My Love And Friendships

Flurries of snow roiled in motion under the command of capricious, roaring winds. I stood and marveled at the sight as my eyes traced the white balls thudding against the ground and architectures all at once at exactly the same speeds. Particles of snow danced in joyful synchronization in mid December of ‘05. This was my earliest recollection. This was the day I left my family 12,678 kilometers away to come to the United states for the pursuit of a better way of life. I remember sitting on a rusty old bench on the first day of Kindergarten. The sounds of children at play echoed from the playground, stomping and running and laughing. None of the worries of adults crossed their minds, only how to elude capture by their friends. The rhythmic creaking of swings went back and forth, and some kids tried to time their jumps from the swings to the rhythm. I was one of those children growing up who would pry open a brand new remote control car to pull every component apart than play with it. I surmise this is where my love of engineering truly began.

Curiosity, undoubtedly, is one of the universal characteristics of a child. The innate desire to explore and understand comes just as naturally as eating and sleeping. For example, I was eager to discover how my mother was able to play such enchanting melodies on the piano. While she methodically pressed each key, I observed as the corresponding hammer struck a set of strings to produce a pleasant sound. My curiosity and the love of music sparked my desire to learn the piano; thus, leading me to learn and ceaselessly play for the past 12 years.

Ever since I was a little girl I would sing everywhere, in the bathroom, the car, at school, and at parties but my favorite spot has always been in the shower. I would never sing in front of my brother, he would always tease me about my voice. Being teased made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Because of that I stopped singing for a while. At that time, I didn’t know what to do singing had been part of my life even before I even came out the womb. I've been told my aunt would sing to me frequently. I felt completely at lost, I was unidentifiable with myself. I need music in my life.

For as long as I can remember, I loved to read. There was never a distinct moment that clicked. Never did I see reading as a requirement; more so a desire. My desire to read paved the way for my need to tell my own stories. Aside from the stories I read, the ones I created brought a sense of satisfaction that I could never find elsewhere. My love for reading and writing is like the need for one to consume food and liquids to keep their body both nourished and hydrated. It’s a necessity! When I read or wrote, I craved peace and the need to escape into the world of endless possibilities. A place I can venture with no responsibilities and no worries. As I got older, my need to open a book and read, or write a story came natural. I was free!

I am a musician. My journey through the weeds of musical establishment and excellence was filled with success and failures galore; how you describe me is up to you.

It was a year ago when my life was completely different. Every face I saw looked of one to be traitorous, inside of myself, I saw a demon who could only treat others with disrespect and malice. I was broken, empty and betrayed. I was all alone. In July of 2016, everything in my life fell apart as I started to become more and more depressed by the minute. My life wasn’t inherently bad; I was healthy, my parents cared for me, and things were moving along perfectly fine, but there are things that can cause distress in the human mind and so many happened all at once sending me into a spiral downward.

When I was a little girl I loved to write, because my father would give me silly little writing prompts and I would write short paragraphs of made up scenarios. My father really encouraged my writing at an early age, but as I grew older I realized that I struggled with it a lot. I can remember my very first personal journal. The content I would write was so underdeveloped, because I was so young, but I didn’t care at the time. As I grew older, I became fond of roleplaying online on websites or in video games such as World of Warcraft. I continued to roleplay through high school at the same time trying to do the school work my teachers were giving me. My teachers knew I was struggling and didn’t take much interest in helping me. When I first started college, my skills were not up to par. Some things were good and others not so much, but at the end of the day everything that has happened to me has made me the writer I am today.

There’s usually not a lot of words that I could use to describe myself whenever people ask me to tell them about who I am, but for this letter I’ll make it work! I guess I could start by telling you a few things about my family, so here I go. I live with both of my parents and siblings in a quite small house with a German Shepherd dog. As you know, both of my siblings--- Augustus and Ellen--- graduated here in DMCI a few years ago. They’re doing really great in university, well except when they have exams because they tend to stress a lot. I’ve done many things with my siblings, and I guess that’s the reason why I got to know and got the chance face my fears. As for my parents, they exposed me to different things in life that I could potentially love or hate, which is what made me who I am today. While everyone else made me realize the important things in life and that is living your life to the fullest, just like the summer I had this year.

I live and breathe music. Music is the reason that I wake each morning; it is the reason I go to school every day, and it is what I spend all of my free time doing. Since the seventh grade, music has been my passion. Because I was raised by parents who introduced me to the joy of music at a young age, music has always offered me great comfort like Blue Box mac and cheese. From an early age I was exposed to many genres of music from classical, to pop, to Jazz, and many others. Since I was an infant, my father shared his love of Mozart, Neil Diamond, and Billie Holiday. In addition to listening to music, I learned to play various instruments over the years beginning when I was four years old when I played “Mary Had a Little Lamb” on the largest pipe organ in Nevada. Unless you count the pots and pans drum set from our kitchen, this was my first experience playing a musical instrument.

Felsenfeld did not come from a musical background, but took piano classes, worked at bars and orchestras and fell in love with music, especially Beethoven which had a “drug like effect on him” (p. 642) Felsenfeld only learned about Beethoven by accident when a friend “played something wild” for him (p. 641), but Felsenfeld wanted the music to keep going, to never end. Felsenfeld showed his love for music while composing in Opera, chamber music, and orchestral music. Felsenfeld followed his heart and passion and is an amazing writer/ composer.

“In my head, I’m just me, and yet when I go out into the world, people don’t see certain things about me.” (Sanna, page 29, paragraph 8) I’m the type of person who see things differently in the world as I construct my own opinions. As cheesy as it may sound, I like to believe that everything has a reason behind it; and that everyone has a purpose in life. Growing up, I never explored much of the world, but I felt that I didn’t needed to. From my parents' wise words to things I witness on television, I imagined what the world was. The only thing I truly knew was that I was surrounded by the love of my family and our furry companions. My childhood is something that shaped me into the person I am today.

Ever since grade school, reading and writing have been forced upon me and many other students. Like some of my peers, I didn't enjoy having to read and write more than twice a day. Despite my long exposure to english and countless and enthusiastic approaches from my teachers, my love for english never grew. Perhaps my dislike for english began when reading and writing was more than a chore rather than a hobby. Since kindergarden, my teachers would read to us everyday until we learned how to read, then we would have to read quietly in class. These class and silent reading sessions were supposed to open our minds and help us explore the world of reading and writing to be more creative but this was not the case with me. My mind was more active during our math and science lessons but we would only have these for about an hour or less. Math and science require logical thinking and most of the time the results are very similar while english and writing are subjective and we can have different opinions on the same subject and still be correct. Personally I am more of a logical thinker than a creative one.

If fatherhood has taught me anything, it has taught me that life never works out the way you

I would describe my relationships with my friends as something I never want to lose or ruin. I have been lucky enough to create many friendships. I believe that my friendships are truly gifts from God that help make me, me. I also believe that each one of my friendships is important and part of God's plan for me. Something that has impacted my friendships is what my parents told me when I was young,” The only way to have a friend is to be one.”

I would be the first out of my family to graduate college and I was the first to graduate high school out of 3 generations. My father was a Marine for 10 years, he choose a different path instead of going to college or finishing high school. He joined the war overseas to serve his country and I am proud of him. He always told me to never join any branch because he saw a future for me that he wanted me to invest in an education and better myself in everything I do. My brothers and sister choose horrible paths and yet I was different than the rest of the family. I wanted my mother and father proud of me and I wanted my country to be proud of me. Instead of doing drugs, drinking and partying. I was the odd kid growing up that invested myself into books and dreamed of the endless possibilities that I can became. I thought different jobs of what I can do to help my community and not fall into the evil path as my brothers and sister did. Dad always told me that I was his shining star, I didn’t really understand what was going on with family until I got out of high school. Drugs and alcohol can really screw up people lives. I am living proof that you can choose the right path to become a better citizen.