My Girl

In chapter twelve there is a study done by Maria Nagy in the nineteen thirties which suggests three major stages in the development of death related concepts in childhood. Maria Nagy examined almost four hundred children between the ages of three and ten living in Budapest shortly before the Second World War. Nagy conducted a number of tests between different age groups in her sample; the results suggested three distinct but unassailable stages in children’s concepts of death. I found this to be quite fascinating, especially comparing the stages to what I can recollect of my own mindset at those periods. Nagy’s first stage encompasses children under the age of five; these children have no concept of the definitive nature of death and instead view it as a continuation of life elsewhere

The Disney Way of Death explains the unfortunate/sad reaction to the evident loss of a loved one (friends and family). The reactions associated were common characteristics that Americans experience when they encountered death- Invisibility, silence, dispassion, institutionalization and taboo. (Laderman, 2000)

According to The Last Dance, a child gains all components of a mature concept of death between the ages of seven and ten. However, it is later noted that it is more reliable to take developmental sequence into consideration instead of age due to the fact that children develop at different rates. In order for a child to have a mature understanding of death, it is important for him or her to have experiences regarding

Death is a topic that unites all of humanity. While it can be uncomfortable to think about, confronting death in unavoidable. “Dying” addresses that discomfort and universal unwillingness to consider the inevitability of death. Pinsky’s use of imagery, symbolism, and tone create a poetic experience that is like death, something every reader can relate to. In “Dying,” Pinsky describes how people are oblivious and almost uncaring when it comes to the thought of death. Pinsky is trying to convince the reader that they shouldn’t ignore the concept of death because life is shorter than it seems.

“Girl” is a short story in which the author, Jamaica Kincaid, unofficially presents the stereotypes of girls in the mid 1900s. Kincaid includes two major characters in the story “Girl”, they are the mother and the girl. Although the daughter only asks two questions in this story, she is the major character. The mother feels like her daughter is going in the wrong direction and not making the best decisions in her life. The whole story is basically the mother telling her daughter what affects her decisions will have in the future. The mother believes that because her daughter isn’t sitting, talking, cleaning, walking or singing correctly it will lead her to a path of destruction. “Girl” is a reflection of female sexuality, the power of family, and how family can help overcome future dangers.

Each individual has a unique way of coping with death, and this is evident throughout Christina Rossetti’s, “Remember” and W. H. Auden’s “Stop all of the Clocks”.

The 1991 movie My Girl tells the story of 11-year-old Vada Sultenfuss who, having lost her mother at birth , lives with her dementia-ridden grandmother and her job-oriented father in the funeral parlour that he owns and operates. The story follows Vada, an extreme hypochondriac who has many strange misconceptions about death, through a variety of life-changing experiences, including the engagement of her father and the devastating loss of her best friend, Thomas Jay. Through these experiences, the audience witnesses Vada’s social, emotional, and intellectual growth, as well as her changing views of death.

This is portrayed in the scene in which Vivian goes back to her old college Professor, E.M. Ashford. Vivian’s fear is shown through the use of ellipsis’ as Vivian feels uncomfortable due to the fact that she can no longer hide behind words. Furthermore Vivian’s view on death is also conveyed in this scene as Vivian believes there is far more separating life and death than that of a comma, a breath, as said by E.M Ashford. Death, towards the end of the play, becomes an acceptance for Vivian as she finally embraces the true faith in which Donne had towards an afterlife and overcomes her salvation anxiety. Vivian begins to crave kindness and comfort when she never has before, this conveys Vivian’s change of heart. Through the quote ““It”: such a small word. In this case I think “it” signifies being alive” one can see that Vivian no longer feels the pull towards life as she did in the beginning of the play. The audience knows when Vivian is truly ready to die upon Vivian’s stage direction as she “attempts a grand summation” as if trying to conjure up her own ending. She then recites her original interpretation of John Donne’s “Death Be Not Proud” where only a breath separates life from death. Thus one can observe that through contextual connections that a greater understanding can be obtained in relation to the play Wit by Margaret Edson and the theme of death. Furthermore it is through these

“Mommy, when will I die?” I can still hear my 4-year old’s little voice asking me this question from the backseat as I am driving. How do I answer her? Do I tell her the truth? Do I lie to her? How do I explain death to a 4-year-old? For her, this question was out of curiosity not fear. For me, this was the most gut wrenching question I had ever been asked. Holding back tears, I gave her the best answer that I knew at the time. “Everyone dies sweetie. Nobody knows exactly when they are going to die. Sometimes it just happens when you least expect it. We all hope to be here for a really long time. And there will always be

Although Vivian has used her intellect and her dry wit as a shield to carry her through life, these are of little value in the face of death. She sees her reliance to concepts and her apathy to others mirrored in the actions of Jason Posher an ambitious clinical fellow working under Dr. Kelekian. He comes in and out of the movie and seems to treat Vivian as “un-human.” Throughout the whole movie he asks her “how are you feeling today Vivian,” but the way he says it is so unfeeling and cold. At the end of the movie when she is actually dead he asks, it just shows how much doctors really do not have any attachment what so ever to patients in today’s medical model.

To a child, avoidance can be a message.” They will eventually pick up the signals because death happens everywhere. I have seen dead animals: birds, worms, cockroach, etc. Kids see these things and they’re aware of it. It helps if they’re informed about it because they should be able to express their feelings. Doughty claimed “my childhood would have been different if I had been introduced directly to death (33).” Once they’re exposed to death, it won’t hurt them as much comparing to finding out death later on. If you don’t think about death, you wouldn’t be able to be prepared when it does

Life has many lessons in store for us. Often times, one of the most terrifying and traumatic lessons a child can learn really has nothing to do with life--but rather, death. Unfortunately, it is a lesson that we all must encounter at some point. No matter the age or circumstance, it is hard to understand how something so dark and mystical can impact our lives so much. It is even harder to cope with the loss of a loved one and to come to terms with knowledge that each day we live, we become one closer to dying.

Death is a very controversial subject. Many argue that it is a terrible phenomenon in life, while others argue for its necessity. One kind of death, however, most would argue against. The death of a child. Something so dreaded it has become a sort of taboo to Western society. Death is a very curious thing, it may take some, while it leaves others. Sometimes it can be surprising, while other times expected. While death may be one of the most inexplicable and confusing phenomena that our world has to offer, there is one certainty, and that is that death is inevitable. As a child, I always knew this to be fact, though I never really saw the effects of it, until I was

Nader and Salloum (2011) made clear that, at different ages, children differ in their understanding of the universality, inevitability, unpredictability, irreversibility, and causality of death. They believed, despite the increasing understanding with age of the physical aspects of death, a child may simultaneously hold more than one idea about the characteristics of death. However, factors that complete the determining nature of childhood grieving across different age groups may be a difficult task for a number of reasons including their environment in means of the support they have available, the child’s nature in terms of their personality, genetics, and gender, coping skills and previous experiences, the developmental age, grieving style, whether or not therapy was received, and the relationship to the deceased (Nader & Salloum, 2011). Crenshaw (2005) found that according to our current understanding of childhood traumatic grief and normal grief, thoughts and images of a traumatic nature are so terrifying, horrific, and anxiety provoking that they cause the child to avoid and shut out these thoughts and images that would be comforting reminders of the person who died. The distressing and intrusive images, reminders, and thoughts of the traumatic circumstances of the death, along with the physiological hyper-arousal associated with such re-experiencing, prevent the child from proceeding in a healthy way with the grieving process (Crenshaw, 2005). McClatchy, Vonk, and

Emily Dickinson once said, “Dying is a wild night and a new road.” Some people welcome death with open arms while others cower in fear when confronted in the arms of death. Through the use of ambiguity, metaphors, personification and paradoxes Emily Dickinson still gives readers a sense of vagueness on how she feels about dying. Emily Dickinson inventively expresses the nature of death in the poems, “I felt a Funeral, in my Brain (280)”, “I Heard a fly Buzz—When I Died—(465)“ and “Because I could not stop for Death—(712)”.