My Morher and Her Sister

Walt Disney once said, “The most important thing is family.” An average family consisted of four people including two children and two parents. Unlike the average size of families in America, I have a family size of ten people. My family size always surprised people. In fact, my family included with two loving parents, seven older sisters, and me being the youngest. It all started when my parents wanted a boy. With great determination and hard work, they finally achieved in giving birth to a boy. The process took my parents only about eight tries. Many friends and classmates always mentioned, “Your life must be hard living with seven older sisters and having no brothers.” Throughout my life, my sisters have taught me many life lessons. Many of those lessons helped me developed into the person I am today. During my adolescent years, my hatred for living with seven sisters gradually grew. When I grew up, I had come to realize there was a deeper meaning of family and the valuable time spent with them.

With all her suffering, Lucy was awakened to all the glories of living to which we remain unaware of so much of the time. Lucy also exhibits a sensible, mature understanding of her father. She realizes he left her alone during her terrifying and traumatizing treatments with a completely heartless and hateful physician only because of his own inability to deal with and accept the type of pain his own daughter was experiencing. Through these extraordinary events, the family, overwhelmed by shock and shame, abandoned Lucy emotionally.

My mother was my primary caregiver throughout all of my childhood. While my father was in the picture for a majority of my childhood, he was also a severe alcoholic which greatly impacted my upbringing. My rules, obligations, and expectations were not always set in stone and did often depend on the time, situation, and/or mood of my parents. I think it is normal for parents to differ slightly in their parenting styles occasionally. As a young kid I remember my sister and I being very aware that the mood my mother was in greatly contributed to the outcome of a question or event. I think most, if not all of us can relate to this. Overall however, I would say that my mother had an authoritative parenting style. My mother made is very clear that she was the parent and in charge, however she was welcoming and understanding enough that I felt comfortable coming to her with questions or problems. My mom was also very encouraging and supportive. She always pushed me to do my best but never made me feel bad if I did not reach my goals. I was lucky to have such a great relationship with my mom, not everyone does. As a young teenager I had many friends who would come to me with questions and concerns because they knew my mom was so open-minded and understanding. My mom was always my parent first and my friend second. I knew what was expected of me and I was disciplined for bad behavior, however I always knew I could go to her with anything I needed.

My sister, Marsha, and I wanted to live in the small town we grew-up in, so we stayed with Daddy for several years. We were teenagers by then and with Dad’s party side and being divorced, he was gone most of the time. Unsupervised, like a great deal of teens, we appeared at times unruly. Nearly all my relatives and the majority of the town looked on disapprovingly.

As a child I used to believe that my life could not get any better because at the age of 6, I had everything that I ever wanted. I was the center of attention and my parents always had enough time to play with me. I always received the most expensive toys, dolls and clothes from my relatives and cousins. I was also brash and troublesome, purposely placing my older siblings in trouble whenever they made me cry or when they don’t follow the things I wanted them to do. In short, I had the life of a very spoiled, stubborn and ignorant child but nevertheless, I used to believe that my life was perfect. That was before my parents told me that I was having a younger sibling.

In December of 2008, my wife and I found out we would be having our fourth child. We were living in Sugarloaf Key, FL while I worked in Key West, FL. Due to some unforeseen circumstances with our land lord, we terminated our lease in Sugarloaf early, rather than trying to find a place for the remaining six months we would be there. We moved the family back home to North Carolina over the Christmas break from school. I still had six months or so remaining before I transferred to my new job in Tybee Island, GA. The military had moved us before, being a military family moving was a bitter sweet occurrence. The family adjusted well and settled right in. Having family close by to help ease this transition helped out greatly. The fourth addition to our family was developing on schedule, regular doctor visits, and checkups. We decided that he would be born in NC since my wife was comfortable with the doctor she was already seeing. The estimated delivery date also worked with my work schedule and being home for the birth.

Family. That word means everything to me. My parents, both immigrants from India, were raised in relative poverty in their hometown of Bengaluru. They courageously made the decision to leave their own family behind for the sake of a better opportunity for themselves and their children. They sacrificed a lot when I was growing up, as they worked hard to establish their careers. Thankfully, my grandparents were there to help take care of me. Travelling back and forth from India, they would help around the house, cook meals, and even pick me up from school. Their presence played a huge role in my childhood. I was lucky enough to basically grow up with four parents, each of whom instilled in me values that I hold today: hard work, sacrifice, and altruism.

One of the most difficult things to do is to break all my ethical values and principles down into a single phrase or statement. However, I have no choice in the matter. So, I would have to say that my family’s drive to want to do good for those who are less fortunate and the strong sense of family that we all demonstrate must be the strongest and best values of all. If we stay along that thought process, I would say that, for me, if I leave a strong and ethically sound roadmap or legacy for my kids and their kids to follow, then I would say that life was a success. Having said all of that, here is my single statement: The purpose of life is to achieve a socioeconomic status to where I can ensure the safety and overall wellbeing of both my family and then their families while achieving a positive impact on society that is greater than when I entered it. Always try to better myself and my family!

The make-up of my family was our parents, two boys and four girls, of which I was the youngest. It was a Christian based home, where my father was strict but, my mother was the nurturer in the family. In my eyes, my mother was awesome because she had such inner, spiritual and physical strength, and although both parents played a big part in our spiritual instruction, the memory of her example of faithful prayer and dependence on God’s strength, impacted me the most.

As cliché as it may sound, my friends and family are the most important things in my life. When I say that my parents are the best in the world, I am not exaggerating. They treat me like an adult, appreciating my opinions in debates about anything from sports to politics and telling me the truth whenever possible. With them, I have been able to see the world, traveling to around the United States (to places like New York City, Acadia National Park, and even Columbia, South Carolina) and abroad (including Bermuda, Italy, and France). In my family, I am able to find people who challenge me to be my best and who also notice when I need comfort. On a similar note, my friendships have made me into a more adventurous, open person. I am naturally cautious and can worry extensively over decisions, but my friends have a way of bringing me out into the world. I have had wonderful experiences like going to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal and taking late-night fishing trips that I never would have done on my own. The people I love bring out the best in me and make me want to be even better.

Darkness, anger, sadness, innocence and love: these are the words that describe my older half-brother and all the memories and emotions he brings to me and my parents. I was born in a loving home, he was born under chaos. My father is my hero, his father is his villain. To take care of me, my mom left her job. To take care of him, my mom left my brother with my grandmother so that she could get a job. This story is hard to digest and harder to put into words. The relationship between my family and my brother is now over, and it made my vision of life and family change completely.

The most important thing for me in my life is my family. Although we are separated during the week, we would hardly see each other. Deep down they are the reason why I look forward to Fridays and Sundays. These days are not just any ordinary day of the week for me and my family. My two beloved aunts Maria and Luz come to visit me and my mother, most of the time we go out of town, which makes the rest of the day go by very fast. Then what we usually do during the week.

Everyone has their story. What makes them unique and special? Where did they come from? What made them the way they are ? For me it is that I grew up faster than most. It started when I was little, I always wanted to do my own hair. The thing I always said was, “I can do it myself.” If anyone tried to help I would still say the same thing. It then continued when my parents got a divorce. I was very young; around six and a half years old. When this happened I did not know what to  feel but I was still a happy, cheerful kid. I now realize that family is very valuable and can change in a heartbeat. The idea of family to me means people who would do almost anything for you and you would do the same. After the divorce, when at my dad’s, I had to help take care of my younger brother. I would help him dress, brush his teeth, and make food. I now value what my mom does and did when I was a kid more because taking care of my little brother was difficult.

Sitting in jail after getting myself in trouble with a few friends doing things we should not have done. Balling my eyes out thinking of all the things that are going to ripple from this one mistake, I start to think of how this would affect my life and family. Overall, not really knowing what to do.

On January 17, 2016, my family and I travelled about two hours to a small town called Yantis in east Texas. The elders of our family would always get together multiple times a year to catch up and see each other since they were getting to an age where they can’t depend on themselves being here on this Earth. Out of the seven or eight older members of the family, two or three had already passed by this time. My Uncle Charles was not looking good either, over the past few months he went from multiple doctor check-ups a week, to being in the hospital, and then ultimately hospice care.