Seven years earlier, I migrated to Hawaii when I was twenty-three. I had flown away from my mother and my life in the Philippines. Like young adults and being rebellious, I wanted to live on my own away from my mother 's roof. I left the city life I grew up with in the Philippines in hope of a better life in another country.
I haven’t been able to sleep for the past month. I hear my door creak and I look at the door. I see someone open the door very slowly before coming in. I look to see Maria tiptoeing into my room. “What are you doing?” I ask “You know your mom would kill me if she saw us.”
“Nico! Nico!” my mom, Lutex, shouted while aggressively shaking me, “Wake up our ride is here.” I looked at the clock and stared at it for a long time, it read: 4:30 am. I moaned in despair and remembered that we were flying to our cousin’s house today. I still thought it was unfair that my sisters and I had to go to our cousin’s while our parents went to Las Vegas. I got my mind off of it and raced to the bathroom. After using the bathroom I washed my face and brushed my teeth, I got out and my sisters were waiting behind the door. I crept out and heard a honk. This was not the honk you’d hear from a duck, but a car. I got dressed into sweats and a shirt, fixed my shoelaces and stepped outside. Surprisingly, my parents and sisters were already situated with our suitcases.
The winter breeze swept across the ground as I made my way up the hill. The walk home always seemed to calm me. It was the green grass, stretching into the distance and past the horizon, the depth of it was captivating. The trees in the distance swayed in the wind, I used to imagine they were waving to me. The papers in my hand were slowly flapping, as if to show off the big red writing of “100%” scribbled on the front. A humble grin took shaped on my face, but at the same time, I noticed the quick beats of my heart, the tingling in my stomach and the way my fingers slid down my sweaty hands as my fist clenched. I was thinking about the way my parents would react. Things were finally settling down, I really didn’t want to be the one to
A nudge was administered to my shoulder as my eyes crept open. Slowly, a giant man came into my line of sight. He was a tall man with a thick beard and a toothy smile. Between the fold of his lips was a burning piece of cancer puffing out clouds of smoke. Coughing, I bolted up from the metal bed, looking at the mammoth of a man. He started to chuckle while blowing out more smoke. The room filled with laughter as I noticed the other four tattooed men around the room.
I stepped into my host on a Thursday, slipped into the cracks of her insecurities and nested in the place where her pride once was. I flipped and destroyed her home, smashed the windows that looked out onto her beautiful garden and barricaded the doors. I wasn 't being evicted, not this time.
I’ve spent my whole life trying to get back to one moment, one image: me, no older than seven, running to the park on a brisk summer day, with my mom behind me, and the grass as green as can be. It was the earliest I had ever gotten up, which combined with the gray - instead of the light blue sky - made me feel like I was in a new realm. The sun was glimmering, with speckles of it coming shooting right through the neighbor’s roof. For the first time, I found the sun tolerable that day. Up until then, the sun was a mere annoyance, to my young, sensitive eyes. I was much more a fan of the dark, the spark neon lights on a rainy evening gave off were always my favorite sight. But nothing could compare to the sun that day, the innocence of it all, for one, I enjoyed the light.
I don’t like to talk about my past but I’m willing to make an exception for this in an attempt to move forward. I’m going to be completely honest with you. I’m comfortable talking about this now but when I was a lot younger I was attacked by a person holding a knife to my head. I froze unable to move. I was scared to death. I was unsure with what to do. That day I felt like I was hopeless. I was completely unable to do anything for what I feel lasted forever. I thought my life flashed before my life. When my body well, I’m not sure what happened but I kinda punched the person and ran away. The words haunt me to today “Hey kid want to see heaven.” Yea umm don’t grow up in Compton it’s a bad idea 0 outta 10 would never recommend. The one
If there was one word to describe me in middle school it was “tomboy.” Although I was in dance class and cheered, I loved playing sports. I enjoyed getting rough and rowdy in the backyard with my brother and being the only girl in the neighborhood that the boys let on their team during pick-up games. However, my girlfriends would often comment, “Emily, you’ll never be cool by playing sports,” and “Beating the boys will never make you popular or get you a boyfriend.” At the time their comments didn’t matter. It was what I enjoyed doing. Then came high school and all of a sudden it was clear I had two options. I could listen to my friends and tried to become one of the cool girls and just cheer, or I could continue to pursue my
never came to terms where we’d like to live in. We’ve lived from the smallest of towns to big city places and all around Texas but I’ve never complained because i love to move around and meet new souls as my dad said. Originally living in Houston, i got used to the city never sleeping but once the moving began i changed my mind quickly. From all the places i’ve had the pleasure of living in, there is one thing i have learned from my travels as we’ve finally stopped in a city like town, nothing beats living in the country.
I sprinted. I sprinted until my lungs burned, and my legs just couldn’t move anymore. I began to quiver with exhaustion. I knew he was still back there. Somewhere, hiding with his knife. Watching. I’d barely escaped with my life, he knew it and I knew it. I knew he was still on to me. Waiting until the perfect moment for when I wasn’t quite paying enough attention. He’d catch me off guard. I peer around, looking for a quick escape route through the tall dark trees. Granted, I could hide, but I’m terrified that he’ll find me, and I’ll have no chance to run.
“Mohammed your sister is not going to leave easy. We raised her to be under our wing not out on her own. You’re brave Mohammed you need to get Bana on that plane and keep her going so that she can live a long happy life even though we are not in that life. Will you do that for me?” My father said to me. Me and my father were never close with him working and all, but this was the first time I actually felt like we knew each other.