My Parents ' Divorce '

Throughout my childhood, my environment consisted of switching between my mother's and father's house every week. Since I was an infant, my parents have been divorced and I believe that being a child of divorce has shaped my life tremendous ways. Through the hardships that came with living in two houses for 16 years of my life, I had the time to mature and learn a lot about myself and who I wanted to be as a person. Watching my parents for many years, I realized what I did and did not want to be when I grew up. From my father, I wanted to have the dedication and perseverance that he exhibited. From my mother, I wanted to be friendly and beautiful like her. However, there was many qualities that my parents carried that I did not want to take

There is one loss in my life that affected many aspects of my life for many years, the divorce of my parents. I was in barley entering the first grade and the tender age of five, soon to turn six, when my parents spent their last night as a married couple. I do not have many memories of my parents as a couple but I do remember the day my Daddy left. He was a policeman and I watched as his cruiser drove away from our family home. I remember my mom crying and not being willing to console me or explain to me what was happening. All I knew is there was a fight, my dad left, it seemed different than other times when he left, and my mom was crying. Everything about my life changed in the blink of a five year old’s eyes which is what makes this loss so significant in my life.

Six years ago, a summer afternoon, my dad hugged me and I said “I will be gone for three days, I have a job in Austin, but I promise that I will be back before your birthday. I promise.” Days, weeks, months almost two years passed by and I did not receive any phone call or text message from him. Throughout that time my dad was gone, my mom told me that she was getting the papers ready to divorce my dad. I was noticing that the last three-four years that I was living with both of my parents, their relationship was getting worse. It was not a healthy situation for anyone in the house. What I mean about not being healthy is that my mother and father were damaging one another, emotionally and verbally, which my brothers and I would watch everything. Every day was the same routine, we forgot how it was to have a peaceful home. Around that moment, I honestly never thought divorce was going to be their solution.

“What you are afraid to do is a clear indication of the next thing you need to do.” (-Ralph Waldo Emerson). My parent´s divorce has shaped and influenced my whole life, with a lot of side effects. I fell into a state of depression. I learned not to dwell on the bad things in life. I found a person within myself that I could live with for a while, a kid that I could be proud of, someone I wouldn’t hate. Over the years, I’ve changed, little changes, big changes, it’s all happened, and I am who I am today because of it. Not all crummy circumstances stay awful, even though it may feel like it. I can’t tell if I’ve changed for the better or the worse, but everything starts with something, one thing. My parent´s divorce shaped me into who I am today, whether the changes were good or bad, little or big, this has changed me.

Even though situations seem averse they might become positive in the end. To me and probably most people in my situation would say that their parents being divorced would be a negative situation. Although at the time I was distraught, I learned that my parents divorce might have not been helpful at first, but later on it affected my life dramatically.

My parents divorced when I was about seven years old, and my mom became the custodial parent. As my younger sister and brother, and I could adapt to always going back and forth between our parent’s. The challenging thing about having divorced parents is meeting their new significant other, which I have met multiple of them. Another thing is meeting my parent’s significant other’s children. Each person I met was nice, and if I was meeting a toddler, they were energetic. Although, each time I did meet these people, I was usually very distant and dramatic.

Looking back at my past, I recall my mother and father’s relationship as if it were yesterday. I am only four years old, small and curious; I tended to walk around my home aimlessly. I would climb book shelves like a mountain explorer venturing through the Himalayans, draw on walls to open windows to my own imagination, or run laps around the living room rug because to me I was an Olympic track star competing for her gold medal; however my parents did not enjoy my rambunctious imagination. My parents never punished me for it but would blame each other for horrible parenting skills; at the time I did not understand their fights, but instead was curious about why they would fight.

My dad is a farmer who works his hardest to support his family. He does everything just to make the people he loves happy. My mom is a factory worker producing airplane parts. She is a good mother who tries to give my sister and I the best life possible. Conflicts arose between the two and an unexpected turn of events occurred.

7th grade was the year I woke up. My mom called me into her bedroom late one afternoon and was still sitting on her bed, wearing her pajamas. The bright and cheerful sunshine that lit up the room gave a false ambiance of the tension that clouded the air. I already knew what she was going to say, but I did not want to believe it as the truth. I had noticed that my mom and dad's relationship with one another was growing apart just by the way they acted around each other. The conversations between them became shorter and their affection for one another began to fade. My dad spent his nights falling asleep watching TV on the couch, while my mom slowly disappeared back into her bedroom, alone. This had been happening for a while now, so I do not know why I was even surprised when my mom said to me that, “Your dad and I are getting a divorce”. I should have seen it coming. The clues were all in front of me, but I was too afraid to put them together. I was scared because, for the first time in my life, the image of my "perfect" family was crumbling before me. I knew inside that my family was falling apart, but I was desperately holding onto the fibers that I thought were keeping us together. It is hard to believe that one encounter can change the course of one's life forever. In this instance, I was awoken from the dream that I had been living in for so long.

I grew up with divorced parents and that was hard to begin with. As they both raised me kind of differently, my parents both have a different way of bringing up their children with faith in God. My father believes in God but he’s not the type of person to go to church then be a hypocrite about people that don’t go to church because he knows he’s not a devoted christian either. He knows you have to build a relationship with him through your faith and not just sitting in a classroom pretending you know everything about God. Then there’s my mom who has more of a traditional Catholic upbringing and believes that I won’t have a relationship with God if I do not get my confirmation before I graduate high school. That’s where my mother and I differ

Growing up in a home with both my parents, I was fortunate to be able to spend a lot of quality time with my father. We used to go out together and play soccer, baseball, and ride bikes. I remember we used to play a lot of old school video games and my mother would get pretty upset at the hours we spent playing and not doing anything productive. In my point of view, our relationship was perfect; our bond was strong like any father and son. I was only four years old when my world was turned upside down. My life changed the day that my mom and my dad separated, I felt alone. The process of a divorce was too much for a child that age to handle; it was a hard time for me. Although I had no father figure for about 12 years because my dad moved

My mom and dad got a divorce when I was only 5 years old. They told me it was because of domestic violence. For most of my life I wished I had a father. If I had a father, I thought, it would make things okay. My mom wouldn't have to work all the time and maybe she would spend time with me and my sister. Maybe my father would teach me to ride my bike or play soccer with me and my sister in the park. I knew these were all just puerile thoughts, but if he had been different maybe I wouldn't be on my own all the time looking out for my family and doing everything on my own.

According to Lipman-Blumen’s model, there are 10 dimensions to analyze my parents’ divorce. I think this crisis is a chronic and long-term stressor. The crisis can be described as follows:

My parents did not make the smartest decisions in their lifetimes. There was partying, drinking and drugs involved. They both hung out with some bad people and they both got themselves locked up once or twice. Then, I came along and my dad really started to change, my mom was still going out and not making the right decisions. My dad has been there for me ever since I was born. He was always there taking care of me when my mom wasn’t. My dad would sometimes wait up all night for my mom to come home and she never would. There was lots of arguing between them and

Devastated, I ran to my room gushing my eyes out. All these emotions going through my head of how my life would be without my parents in the same room or even house. From what I remember it all started about mid-June, the weeks before that were crucial. My parents would always argue over how to deal with a situation between me and my brother, Skyler. They hardly spoke to one another, but when they did they would just start bickering. I remember, one night after dinner they both went into ''their'' room with the door locked yelling at one another. Skyler and I didn’t know what to do, so we went downstairs and tried to figure out what was going to happen. With a scared tone I asked if mom and dad were going to get a divorce?" He answered back '' No, they love each other, they wouldn’t do that to us." That following night, was a school night everything was quiet except for my crying. I couldn’t sleep; all I was thinking about how it's going to affect my family.