My Life - Original Writing

Seven years earlier, I migrated to Hawaii when I was twenty-three. I had flown away from my mother and my life in the Philippines. Like young adults and being rebellious, I wanted to live on my own away from my mother 's roof. I left the city life I grew up with in the Philippines in hope of a better life in another country.

I HAD BEEN ASLEEP QUITE SOUNDLY FOR A COUPLE HOURS, WHEN I WAS AWOKEN BY AN ALL TOO FAMILIAR SOUND. IT SEEMED LIKE EVERY TIME MY BRAIN REGISTERED CERTAIN NOISES - EVEN WHEN I WAS DEEP IN SLEEP, IT SENT OFF A PANIC TRIGGER THAT FLOODED THROUGH MY MIND. THIS WAS ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE TIMES.

I awoke to find myself being tortured by sharp pains forming all across my body, as thoughts of panic rambled through my mind. I anxiously looked around the bare room, illuminated by a single row of light bulbs. My heart began to beat rapidly as I tried to find any object that would spark my remembrance of my location.

I don’t like to talk about my past but I’m willing to make an exception for this in an attempt to move forward. I’m going to be completely honest with you. I’m comfortable talking about this now but when I was a lot younger I was attacked by a person holding a knife to my head. I froze unable to move. I was scared to death. I was unsure with what to do. That day I felt like I was hopeless. I was completely unable to do anything for what I feel lasted forever. I thought my life flashed before my life. When my body well, I’m not sure what happened but I kinda punched the person and ran away. The words haunt me to today “Hey kid want to see heaven.” Yea umm don’t grow up in Compton it’s a bad idea 0 outta 10 would never recommend. The one

I was thirteen, my ribs and neck were bruised, so i had covered them in make-up. My body trembling with anxiety, it’s only been two days; my mom is finally coming to get me. I knew that, eventually, this would happen again, that he would never stop. I had to get out somehow, someway and I would. My mom was my way out but only at first.

If there was one word to describe me in middle school it was “tomboy.” Although I was in dance class and cheered, I loved playing sports. I enjoyed getting rough and rowdy in the backyard with my brother and being the only girl in the neighborhood that the boys let on their team during pick-up games. However, my girlfriends would often comment, “Emily, you’ll never be cool by playing sports,” and “Beating the boys will never make you popular or get you a boyfriend.” At the time their comments didn’t matter. It was what I enjoyed doing. Then came high school and all of a sudden it was clear I had two options. I could listen to my friends and tried to become one of the cool girls and just cheer, or I could continue to pursue my

This was the first time in my life I felt about walking away from a deal before I heard all of it. I was sure this deal was going to be too good to be true by the look on the man’s smug face, and that alone said loudly to turn this offer down. If it wasn’t for me knowing how the little fat gravity ball baring got his black eye, I would ask for an explanation to piss the man off. I’ve never liked the man, but my father had paid the man a small fortune to change his Fifth Level vitals to be acceptable for an Eight Level Matrimonial Listing. I may have been near the bottom of the list, but I did receive a few calls for blind dates. I never knew who my father had made a deal with, but whoever it was, they wanted several unasked favors

A crushing blow, a silent but heavy cry, the physical cracking of my innocent heart. All things that I felt, but hid, in the summer of 2013. This was the day that my family, my world, fell apart for good. Everything was a lie, or so I was told by one party and by the other half, there were no lies. Forced to choose sides between my loved ones, I broke down and grew up in a matter of hours.

The message rang in my ear. I could not believe what I was hearing. My body had gone completely numb. I no longer could feel myself sitting, but only felt sharp ice cold pains that the table was sending through my body. This just can not be true. I do not have time for this. How could I have this happen to me? I wanted to speak but could not find the words. What was there to say? I sat on that cold icy table, his eyes watching with concern.

I was deserting everything I had, or so I had anticipated, at first. Toward the conclusion of the school year, my dad had transferred his job, but in order to do so, we had to move to Pennsylvania, first into a temporary home, then a brand new one. On the last day of school, I couldn’t stop crying goodbye to my friends and teachers. In a week, I would be breaking away from my friends, my family, my home, my cat, and many of the places I had come to grasp and enjoy in Ohio.

“Jr, come on. Your father’s going to be home any minute now!” My mother squealed

We started off with a chaste kiss, and I have to say, kissing his lips once again was one of the best feelings in the world. I started to deepen it, loving the way his lips seemed to roll against my own, and I realized as well that this was definitely the right feeling as well. I know for a fact that this is the right thing that we both needed.

“This is the end” she sobbed as her bottom lip twitched. After two years and ten months, she no longer wants me in her life. It should have been a rainy night as we stood in the middle of a dark alleyway on the way back to her parents’ house. I stare at her like my soul was just taken out of my body and take a deep, quivering breath. I turned cold, like my heart stopped pumping warm blood around my veins and instead thrust ice-cold toxic water as it burns my insides.

I should have stopped him, I knew he was too young, his body; too weak, his brain; not smart enough but I still let him go. His mother, Mrs. Robert’s had made the mistake to trust me with her only child, Cameron. I regret what happened to him, he was just an innocent five years old, full of energy and curiosity that I used against him. I wish I could take it all back but I can’t because that poor child is already dead. Only because I let the evil inside me run free and chained the conscience to the back of my brain. That one decision will haunt me for the rest of my life.

“I lay in Death’s arms; writhing in feverish pain, my stomach drawn tight from hunger. I talked with the Great Spirit and asked him to take me, to release me from my torment, but he said it was not my time. He said that I must learn to see, not with my eyes, but with my heart, my spirit within.