My I Wish You 'd Die

My mom looked over to where I was pointing and since she was standing up, and a fully-grown adult, she let out a loud scream. I covered my ears, wondering why she was screaming. She grabbed her phone and talked in a panicked voice.

“Is everything all right with you now?” I asked having referred to her arm, but was actually prying deeper than that.

I was still up when my mother got home late that night. “Mom? Can we talk?” I asked.

The following months a winter, cold and gloomy, surrounded the house. My grandmother came to stay with us since my father had fallen into depression and needed help taking care of my sister and I. When my grandmother went grocery shopping my sister would struggle with homework without my grandmother’s help. One day when my grandmother left to go grocery shopping my sister approached me, which was unusual of her since its very rare for her to come to me. Her dark brown hair and big eyes reminded me of my self when I was younger. “I’m hungry” she complained, a question she’s never asked me. My father sleeping and my grandmother away, I was the only one left to take care of her and that terrified me. I had never cared for or known how to care for someone else. All I knew was how to evaluate whether or not someone was caring for another correctly.

I answered. “Mija, where’s your grandma? Go get her now! It’s important.” that’s all I remembered from that phone call, but the moment I handed my grandmother the phone I saw her bright smile turn into the world’s most darkest frown. Out of the speck of my eyes, I saw small tears running down her face, with big worries she ran quickly to get a sweater and her purse.

“No Michael, what I think is that you need to get me to the hospital!” Mary replied in a stern, but steady voice.

It was 5 A.M. and my thoughts were everywhere. I kept tossing and turning, desperately trying to fall asleep, but knowing I couldn't. I finally slipped out of bed, carefully so that I wouldn't wake up Olivia, and proceeded to walk down the stairs. I sat down on the living room couch and exhaled deeply as I stared into the sunroof.

“Just tell me who she is already!”, I said a bit annoyed as I sat down on my bed. My mom did the same, sitting down next to me.

"Yeah, something isn't right," I mumbled. I kicked off my sneakers and sat on the bed, running my hands through my hair.

How could I have slept so long? I yawned big, rolled out of bed, and opened my door. The house sounded empty.

“I’m sorry. Am I in some kind of family matter?” I asked feeling a little out of place.

“Not exactly.” He sat up and cleared his throat. “I just wanted to ask you about something. I’m no expert in women’s health matters, but I noticed you haven’t had your courses since I returned from battle, and it’s been over a month now. Not that I’m keeping track or anything,” he added nervously, “but I noticed is

I must be very tired last night, otherwise I wouldn’t be in such deep sleep right now. I wasn’t having dreams, and my entire mind has sunk into the space full of pure darkness and dead silence. Peace and calmness were the only things in this place. I wished this secured feeling could last forever. Knowing the exhaustion and pressure in the outside world, it had been my favorite place. I wanted to stay there longer, and longer.

"Look, I'm sorry." I got up from the couch when the door opened. Gerard didn't look up. He walked to the fridge to put away some groceries, but then went to his bunk. I had made a huge mistake. Something I knew Gerard would probably never forgive me for.

Having my dad around all the time wasn’t my everyday routine. I’d see him once or twice a week so I wasn’t very much used to see him every day. One day I came home after school and he and my mom were on the balcony talking, the notice I was staring, they both looked at me and called for a family meeting by the tone of their voices I could tell there was