My Parent's Philosophy Statement

The love of affection is a term that I feel I have had in my life and was easily portrayed as a need. My parents are the people in who brought me into this world. They have shown me their ways of becoming a person- by me making my own decisions, and most importantly having a walk with Christ. They may have been a pain to me through discipline, but they always have shown me their love through affection.

Our home consisted of 7 children (I am the 3rd child), we went to church every Sunday and were taught the importance of church and living good values. These values were taught for the most part in an authoritarian parenting style. Authoritarian parenting “does not encourage verbal give and take, believing that the child should accept her word for what is right” (Baumrind pg. 890). My mother, was for the most part a stay at home mom and was more of an uninvolved parent, “showing little to no affection or encouragement (Maccoby)” As children we did our own thing, but we understood what was expected. For example, every August, the task of replenishing our food storage was in full force (this was my mom’s responsibility), by canning, peaches,

Would you have come out different if your parents used a different parenting style? If you are considered “cool” now could you have come out a nerd if your parents would have used a different parenting style? “Parenting style is one of the primary determinants of your child’s outcome whether he succeeds, achieves, meets the challenges, flounders, gives up, or runs from or fails in handling life.” (6) The purpose of this paper is to describe the outcomes, processes, labor, and techniques of parenting in a psychological point of view. Parenting styles are defined as the “manner in which parents express their beliefs on how to be a good or bad parent.” (4) Each parenting style has its weaknesses and

~My parenting practices and philosophy come from my experience as a child. I remember when I was young my parents didn’t really push me to succeed and learn new things. I want my child to explore and learn as much as she can. My parents were also lenient when it came to me getting in trouble which made me do worse things when I was older because I knew the consequences wouldn’t be so bad. That made me want to be a strict parent.

I was raised in a Christian home where my parents taught God’s Word as our guide for life. Every single evening, we all prayed together as a family, usually standing in a circle with all six of us holding hands. It was usually brief, but it was not taken lightly, and it gave me a strong sense of security in God and family. The Bible says, “Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”, Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV). My parents firmly believe this, and they showed it, as not only did we pray together, but we also had family Bible studies and attended church together. My parents also gave us a good sense of high moral standards. I remember, when trying to figure out how much I should do for a “needy” friend of mine, my mother reminding me that we were called to be servants, but not slaves! I have remembered that ever since and now, finally, I have learned to say no to other’s expectations of me when I feel it necessary, without feeling too badly about it.

During my childhood my mother and father expected me, my brother and two sisters to be respectful, obedient and polite. They set a conservative tone for our house that was not as strict as a boarding school, but there were similarities. Now that is not to say they beat us, or were mean, in fact they loved us very much but the love was shown from a specific distance. We talked, we laughed, but we never talked loudly, and we never laughed too much. I can remember hugging my dad, but it was when I was pretty little. I guess he felt that I was a boy, and as such I had to stand on my own. My only problem was he worked so much I never really learned how to stand on my own as a man. He never taught me how to defend myself. My mom always told me to walk away from a fight, problem is kids don’t view the world as adults, and the kid looking to avoid a fight probably didn’t know how to fight, and that was just too tempting a target to pass up. After we mover to Cerritos it was different, my relationship with my dad changed. He was getting home after work on time, he was around in the evenings and on weekends. I could see he was more relaxed, under less stress than he had been before and it was great! We started doing things together more regularly. We went deep sea fishing 4 or 5 times a year, we went to science fairs, hobby shops and down to the local harbors and checked out sail boats. I was getting to know him, where he came from,

My family situation is very positive. My parents have been married for years. They were not able to have kids till they were years old. In 1997 they had me and four years later in 2001 they had my younger brother. Both of my parents’ parenting styles are different. They both, however have a combination of parenting styles described in Grace Based Parenting. Grace Based Parenting addresses seven parenting methods. The seven methods are fear-based, evangelical behavior-modification, image-control, high-control, herd-mentality, duct-tape, and life-support or 911 parenting. I think at one time or another, either both or one of my parents have exercised the methods fear-based, high-control, and grace-based parenting.

Upon my mother passing away in 2004 and my father remarrying in 2007, the cookie-cutter Christian girl life I had always known permuted into something completely new. I was to attend a public school instead of a private Assemblies of God academy, which had been both terrifying and exciting at the time. The most severe shift, however, was that

We all have had parents or caregivers that raised us in ways in which they thought would make us into good people. Some parent’s were very strick with their children, while some were the complete opposite. However, according to Balswick and Balswick (2014), ”Children who grow up without adequate guidance become fertile ground for authoritarian leaders or cults that prey on neglected young people” (p. 113). Also, according to Wilson et al. (2011), maltreated children are in constant state of stress which can permanently damage their brains, speeding of slowing down emotional responses. So, how is a parent to raise a children so they are not preyed upon, abused nor neglected? Diana Baumrind, a clinical and developmental psychologist has tried to answer this question through her reserch. She studied children and thier parents and came up with four parenting styles. According to Berger (2014) those parenting styles are authoritarian, permissive and authoritative. Authoritarian parents shows little support for their children and are very controlling (Balswick & Balswick, 2014). They demand a kind of blind obedience from the children. Permissive parents are very supportive but have little control over their children (Balswick & Balswick, 2014). This type of parent is reluctant to impose rules and standards, preferring to let their children to regulate themselves. Authoritative parenting occupies a sort of middle ground between granting too much freedom and being

Even when change was made by my parents, I was able to implement these orders to my siblings without any aggression from them. I compare this action to the way Jesus leads. For an example, Jesus did not just instruct the disciples to go and heal, feed, and witness to the sick. He went out as well, by showing them how to lead in situations as this. I also think about on the boat while Jesus rested, a storm came through and Peter almost drowned from fear. Jesus walked on the water, and showed Peter that there is no need fear.

My mother was a very positive influence in my life, and she always took time to listen to my problems and support me emotionally. My family also uses the authoritative parenting style with their children, as this parenting style allows parents to use boundaries for acceptable behavior by showing love, acceptance, and warmth (Lauer & Lauer, 2012). For instance, my parents allow us to go out to movies, but they have a specific time they need us home each night. They have used a combination of aversive and nonaversive discipline with each of their children, though the type of discipline depends on the negative action the child did and the child’s personality. I was a challenging child, so my parents used more aversive punishment with me than with my biological brother and sister.

Credibility Statement: I have grown up in a christian household that used authoritarian and authoritative parenting styles. My parents have always been very strict, and I have never felt strong emotional connections to either of them because of it. When too many rules are involved, children can feel unloved and act out. I have talked to many parents as well as their children to gather more information on the topic. I am directly tied to this subject as much as you guys are. After all, we all have parents.

Our parents began arguing a lot. We were going through a financial crisis. My mother had gambling issues, which I did not know then. The first time I saw my father cry was when my mother got involved in a car accident. She survived but her left leg was not able to function as it was before. It is difficult for her to run and the pain returns from time to time. She remained bedridden for a while and I could see her getting depressed everyday not being able to go anywhere. The second time I saw my father cry was when his sister’s husband passed away in a car accident. I did not understand what was happening at the time, they gave me the phone to talk to her but she was just sobbing. Both my parents were tearing up while me and my brother were just confused and sad because everyone was crying.

During my early childhood, I had both of my parents and grew up with three other siblings from a different Father. Both of my parents were born in Belize in Central America. I was born in New York. They instilled many thoughts, ideas and traditions of the Belizean culture. My mother had an authoritarian style of parenting meanwhile my Father had an authoritative style of parenting. Looking back at it, it made sense because I was closer to my Father than my Mother. My Mother was the one to always saying “No” to everything and my Father was stern but we had a great relationship.

I have a really great relationship with my parents. I guess I can say that they’re my favorite people in the whole world. I’m definitely more close with my parents than any other person would be. Probably even closer than my own brother. I only have one other sibling, and when he left for boarding school, it was only me and my parents left in the house. So we would spend a lot of time together when they weren’t at work. They would take me everywhere with them. I remember we used to randomly pick a night and go to a restaurant together for dinner and we’d talk about our day and just bond over food. My parents would even take me on their business trips because they would feel bad leaving me at home with my aunt or grandmother. They would go to New York City for their business trips and they would take me along with them. I enjoyed every second of those business trips because anytime with my mom and dad is a good time for me. Even when my mom had a doctors appointment at Johns Hopkins hospital for a brain tumor, they brought me along with them.