My Life With My Mother

(Finnegan et al., 1996) the 'specific linkage theory recommends that there are subjectively formative pathways from avoidant and conflicted connections which relate to unpredictable consequences in adolescents behaviour as a result. This supports the critical and unremitting sense for a need to associate with their care giving figure that allows a young person to distance themselves in order to keep these coping styles in place, as young people start to realise that inner-emotional state do not coincide with the outer expression they chose to give.

My mother has helped me to understand myself, and to develop my characteristics because we have spent the majority of our lives together. One specific example would be in 2015, during an excursion to The Gower Peninsula in Wales, when, over a bonfire, we conversed about my father, and the subject of my conception came up. My mother told me that I was a mistake, because she was worried that she wouldn’t be an adequate mother, and tried abortion. This impacted me considerably, and it has made me live more in the moment because anything can happen, I didn’t feel like I was a mistake, or a failure or any of those labels, but I did realize that my time is limited, and I have to make the most of it. Another example is that during the initial split, my mother lived 5 minutes away from my house, and I would regularly make unscheduled visits to her apartment, and just talk to her. I comforted my mother, and we would talk for many hours. During that time, I hid my feelings behind my humor and

Research has revealed that there is a strong relationship between insecure attachment and a history of abuse and neglect (Begle, Dumas & Hanson, 2010). Insecure attachments are formed due to parenting stress and abusive parenting behavior. Parenting stress and abusive parenting behavior form children’s mental schemas of how the world works based upon early interactions with caregivers. These mental schemas construct their expectations about relationships. Ultimately

A qualitative study showing how childhood experiences of attachment and separation can affect relationships in adulthood.

Hendrix (1992) explains that since our memories from childhood are usually dim, it is often necessary to analyze present behavior patterns in order to understand how we moved through the early development. Based on that explanation, I came to the conclusion that I developed a secure attachment. One reason I believe I develop secure attachment is because I have the tendency to trust people easily, unless they have proven otherwise. When I meet a new person I often make a good first impression of him and assume he is a good person. It is usually often a person said or did something questionable that I start to mistrust him. Secondly, my parents would tell us how easily I got over after becoming upset with someone. I could not be mad at people for a long time. According to my parents, I would get spanked or scolded for poor behavior and I would leave the room sad or crying only to return a few minutes later and start talking with my parents like nothing had happened.

From the start of childbirth, children depend on their parent(s) or caregiver(s) to take care of their needs in life (Rodrigue & Reeves, 2015). Four types of attachment to focus on are: secure attachment, insecure-resistant attachment, insecure-avoidant attachment, and insecure-disorganized attachment. Secure attachment refers to when the parent(s) or caregiver(s) are present in the child’s life. Children feel comfortable about being independent to an extent and will interact with new and familiar things on their own in the presence of their caregiver. Separation may cause distress, due to the dependence and attachment to the caregiver. Insecure-avoidant the child does not rely on the care giver for safety and will be precociously independent. They also do relatively well with the caregiver being non present and opened to interacting with strangers. Insecure-resistant attachment the caregiver has the child more focused on their presence and will avoid new experiences even if the caregiver is present. If separation occurs, they become distress and do not cope well even after their return. Finally, insecure-disorganized attachment children show more disoriented or strange behaviors. They will wander with no purpose and show engagement in any activity while being distressed and confused about what they should do or how to interact with or around the

451). “Research has found that adolescents with secure attachment to their parents do better than their peers in terms of self-reliance and independence, behavioral competence, and psychological well being” and those who have secure attachment score lower for social and psychological problems (Ashford & Lecroy, 2013, p. 451). While looking at attachment development during this phase, should an adolescent be securely attached or begin to detach, this would not apply much to the client. The client, due to extreme circumstances and experiences, has already detached her attachment from the caregiver, and has already developed her own autonomy. This is also usually a struggle for adolescents with parents, control versus autonomy, but the client is already leading her life to full autonomy. While the mother is having more difficult detaching from the client, which is due to her own psychological problems, the client has been forced to detach attachment to mother from a very young age. The client would not fall under the typical development pattern of finding independence with attachment because of her life

Attachment-based relationships stem from attachment behaviour, which is conceived as any form of behaviour that results in a person attempting, or retaining proximity to some other differentiated and preferred individual, who is usually perceived as stronger or wiser (Ainsworth, 1985). These relationships have a strong connection with the development, functioning, and well-being across the lifespan, in both parent-child relationships, and adult relationships. This essay sets out to display and prove the positive relationship between secure attachment relationships and positive development, well-being, and functioning, across the lifespan.

Attachment style is a profound effect not only on our emotional development, but also upon the health of our relationships. A child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong consequences. It is important to be aware of attachment during infancy and early childhood in order to raise secure, independent and empathetic children. A secure, trusting attachment to parents during childhood forms the basis for secure relationships and independence as adults. It affects everything from our partner selection to how well our relationships progress to, sadly, how they end. That is why recognizing our attachment pattern can help us understand our strengths and vulnerabilities in a relationship. An attachment pattern is

The role of attachment styles is also assumed to have a big impact on anxiety disorders in adulthood. Attachment is important in all stages of human life; in childhood it allows a child to maintain connection with a parent for protection and survival and in adolescence and adulthood it allows an individual to seek a safe haven and develop intimate relationships both which help deal with stress. Attachment styles are divided into three categories: secure attachment, anxious-ambivalent attachment and avoidant attachment. Adults and adolescents that are securely attached tend to have high self-esteem and enjoy intimate

Mary Ainsworth classified patterns of attachment into four categories: secure, insecure-resistant, insecure-avoidant, and insecure- disorganized/disoriented. Each category describes an infant’s reaction to their mother reentering after having been absent from the room (Perry, 2001). By classifying attachment psychologist are better able to understand the immediate effects parenting styles have on infants. Also the possible implications on behaviors that persist into adulthood because, “these patterns of attachment become the “rules”, templates schemas, for relating that operate lifelong” (). Individuals with insecure attachments cannot form and maintain relationships as easy as others. They are weary of trusting adults and exhibit-increased aggression (Perry, 2001). Neglected children with attachment problems can experience a multitude of neurological consequences, including developmental delays. “A lack of consistent and enriched experiences in early childhood can result in delays in motor, language, social, and cognitive development” (Perry, 2001). For example, neglect can prevent children from obtaining the skills necessary to succeed in school, which then affects their ability to excel in a competitive job market. Abuse experienced at an early age, can affect individuals’ behavior well into their adulthood lives, which can then effect their parenting

Even with having a better attachment before such dramatic life event during adolescence could affect the person's existing attachments because the parents are the primary caregivers of the child and everything they trust and believe might fall right in front of them with the parent’s separation. Bowlby and Robertson believed that if a child has a strong attachment with his or her primary caregiver then a small separation could lead them to

They also were exposed to role-reversing experiences from their mothers during childhood. The participants said they faced difficulty with their relationships with others. This was demonstrated by Participant #6, “I rather just go with somebody just for one time instead of having a relationship”. They find hardships with interpersonal relationships, and difficulty forming healthy intimate relationships. Prolonged parental separation and feelings of neglect during childhood contribute to the patients' later fears of abandonment. They feel misunderstood, an outcast, different and disconnected from their

Growing up in a home with both my parents, I was fortunate to be able to spend a lot of quality time with my father. We used to go out together and play soccer, baseball, and ride bikes. I remember we used to play a lot of old school video games and my mother would get pretty upset at the hours we spent playing and not doing anything productive. In my point of view, our relationship was perfect; our bond was strong like any father and son. I was only four years old when my world was turned upside down. My life changed the day that my mom and my dad separated, I felt alone. The process of a divorce was too much for a child that age to handle; it was a hard time for me. Although I had no father figure for about 12 years because my dad moved

As a child, I remember growing up in an area of Atlanta, Georgia called Mechanicsville. This area was very diverse with people from various socioeconomic backgrounds. Often, my mother would share valuable life lessons with my siblings and me. One, in particular, I remember even to this day is, “Life is only as challenging or motivating as you make it”. Originally, I did not quite understand the purpose of this aphorism; but as I got older, the meaning became quite clear. Although life for me has been both wholesome and unhealthy, in hindsight, it seemed better than my childhood friends. If you knew the real story, you would see that my life is not as perfect as it appears. Just to provide you with a little insight into my world, I had a