suggested a hierarchy of needs that included the need to belong and be accepted before one could reach self-actualization. Often being accepted by your peers involves some form of conformity to social ‘norms’ and any deviation results in consequences. The conflict that arises from the decision to follow personal desires instead of conforming has several different outcomes, some extremely severe, and impacts an individual’s life significantly as result. The source by Dina Goldstein presents a social issue that brings light to the conflict between following a personal desire versus conforming to society’s definition of gender identity. Determining whether

As a 13 year old who was born and raised in the United States I never truly experienced the barriers society could create when it came to gender, but upon arrival to a small village my parents grew up in, I soon came to realize what exactly they were. For the time being, I could no longer hangout with the boys, play sports, and always had to "act like a lady" . Being told I couldn't do something due to the fact that I was a female especially at such a young age was a terrible thing and brought nothing but confusion upon me. This is one of many experiences that truly shaped who I am today, as a female. Like many females the injustices or barriers I experience because I am a female, only make me stronger and prouder to be a

Confused why my peers weren’t going through the same thing I realized it was best to not say a word, as they had told me not to. I was oblivious to the grooming present my whole life. As I got older I realized these little things that were a daily part of my routine were huge things that affected me mentally and emotionally for the rest of my life.

The first remarks of mockery that I soon learned to ignore were: “Hey, egghead!” “Can you bend over I think there's something in my teeth?” and (the lowest of them all) “Cancer patient #2!” I was a bit unnerved, to say the least. I figured my peers would be at least be respectful enough to say these things when I wasn’t around, but I was exposed to it the moment the first class began. I didn’t see my sick classmate at all that day and I thought of the worst--Did I make it worse for her? Soon after, I learned to take the remarks as they come, letting them enter one ear and flow out the second. I laughed along with the jokes. Some of the acts of torment further convinced me that doing this was the right thing after all. I gave up my hair so that another person can be a more comfortable around her peers. I gave up on society’s values for females that states that we need to have long beautiful hair in order to challenge traditional

They huddled close, stared at me, and whispered to each other. One of them stood, came to me, and plucked a few long dark hairs off my head that fell to my lower back. She obnoxiously laughed and her devious minions laughed along. She looked at me telling me that my hair is dirty because it’s long. She made a twisted, dissatisfied look on her face. As a 7 year old, I was gullible enough to believe her since they had nice short hair and mines long and always tangled. I convinced my mom to cut it. After the haircut, I waited until they approved, but I never got one. Now that I’m older, I understood what happened but I could never forget it. A song started to play and reminded me of that time. The soothing song was “Try” by Colbie Caillat. With this song, Caillat reassures her viewers that they are naturally beautiful by joining a society who struggle with their insecurities.

Growing up with a supportive family like mine, I have always been encouraged to never be the “normal” girl. Starting at a young age, I had the opportunity to style my own hair and chose my own outfits. I was taught to be strong minded, self-sufficient, and accepting of others. My siblings and I were always ridiculed for the way we dressed, criticized because we had only had one parent, and laughed at because we walked to school every day. People on the outside looking in talked about my mother because of the way she “let her children present themselves” but little did they know that she was just letting us take the first steps in finding out who we were and who we wanted to become. Although my siblings and I were bullied about our