My Grandmother Was The Matriarch Of My Family

Losing a grandparent at the age of 11 and younger was hard enough but losing one at the age of thirty-five hurt just as much. My grandmother is still living, I wasn't as close to them as I was to my other grandparents but there was still a relationship that was built throughout my lifetime. I had the chance to visit my grandfather while he was in the hospital. Regretfully when I went to see him he was too ill to have a conversation with, but my grandmother reassured me that it was ok because he knew I was there. My grandfather was cremated, this was the first time I attended a funeral where I saw a box of ashes holding someone who I loved. His funeral consisted our close family members and my grandfather's remains were placed in a mausoleum. His death affected all of us in one way or another, this was the first time I saw my dad cry. It makes me sad that he is no longer with us but glad he is no longer

My maternal aunt gathered us together and we all sat on the couch. She turned to my mother and told us she had cancer. I looked at my aunt and I did not know what to say or how to respond. Three months later, my father received a phone call from his sister telling him that my pregnant cousin, Elizabeth, was diagnosed with leukemia and had to give birth to her premature baby. She and I grew up in the same house in Arizona and what hurt me the most was not being able to be with her during this difficult time. When we went to visit her in Arizona, my dad told us before entering the hospital room that he did not want us to cry in front of her. I was scared to enter. I did not know what to say to her but I knew I had to be strong. We stayed there for the holiday season but we never celebrated the holidays, that was too

There is one loss in my life that affected many aspects of my life for many years, the divorce of my parents. I was in barley entering the first grade and the tender age of five, soon to turn six, when my parents spent their last night as a married couple. I do not have many memories of my parents as a couple but I do remember the day my Daddy left. He was a policeman and I watched as his cruiser drove away from our family home. I remember my mom crying and not being willing to console me or explain to me what was happening. All I knew is there was a fight, my dad left, it seemed different than other times when he left, and my mom was crying. Everything about my life changed in the blink of a five year old’s eyes which is what makes this loss so significant in my life.

Right when I walked through the door, I got a burst of happiness. I felt safe, warm, and loved. The house smelled just like a fresh batch of moist, delicious brownies right out of the oven. There wasn't a single time I walked through the door and felt disappointed or sad. This feeling is just one of the many reasons my grandma had a huge impact on my life.

My grandma was my superhero with her genial personality and her ability to give you her full, undivided attention in order to listen to whatever you had to say. It was always my dream to be able to share both my high school and college graduation with both my parents and grandma and being able to later pay them all back for all their sacrifices. Towards the beginning of my sixth-grade year my grandma became unexpectedly sick and as months passed her health slowly began to deteriorate until she fell into a vegetative comatose for the next four years. My grandma’s sudden illness came as an unexpected surprise which leads to my mom and her family having to take turns in order to care for my grandma throughout her extensive hospital visits and inhome medical care. Throughout those four years both my emotional and mental health took a hit as I tried my best to learn how to deal with her sudden illness and the fact that my mom was rarely home because she was either in the hospital or at my grandma’s house in order to help take care of

It was not sudden; she had been suffering for a little less than a year. I kind of remember the “chain of reactions’ that led up to the diagnosis. It was around the fourth of July and we went to my grandparent’s house to celebrate. Shortly after arriving, everyone migrated to the pool area, where my Dad noticed that half of my grandma’s face was “melting” and her arm wasn’t through one sleeve of her shirt. After pointing that out, my grandpa proceeds to inform us that a few days prior, she had fallen on the ground while outside as a result of a medical issue and has been off ever since. Surprised to hear this, my dad told my grandpa to take her to the doctor. This day was the beginning of the end.

My grandmother, who is the mother of my mom, passed away due to heart failure at the age of 87. Since I was 6 or 7 she had been living in our house. The reason for that was, my grandfather, that I was named after passed away a year before I was born, so she was alone, and she was starting to get old. Since she lived with us for so many years, she had been a very important figure in my life. I can honestly say that she was like a 3rd parent for me, and losing her, made me fell horrible and helpless. I witnessed how real death is because of her passing. Combined with puberty, my grief caused me to become depressed for a long time. As I’m looking back it sounds really extreme, but there were some days that I did not even leave the bed thinking that there was no point to our existence. Thanks to some psychological counselling however, I was able to overcome that mental

When I was a sophomore my mother was diagnosed with cancer and as a result, I have spent most of my college career dealing emotional with the result. She is free of disease as of right now but it was a long and tumultuous journey to get there. I practically spent 2 years without a mother because she was so sick and I had to take her role. I organized family events, cooked them meals when I could, did their shopping all while going to school three hours away and having constant fear that my mother and the love of my life was going to die. That is only my personal struggle with it, not even taking into account her trauma or my fathers or brothers. It almost seems selfish to reflect on this because it was nothing compared to what she was going through. I went through stages where I was horrified and so scared and then I was angry and selfish. I wanted my mother back, I wanted her to make me dinner when I came home from college and send me care packages again. I wanted her to go shopping every weekend like she used to and spend money on things that weren’t hospital bills. I wanted to call her and hear something other than how she couldn’t get chemotherapy that week because she was so weak and was rushed to the hospital for a blood transfusion. I was tired of talking to people about it and people asking if I was okay. I felt like a broken record, “Yes, I’m okay. Yes, school is

My aunt whom just so happened to be one of my role models passed away. I was devastated. Not only was I confused, but I was lost as well. A woman I looked up to was gone forever. I missed a few days of school and starting falling behind on work. It took me awhile to process my aunt's’ death. I finally realized that I have to move on. I knew that she would not approve of me being sad. I started remembering all of the positive memories my aunt left behind. I gained a tremendous amount of knowledge from her. Until this day, I carry what she taught me everywhere I go. I strive harder to make her

The most traumatic event in my life was when my father passed away in 2005, when I was only seven. At first, I hadn’t understood his death. I knew what death was, and that it was permanent, but I hadn’t accepted the fact that he was gone until long after his death. My mother was a mess, and I was a confused second grader who could do nothing to help her. We began to go to counselors and psychologists, who all made me feel very uncomfortable. All they wanted was to talk about what had happened to my dad, when it was the last thing I wanted to say anything about. I laid in bed crying for a few weeks, knowing it was because of his death, but I felt emptiness rather than sadness or anger. My mother began to take medication for depression, and still continues to do so. At only seven, I believed her sadness was my fault. To be honest, I still feel hurt when I see her taking the depression medication. I know that I had nothing to do with his death, but it granted me with an unwelcoming sense of guilt. I had just been with him the night before his death, and now he had been cremated into a bag of ashes. All of my teachers were very precautious about mentioning him, and I didn’t know how to process all the new attention I had received at school. I was definitely depressed, but I found a way out of my slump. I distracted myself from his death and did all of my school work from my absences as quickly as I could, and

On January 5, 2009 my father pasted away. He and I did not have the typical father-son relationship; we did not have a relationship at all. I presumed that it would have a little if any affect on me. However, as the semester continued, it seemed to get worse. Besides my father’s passing, several weeks later my grandmother was diagnosed with dementia. It was difficult for me to deal with, but it was more difficult for my mother to handle.

I clearly remember the day I found out about my granddad's passing. I was at school. It was a normal, joyful day. My dad was planning on picking me up, but instead my friend's mom picked me up. He would not tell me why, but I did not think much of it. I remember the car ride to my house. My friend's mom would not tell me why she was driving me home; all she told me was, "Just know, Ryan, that we will be here for you no matter

Losing my grandmother was one of the worst things that have happened to me. When she died, I knew my life had changed. I watched her take her last breath in the hospital and it was very heartbreaking. She was like my second mom because she was always with me. I didn’t think it would come so soon. Dealing with her death was one of the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do. It was very hard because it was my second experience of losing someone very close to me around the same time of the year. I had to learn how to cope with losing her. I let all my emotions out, I didn’t listen to what anyone was saying, and I had to remember to take care of myself. Losing my grandmother changed me because she did everything for me. I had to grow up and be more responsible. I had to learn how

October 10th, 2013 at 7:30pm. The day of my grandma death. The day that changed my life forever. The day I will never forget. My grandma was my everything, she was the lady who raised me since I was born. I never had a mother or father, the only person who cared for me was my grandma. The day my grandma died I was in my senior year of high school and I had just came home from cheerleading practice. That was an unusual day for me because when I woke up that morning my grandma wasn't up cooking breakfast like she usually does she was in her bed asleep still. I looked outside and the sun was just rising. I went in her room that morning before I left for school and said these exact words, "Good morning grandma if you’re not feeling well, I could stay home with you and take you to the doctor." In a raspy low voice my grandma replied, "Good morning sweetie I'm okay I was just feeling a little sick this morning but I'm better now. You better get to school now before you are late.” Okay, Grandma Love you, call me if you need me", I replied. On my way to school all I thought about was why my grandma sounded like that this morning and how she wasn't up doing her normal routine. I have never seen my grandma get sick before. She was always the one taking care of me making sure I was okay. But I just pushed the feeling over just thinking my grandma was okay and I was just overthinking. I should've stayed home that day. I should've noticed that my grandma really was sick.

From the end of November till the 21 of December my Grandpa was put into Hospice, or a at home nursing home to prepare your loved one for death. At this time I was trying to balance my studies as well as supporting my family morally and emotionally due to the tough times we were going through. During the week of exams, my father was rarely home because of his father nearing death. This led me and my mom to provide each other with dinner and help each other. Knowing about the struggles we were having, my two uncles which were my moms brothers came over to have dinner and help up set up our Christmas tree. It was December 20th when they came over which was the day before my grandpa passed. My mom mistook me for my uncle and said my grandpa was going to die that night or the next morning. I didn't realize she said this and didn't know they were hiding this from me. I came home from my exams the next day to see my father balling due to his death. Because of the mourning process I missed one day of exams and lost complete focus in school for a short time. After I came to the facts that he was dead I started to work harder than I have ever worked before. This led to me getting the best grades I had ever gotten in my high school career and they are still getting better. While getting over death is never fully obtainable, you have to learn to be able to live with the thoughts that run through your head daily about your deceased love one. I